Am I being an over-anxious mummy? Not sure if nursery is providing right care...

[PavlovtheCat]

I am a first time mummy - My 9.5month old DD is at a nursery for currently one day per week, possibly rising to 2 days. She has been going for about 2.5 months and seems to be settling in to the routine ok.

I have some niggly concerns, and wonder if they are me having too high expectations as a first time mum or if it is not perhaps the right place for her. I only get to see how things are run for about 15 mins x 2 each day as I go in to feed DD, and sit in the baby room whist doing it. Sometimes it seems like the managers come in to give me a 'show', make sure I see it is run well.

However -
The carers seem 'bored', they are not rude to the babies, but do not seem to be happy to be with them. They do not do very much with them, apart form make sure they are safe.
There does not appear to be any specific structure to the day, at least not in the baby room. The activities seem random.
Sometimes the babies are left on their own. I mean by this that although there are usually (but notalways) the correct no. of carers to babies, the carers are often doing other things, like sweeping the floor and filling in paperwork (last two times, both carers have been doing something). So the babies are on their own, not doing much.
Some of the toys seem inappropriate, like feathers. I am reluctant to give my DD stuff like this in case she chokes.
I went in to BF my DD last week, and she had some cardboard in her mouth, which it appears had been there a good few minutes, and was not noticed by a carer, she had chewed it off a book and when I commented, the carer acted like it was normal, not concerned.
They do not appear to follow the routine set by me, as requested, re naps etc, she does not get put down to sleep in cot room often.

on the plus side.
There is a particular carer she seems to really like.
She took a bottle for the first time last week there, and ate her breakfast, which she has not been doing, and they finally seem to be understanding her.
She did not cry at all this week when she was there and seemed happy when my DP collected her.
They change her nappies often
They offer healthy food
They have an outside space
They keep good records.

They do averything 'acording to the law' but they seem to do this at the expense of the children? What do you think? Am I expecting too much?

Pavlov

Trust your instincts. My ds started going to nursery when he was 11 months old. The first couple of months were really hard and I had to stop myself so many times from questioning the staff - I was convinced I was just being a paranoid first time mum. Instead of asking why they were leaving that baby to cry I just presumed the parents had told them to do it that way. Or when i felt they were spending far too long strapped into high chairs, I just kept my mouth shut.

But then things got worse. The staff became really narky with each other, sniping at each other. ds was coming home with bumps and bruises no-one had noticed and he cried his eyes out everytime I dropped him off OR collected him.

The final straw was when he came home one day with nappy rash so bad he couldn't sit down.

We've now found a lovely lovely nursery, which just happens to be montessori. The baby room staff all adore the children. I nearly cried with joy the first time I turned up to collect ds and he was chasing one of the staff around the room but could hardly walk for laughing. So I know he has fun there and I believe the staff are genuinely interested in the kids and are quite attached to them.

So good nurseries DO exist. Trust your instincts - I wish I had. I would have saved myself and ds a lots of tears. If you're not happy, speak up.

I've wanted to ask this, as DS had his second day today (he's 17 months)..

They have a ratio of 6 kids (0-4 years old) to 1 carer, as different rules apply in Holland where we are. The babies seem to be left quite a lot and made me vow I would not put a non-walking baby in a nursery here!

Nursery is clean, well organised etc, but they didn't change his nappy during the 4 hours, I took him home and realised in horror he was still in the same nappy as I'd taken him there in, and quite wet. Does this sound quite bad? I will have STRONG words about in when we go in again on Tuesday. Also they only take them outside to play before 11 and after 4, quite a short time I'd have thought..

oh dear!