Advice really appreciated - crap and horrible situation...

[munchkinmum]

Hii

Will not go into details (long story) but would like some opinions on how I can address this issue...

Basically I have had a major run in with the proporietor of my dd's nursery. During a 'discussion' with her, she offended me, personally attacked my character, said to me "if I wasn't so professional I would smack you" and also tried to use a separate issue to 'smokescreen' the complaint that I had made to her nursery manager that she had then paased on to the proprietor of the nursery.

I have been so upset/angry at this and want to address it - but not with her directly. Ofsted, from an initial enquiry, have said that they are not likely to be able to address it (and they pointed out it is my word against hers re: the smacking threat).

Who can I go to, what should I do? One thing is for certain is that I just cannot let this go - her behaviour is truly shocking.

Sorry if this is long and a bit shady on the details, but the lead up to this is a very long story that I cannot put in this thread...

Support much appreciated mumsnet mates....

I sympathise, but do think you need to take a step back and get a bit of perspective tbh.

The woman was rude, there?s no question of that, she acted unprofessionally, no question of that either, and her behaviour was totally out of order. But to imply that you are concerned for the safety of the children under her care based purely on how she spoke to you is an overreaction imo. Lots of people say things that they shouldn?t, it doesn?t mean they?re unsuitable to have anything to do with children, in fact as the owner of the nursery she probably has very little to do with the children actually, as that?s what her staff are employed for. Also, it?s possible that because she was leaving, she felt this was the one opportunity to really speak her mind, to really tell the next person who complained what she thought of them, safe in the knowledge that she was leaving and would never have to see them again. It doesn?t make her behaviour any more justified, but it?s something I can definitely understand as when I worked as a customer adviser I was dying to have an irate caller on my last day just so that I could tell them I really didn?t care. All my last callers were lovely actually and in reality I would probably have never followed through, but the thought was there.

Reality is that you?re unlikely to ever get your apology. I would put it down to a nasty experience, and unless there is real reason for complaining about the nursery, and this woman, ie if the way she runs her nursery is putting children?s safety/welfare at risk, then I would take a deep breath and move on. I certainly wouldn?t go to the media as it is your word against hers and if she decided to take it further and pursue you for lible then you could have a lot to lose.

munchkinmum, you could contact the polce and see if you can log the threat, I think threatening to hit you is a public order offence and would come under threatening words/behaviour, there may not be any evidence (your word against hers) but they might have a word with her, this might make an impact because if she did hit you or anyone else and got a criminal record it could prevent her from working with any children in the future.
(Different situation) About a year ago my DH had a stalker and although she hadn't done anything apart from texting and calling him he still reported it just to get a record of it just incase she made any complaint about him, the police were really good and asked if he wanted them to go round and have a word with her.

If this woman can lose her temper with you and resort to threats, what is she like with the children?

Without knowing more details, it is hard to suggest what to do.

As the nursery has now been sold, it makes it even harder, as a complaint to the regulator (Ofsted) will affect the new nursery, not the old one.

Threats to yourself, should be logged with the local police. They may not be able to do anything, but by having it logged, should anything happen in future the past event can be referred to.

If the nursery had breached any of the National Standards, then a complaint can be lodged with Ofsted. However, you will need to make it clear that the complaint is regarding standard of care when the nursery was under previous ownership. It would also help to include details of other nurseries the same person owns. It is complicated as you are complaining about a nursery that no longer exists (as such), as having been sold to someone else, I think the new nursery gets a new registration.

Are you ALLOWED to do that????

OI BBC NO

I have reported you