DD says member of staff hit her at nursery

[PostmistressMcColl]

Kids make stuff up I know, but the way my DD has discribed this to me makes me worried. I don't want to put a lot of detail here to out us (and have name changed) but I'd really like some advice on what DD's nursery ought to do.

From what DD describes, a member of staff at nursery gave her a clip/slap round the back of the head yesterday when she wasn't co-operating, which is an odd thing imho for a 3yo to invent.

It's not me who does drop off and pick up, but much of what she told us has been relayed to the nursery manager today. We wanted primarily to see if there could be some explanation for what she was saying. The nursery manager apparently straight away described the same situation DD had described (without having been given the context DD had given about the activity they were doing at the time for example) but the manager said she just moved her to get her to do what she was meant to be doing, and that no children are ever hit at the nursery. So I am now wondering what on earth actually happened.

Should the manager automatically be making sure this is properly investigated? (From what both the manager and DD have said, it sounds like the manager herslf was invovled, so presumably someone else at the nursery should investigate!) or do I need to request this?

Although my DD has not been injured, if true this would be a really serious thing wouldn't it? Equally, DD, aged 3, is clearly not hugely reliable as a witness! If I were sure something had happened, and especially if DD had been bruised/marked, I think I'd need to go straight to Ofsted or the local council with it, but in these circumstances I'm not sure? Any advice very gratefully received! I'm clear on what I need to do for my peace of mind wrt DD and childcare, but want to make sure that this is followed up properly.

Just wanted to add that informing Ofsted is quite an extreme step (it sometimes gets banded about as an everyday thing to do!). So worth exploring all the facts first, which it sounds like you're doing. I've had to talk to my niece about how we describe things. She was 5 and went to the school I taught at...she told me a teacher 'grabbed and hurt her', it was only because I was there that I know the teacher grabbed her to stop her running in front of a car!! luckily I was able to translate this for my sister but the member of staff could have been in serous trouble. It's quite worrying!

It is hard to know, but at the same time, very important to start from the point of believing the child.

My dd when she four told my that my mother had slapped all over the place in the half hour I was out of the house. As my mother only hit me twice under extreme provocation while I was growing up, I found it very hard to believe, but fortunately there had been another little friend there at the time who I was able to ask, to show that I was taking what my dd said seriously, and sure enough, dd was hugely exaggerating.

I think you sound very measured in your approach.
Have to second that kids do misinterpret a lot. I have twins and they did this a lot and still do aged 5. Eg. They often come and tell me the other one punched them and that someone at school punched them. Turns out they meant 'pinched'. Ok still not great but not as bad as punched!

I tend to agree with your view that if it was an entirely innocent case of the manager turning your DD then she wouldn't have remembered it and referenced it immediately.

Even if it was as manager described it sounds as though maybe your DD protested at the time which caused the manager to remember iyswim. In which case it would have been good practice/prudent to inform you or whoever was picking up. Any accusations of abuse, no matter how unfounded, should be recorded in an incident book. I would definitely want to understand exactly what had happened with reference to reporting procedures if nothing else.

Thank you again everyone. I left a message to speak to the manager today but my call hasn't yet been returned :-( Will try again on Tuesday!

The nursery my daughter works at has CCTV in all rooms. It may be worth asking if yours is the same and if so can you see footage just to put your mind at rest.

Obviously the child could be making something up -

But... in DS's nursery when he was 1 year old - one of the workers who seemed lovely was caught being very physically and verbally abusive to the children

This type of stuff does go on in Nurseries and other settings where vulnerable people are cared for - and it's a lot more common than most people realise I'd say.

We still have our children in childcare as we need to work - but I will never trust anyone fully again.

The problem is that you can never really know what is going on - the abuse at our nursery happened despite CCTV and there being other staff in the room.