Advice needed - coping with childcare costs for twins - IMPOSSIBLE?

[Skyblue81]

Hi everyone,

I really really need some support and advice. I am Mum to 2-year old twins and am tying myself in knots over trying to balance work with childcare costs.

I was studying for a PhD when I fell pregnant, so when they were aged 1 they went to nursery full time so I could study. I paid for nursery using my savings (which are now all gone) so that I could finish my PhD. Now I have finished studying and I've just started a GREAT full time job with a good salary for my field and great benefits. I took the job and enrolled the twins in nursery full time, with a local nanny doing nursery drop-offs and pick-ups due to my hours of work.

Now I've started the new job and have realised that after deductions (Tax, NI, student loan etc) my monthly wages don't actually cover the cost of nursery & nanny. We're short by about £400 a month. My husband's salary only just covers our other expenses (rent, bills, food etc) and so we really cannot afford to subsidise my job by £400/month. We also have some outstanding credit cards we need to keep on top of.

I have tried to find alternative solutions to this problem; I've looked at childminders and nannies, but the cheapest option in our area is the current arrangement of full time nursery + nanny to pick up / drop off. We have no friends and family who are able or willing to support us or help out.

I am turning myself in knots trying to figure out alternative options, and have got so stressed I now cry when I think about how to fix it / how impossible it all is. I really want to stay in my job as It's a great job and I want to build my career for my family's future, and also I'm aware that next year when the twins turn 3 years old things will get easier, as we'll get the 15hrs/week free childcare.

If I stay at home then we'll still be struggling financially. My reasoning is tat at least if I'm working, yes we're short of £400/month but at least there's two salaries coming in to cycle through so we can pay credit cards and overdrafts each month. If I don't work, and stay at home, my husband's salary will mean we're still really tight and there may not be spare money to pay off credit cards. I should add that my husband earns a decent wage which puts us well out of being eligible for any Government help or Child Tax Credits etc.

I'm basically going to work to pay my childcare costs (and more) and it seems ludicrous and far too stressful to arrange otherwise. Can anyone offer ANY advice on this topic? Am I just being stupid trying to make this work - i.e. should I just stay at home with the twins until they turn 3? In that case, I'll have to get some bar work or something in the evenings to support us, but I'll be knackered from looking after two 2-year olds during the day.

ANY help or advice would be REALLY appreciated, I am seriously worried I am heading for a nervous breakdown trying to juggle all of this :(

Agree that if you could consider a nursery close to work, you could lose the cost of the nanny.

Or, could you shift your day slightly - I used to leave v early so would start at 7.30am (H dropped children at nursery) and then I left about 4 pm and could collect at 5.30pm. H usually stayed later.

Agree about nursery vouchers, ask about a discount for the 2nd twin at nursery. Check whether the daily rate goes down as they get older.

One slight negative - 15 "free" hours are rarely free, it depends how the nursery offers the hours but you will usually pay for hours either side / food / extras. Might be something to bear in mind in your budgeting.

Thanks all. SimLondon, or anyone else, can you tell me what HV is?

Health Visitor

What about an au pair? I know they are often young, so not ideal but perhaps they could do three days a week and the drops offs for two days at nursery? And if you could possibly work from home a couple of days you would be there if there were any major disasters?

Do you have any friends with young children? If you could the nanny not possible have them also and you and their parent(s) split the hourly cost of the nanny?
I was of the belief that generally 2/3 children made a nanny more affordable than nursery.

My nursery is also really helpful if you are struggling with fees etc and may be able to pull some strings/discounts - just arrange a meeting with the nursery manager.

Condensed hours would help massively. Again you've said you can only broach this after 6 months but I'd would (and did) try sooner with a successful outcome. If both you and DH could do this, better still.

This; Multiple birth finance info may be helpful.

We're one of the families who took the SAHD option but only as DH was in minimum wage roles, if he'd had a career I'm sure we'd have battled more to keep two incomes but it just wasn't sensible for DH to continue and us be worse off