is there any evidence that going to nursery helps a child

[feb14mum]

were looking at nursery for our daughter who is 18 months. We've had some quotes and we think their rather expensive.
We want to know what the benefits are of getting her into a nursery she would only be going for one morning a week.

At the moment husband works mon -friday and I look after her . I work sat and Sunday and he has her. It does seem silly to waste money on the nursery when he is available to have her. If we decide to put her in I would change my shifts so the morning she goes in example Wednesday I would go to work which then gives me a day off at weekend for our family time which at the moment we don't get any off only on evenings when he's home from work for few hours. plus I think it will do her good to have a break from bring wiwith me constantly.

I'm really in two minds about putting her In I think it will do her social skills good but can I justify the money for it when we have just bought a house and needs work doing on it ect. its her speech mainly will it improve that. will she gain more confidence. will she be a bit more out there as although she's not shy she always seems to be the one sitting back in things and waits for other kids to get their toys and things like that. I do currently take her to 2-3 playgroup and activy sessions a week so we do get social skills ffrom them but she always has me near.

is your child in nursery have you noticed a difference. I'm wanting something I can read and show to my husband that yes it will make a difference

Not at that age, and certainly not for 1 morning a week.

In her pre-school year, I'd say yes, (but for more than 1 morning a week) but anyone using a Nursery younger than that is doing it because they need the child free time themselves - there's no advantage to the child.

*I'm not saying it does harm btw just that parents look at their own child and give credit to the nursery when in fact they'd have done equally well at home, going to toddlers groups etc.

My pfb was talking in sentences at 14 months - not because I was a sahm but just because she was - if she'd gone to nursery maybe I'd have assumed that was why! She did everything early before age 2 (walked at 9 months, recognised all her letters by an out 20 months) and was very sociable (which is what allowrd her to pick up her second language in the community) but would have done that at home with me or in good childcare - only bad childcare, extreme poverty or a tuned out parent who didn't bother with her would have he'd her back.

DD has been at nursery since she was 10mo, she's now 26mo. I'm on mat leave with dc2 and we have reduced her nursery to just 2 consecutive days.

The 5 days at home is a long time for a toddler, and she's kicking off every week about going. She loves it when she gets there but I think the days more spread out would be better.

I agree with pp that she would benefit from time with both parents together, but if it worked for you, I would go for 2 mornings, say Tues & Fri.

Op I have been reading about this a lot. This is what seems to be the case to me:

Some research promoting the benefits of nursery care conflates different age groups so roughly speaking it's believed over 3s benefit in terms of cognitive skills and literacy, but it's then often reported that this benefit applies to younger children too when it doesn't.

I can't find much suggestion that under 3s, and certainly not under 2s, benefit from the socialisation aspect. In fact it seems that attachment and dependency until 2-3 fosters good independence later and children under this age do not benefit at all from 'socialisation' and may find it stressful. I think a lot of people apply adult standards to very young children (independence and socialisation good) and also think that independence and socialisation is a smooth process from birth to adulthood and so it's good to start them young, when in fact it seems to me that there are distinct phases in development.

Obviously a v contentious topic and if you need to use a nursery then it's a totally different ball game, but personally I can't see anything to suggest that there's be any benefit to putting an under 3 in nursery unless I had to.

Good post Sleepybeanbump. I agree that some people try to push 'socialisation' on their children well before they are ready.

I don't think there's any benefit for under 3s although I think most recent studies show there's no overall negative outcome either for children who have been in 'high quality' childcare. I believe the benefits of socialising with other children are more for 3-4 year olds, as developmentally that is when they start interacting.

Having said that, mine both started 2 mornings a week at around 2.5 for childcare reasons. I wouldn't do any less than 2 sessions as I think there's too much of a gap from week to week otherwise.

Thanks lotta. The other thing I notice on threads like these is people talking about all the activities at nursery. Personally, I also think it's easy to overstimulate very young children. I also think we do ourselves a disservice as mothers to think that a very young child is going to to be bored by doing what it wants the most- just spending time with the person it loves and needs most in the world and doing random stuff.

Not to mention that I'm also a great believer (more relevant to older children) in enforced boredom. Boredom is fantastic. It's the only way of learning how not to be bored.

Agree about 'boredom'!

I'm an Early Years SLT and I often have parents telling me that they want to send their under 3s to nursery because being around other children will 'help them talk more'. I always remind them that as adults, their language skills are way more advanced than any 3 year old their child might meet and, with support, they have all the skills they need to provide excellent language stimulation themselves! Lots of parents don't have any idea of the essential role they play in their child's development and I don't know exactly where that problem starts.

