Follow up: advice needed

[IsabellaMoltisantixx]

So had settling in session for dd 9 months (after my posts regarding starting nursery) and I was .... shocked

Basically it was an hour long I was in the room with her filling out paperwork and was very disappointed

There were 4 nursery nurses in the 'baby room' and about 10 other babies, actually 5 but one had to go out for something
Anyway, was just a bit u underwhelmed my dd wasn't really plying as I expected. She hasn't been round many babies or unfamiliar situations so she wS kind of sat there staring at everyone. Now, I really have no idea how nurseries work but at that point aren't the workers supposed to pick her up? Get her involved, ?? Make her feel comforted?!?
I honestly can say an hour in there filling out paperwork and none of them budged?!?? They all seemed to be conversing between themselves with the odds 'did so n so have his bottle or 'we have to put him down for a nap'

Don't get me wrong , they didn't ignore her they all said hello n one point we're singing nursery rhymes and coaxing her to come near to join in but I was just so disheartened
I feel like if that's how they were with me sat in the room with my dd only being there for an hour how the hell is it gonna be for her first full day?!?!

Am I overreacting? Is this just normal, it's quite unsettling to see tbh, also my dd grabbed a wooden toy ad pulled herself up on it which she's doing a lot these days, from her weight she tipped the toy over and flipped round, thankfully wasn't hurt n didn't react but just seeing that made me think God stuff must happen like that all the time n no one notices??

This is an outstanding nursery btw with lots of recommendations...
I feel really worried and apprehensive Moreso after her settlingnin session what can I do?

Please advise thank you

If she's doing one day then it will take her a bit longer to settle especially first thing but she will be fine after a while. Her upset will lesson each week too. Don't show er you are anxious or worried. Just say 'Have a nice day, I'll see you later DD, love you' in a cheery voice, give her a kiss then go. Long goodbyes are worse for both of you.
Also can you get your nursery to send pics for you? I've done that before for a parent who was worried about her DD. I took it time stamped (about 5min after she left) and she was running around happy.

I think they'd have offered the milk to eliminate possibilities - was she crying from hunger, or something else? Hunger is the easiest one to sort out and most sensible to try first. As they get to know her they will have more idea if she's upset, why she's upset.

I hadn't left mine with other people (no extended family to leave her with) but she was very used to interacting with a lot of other people of all sorts of ages through going to church with me eg sitting with someone else whilst I had a coffee, and also several toddler groups each week - it was one of the questions on the settling in form, whether she'd spent time with children of the same and different ages. She very quickly settled at nursery.

I know it's easy to say don't be anxious in front of them but they do pick up on your anxiety and that will affect her too. I admit I was so desperate for a break from DD that I almost ran out the door for the second settling in session and asked if I could leave the building (most parents seemed to stay in reception!) to go and have a coffee on my own in the cafe next door. So I was emanating very positive vibes about it, which probably helped? From your posts it sounds like you're really dubious about nursery and almost want it not to work out?

Don't worry too much about the milk. She probably got a bit upset, so they checked her nappy, gave her a cuddle, tried playing with her and then thought maybe she was hungry, or milk would soothe her. They were trying their best to comfort your child.

My DD started Nursery at 14 months but developmentally was about 9 months so same age. She goes 3 days a week.

The first few weeks she'd cry at drop off and it broke my heart. She had 1 settling in session of 1 hour as the manager was away on holiday so she couldn't have anymore - in her settling in I was with her for 30 mins then had to leave her for 30 minutes.

They also didn't choose a keyworker until she'd been there 4 weeks as they let them babies choose a member of staff they liked.

DD is now 3 and runs into Nursery in the morning, which I find more heartbreaking than when she cried at drop off because why would she rather be there than with me?

Her lovely keyworker left yesterday after being her keyworker since baby room, and they all had a cry. It was so sweet seeing a grown woman hugging 6 three year olds and them all having a cry.

I also have GAD, and Social Anxiety so understand how daunting it is. Please trust your instincts, but it sounds like a good Nursery. I'd expect baby room to have a lot of child-led activities as they're so little and won't really understand "put the potato down into the paint".

I too think you're worrying over minor things. The nursery sound like they're doing things normally. Your dd will have a fab time once she's settled and it will be great for her socially. About six of my colleagues send their dc to the same nursery as mine. We have a whatsapp group and every now and again someone says 'how was x as he was crying when I left?' Then someone else will reply saying 'I passed you in the car park and by the time I got in he was sat eating his toast happy as Larry'.

I think the giving milk thing was a good shout. They wanted her to be consoled and as they don't know her yet they thought milk might work. Shows they didn't just want to leave her to cry until she got over it. They'll get to know her pretty quickly.

My dd has been going to nursery since she was 10 months (was full time initially, now 4 days) and she loves it. She has learnt so much more than she would have done at home with me. The staff love her and she loves them. I'm a teacher too btw.