If you can wait till she is 3+, I would!

Nursery is a boon if you are the type of mother/parent who really struggles to relate to and be with a small child 24x7.

DDs nursery were quite happy to sing "the wheels on the bus" 300 times then read the same book 200 times.

This would have driven me completely bonkers and I applaud those child friendly ladies who looked after DD when she was under 5.

They also toilet trained her, to this day, I do not think I can express my gratitude enough.

Also, DD was an only child so being able to integrate with other children was really helpful. Other children react differently to parents and push their own point of view fiercely, whereas a parent will generally give into the child. I think that part of child interaction really helped DD as she realised she wasn't the centre of the universe who could always get her own way.

My only comment to add really is that it's not worth putting her in for only one morning per week. She won't get chance for it to become familiar and it might be so hard to settle her that it's not worth it. One morning for you as well is hardly worth having. That said, I've found part time nursery to be invaluable for my DS who went 2 and then 3 days per week from 11 months.

I have no evidence other than my own experience. My dd had very low social integration until she was 2 (we are a military family and were posted to a very small island community). When we relocated we started putting her in nursery just 1 morning a week. She has come on so much it is unreal! Before she was very shy, rather clingy. Now she is the one they use to introduce the new quiet kids. She is going full time in September due to uni, but I have no concerns and think she will thrive in doing so! I would also like to note that I also took her to play groups but did not help her much socially as she could just cling to me. Its also good as it gives you some you time. We pay £23 for 5hours. That includes a snack, hot meal (she always has 2nds!) And pudding. X

To add to my last post, dd only goes one morning, she knows all the staff and she is very familiar. She can't wait to go every week to see her friends. Every child is different but for us, 1 morning definitely makes a difference to both of us! X

I don't agree that children benefit from nursery unless their parents aren't up to socialising the child and then of course they would benefit. This is why we personally chose not to use childcare, but provide ey education ourselves.
All 3 didn't miss out on anything by not attending and were beyond their peers starting school both academically and socially.

However, in terms of what your family would gain from just one session a week would be worth it and certainly of no detriment to her development.

Putting aside your question, would the time make a difference to your family? Currently, you get no time with your husband apart from in the evenings so perhaps one day at the weekend all together would be really nice!

I found a child minder for my son when he was a year old. She came to my house then took him to hers so that I could shop, clean the house and just have three hours when I wasn't surrounded by anyone who needed me (he is my third child and was a terrible sleeper so this time was crucial to me). This time made me happier and therefore a better Mum!

If it works for you and your family, you don't need a study to back you up.

thanks for all The comments some help full some not so much. I can't up my days and I don't want to work that much anyway . also all our nurserys will allow her in one morning a week. I have something set up at work with my boss so every few weeks I get a Sunday off so we're going to have to make sure we actually do something in that time. and have some family time then.

I think she does get interactions skills from the various groups we attend and meeting our mummy friends.

at this moment in time were carrying on what I'm doing currently and hopefully when she's 3 were look into it all again as she then gets her free entitlement aswell.

Just for balance, I'm a SAHM to 5 children. The first 2 didn't attend any early years setting at all. They started reception at almost 5 and settled very well. No tears and really enjoyed it. They made lots of friend quickly and are now both in secondary school. They are still outgoing and confident.

The 3rd and 4th spent 6 months in a school nursery before starting reception. Again settled well, and started school well. No difference between them and my first 2.

The youngest is 2 and I will send her to the school nursery at 3.6, more for my own sanity than her benefit to be honest!

Hi feb14mum, I'm an Early Years Practitioner and in my experience Nursery for 2+ is fantastic but for under 2s I would say it's a big no no.

When your child turns two you could be entitled to 15 free hours, and after turning three you definitely will be so maybe hold on until then?

I completely disagree with parents who says that child should stay home because one-to-one care is better for them until they go too school. 18 months is a very good time to start nursery. Your child is independent, can walk, explore and eat herself. I think it is important to find a nursery you trust. Staff should be committed, creative and build relations with children. They should speak to children, respond to they needs. Internal kitchen and chef are also important. Facility should be suitable to accommodate all children outdoor. Garden should be full of opportunity to play. There should be motivation system and they should address all your conserve. You should feel you know what is going on. That may sound very unrealistic but nurseries like that exists. No all nurseries are bad, staff don't care and children suffer.

My parents kept me home as my mum wasn't working and I never went to nursery. From my bedroom every day I saw children playing together when I had to stay home. That was very sad as I didn't understood. If you have only one child find the best place for her to help her become social.