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Nurseries

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Original poster

DD hurt by member of staff at Nursery - Ofsted!?

39 replies

Leah4 · 27/07/2006 12:25

My DD who is 4 and a half, came home from her nursery yesterday with two long scratches just below her collar bone, and it was also very red. She was happy when I collected her, and only mentioned it at home. It looked very sore and quite alarming. When I asked her what had happened, she initially said "I don't know", and then after further questions, said that her nursery teacher had grabbed her shoulder to get her in line.
My DH and I went to the nursery this morning, to speak to that member of staff. She said that she would never do such a thing and she could not have scratched my DD as she does not have any nails. I said that she could still inflict scratches if her nails are short and ragged, which they were. She also thought that it could have been one of the children. This is definitely not possible due to the angle of the scratch, and I explained this. It does look like she had been grabbed quite hard. She said she would speak to my DD today about it. She would not admit that it could have been her fault. My DD does not make up stories, and has been happy at nursery. Her manager is away for 2 weeks. I am really angry about what happened, and my DD was also to upset to tell the member of staff that she did this, when we spoke to her.
Sorry for the long post. My DD is at the nursery until the end of August as she starts school in the Autumn, and I have paid up to then. I feel like taking her out now.
Should I wait for the manager to come back, and what would the next step be? I have never had an incident like this, so I am unsure as to what to do next. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.

OP posts:

hulababy · 28/07/2006 09:29

I figured that HNC. But as I had commented on the whole story thing, thought I would just clarify my position.

hulababy · 28/07/2006 09:29

Sorry, HMC!

Jimjams2 · 28/07/2006 09:36

I'm doubting the child because she said she didn;t know when first asked. If ds2 says he doesn't know and I continue to question him he tends to make something up because he figures I must want an answer.

Also like hulababy I would be wary about jeopardising someone's career and livelihood over scratches that may well have been inflicted by another child.

It is exactly for scenarios like this that our nursery's manager does not let a single adult be alone with a child/children, so there always witnesses and her staff and the children are protected. That's why I would suggest talking to the acting manager to find out whether someone else was present when the children were lining up who can shed further light on the matter.

Moomin · 28/07/2006 09:44

please proceed with caution. If a complaint of this nature is made against a member of staff it could have disasterous implications for her and her future. I'm not saying that she is automatically innocent but neither should she be treated as automatically guilty. talk to the manager and also gently talk to your dd again. see if her story is the same each time she tells it to you. if necessary get her to act it out maybe? please don't go to ofsted until you have spoken to the manager and you are unhappy with the outcome.

blueshoes · 28/07/2006 09:46

Agree with JimJams2. Dd frequently does not know about scratches/bruises on herself. But when I ask her how she got it or she notices it, she will make up the name of some child who did it to her just to get my sympathy - ok, she is only 3. But children are quite suggestible at this stage. Nothing sinister.

I too would look at overall whether dd is generally happy or bothered by it. And dd claims that I do scratch her too - even if purely unintentional.

morningpaper · 28/07/2006 09:46

I agree with jimjams. If my daughter said she didn't know where got an injurty from, I might say "Really? It looks really sore, how could you not notice!" but I wouldn't keep asking her questions, because then she might come up with something to please me, or because she feels daft not having an answer. I would trust her first response.

Moomin · 28/07/2006 09:49

yeah on reflection, mp is right. just been thinking about dd1 and how she would react. she's such a drama queen that i'm sure she'd re-enact the battle of hastings is she thought she'd get an audience.

if she didn't know how it happened 1st time, then your answer is probably there

NotQuiteCockney · 28/07/2006 09:49

My four-year-old makes stuff up if he knows you want an explanation, and he can't come up with one. I really wouldn't take this seriously at all, particularly as your DD is happy at the nursery and with this particular member of staff.

If anything happened, it was an accident, and surely not worth causing a fuss about?

hulababy · 28/07/2006 09:51

Also, when she was pulled back into line by the nursery teacher - was she pulled back because she wasn't doing as asked? I know if DD thinks she has been in trouble, she seems to think it is better if there is more of a story to it.

LemonTart · 28/07/2006 10:01

I am with jim jams for exactly the same reasons.

I remember being a duty parent for DD1 at our local playgroup. DD1 snatched a toy off a little boy. He knocked DD1 over, she bit him It was awful. Ok, so she was not quite 3 and had yet to settle in etc etc but it was awful. He had red teeth marks in his arm and screaming, DD1 was yelling and had a bruise coming up on her leg from being pushed etc etc Nightmare. Anyway, he wasn?t bleeding and he calmed down, DD1 said a lovely sorry and session continued. At the end, the playleader asked his mum for a word (to explain what had happened etc) and to stay back until the other parents had gone. However, during the few minutes while she was waiting, she saw the bite marks and questionned her son. He started wailing again and told her that a dog had bitten him on a walk!!!!! She was on her mobile to her DH hysterical. All in the space of a couple of minutes... Of course, it all got resolved, the dog was the toy dog DD1 had originally snatched off him and we went on a walk later in the morning where he took the dog with him. Fortunately, the mum was happy with the way the playleader handled it and was really lovely with DD1 (I was still glowing with embarrassment and a little tearful..). My long winded point being that you can never totally trust a child?s story when they are upset. Not that they lie as such, just that they can get so confused at a young age and very easy to jump to conclusions. (I am glowing hot thinking about my day in hell all over again now...)

Bugsy2 · 28/07/2006 10:09

What would you like the outcome to be Leah4? What is your gut instinct on this? Do you think that the nursery teacher could have grabbed your child and inflicted that injury?
If the nursery teacher did do that it is completely unacceptable and she should be cautioned, warned etc & a full apology given to you and your dd.
If she didn't do it, then it is an awful thing to be accused of.
I would strongly suggest that you have a chat to the manager. Take some photos of the injury that your daughter sustained & just say you would like to discuss how they happened.
At this juncture, you should also say that you would like a record of your daughter's injuries noted in the nursery incident book - you don't have to ask for the cause to be put down, but just that the injury is noted.

Original poster

Leah4 · 01/08/2006 15:37

The last time I posted I was at work, and have just gone back today. No email at home yet. Thank you so much for all the replies! Have just read through. DH and I went to see the staff member in the nursery office last Thursday. I had only asked my DD once as to what happened to her should and made sure that I did not keep on pushing her for a response. I do believe her. She is not over imaginative and has not made up stories in order to stop being told off. The teacher said that it could have been another child, and that she would never use force to put a child in line, but only hold the sides of their arms and put them in gently. She did not seem very surprised at what happened and genuine. She also said that she does not have any nails and could not have scratched DD like that. Yet she later stated that if she did hurt her, she would not have noticed at the time. I asked DD whether her teacher had talked to her, and she had. She had asked DD who did that to her, and DD said "You", and she also looked at. DD had also showed me how she did it, and she had not been ignoring the teacher when told to line up; was just not in a straight line.

I don't think this was done intentionally to my DD, and nothing further has been said to her as she is standing in for her manager who is away until next week. I will report it to the manager and ensure it is noted in the accident book. I don't know what more I can do really than that. Since thinking about it over the weekend, I don't think the teacher was being rough and hurt her intentionally. If I did, I would most certainly report it to Ofsted. her manager is absolutely useless, and very good friends with the teacher, so I am not expecting much help there.

OP posts:

MaryP0p1 · 02/08/2006 07:55

What are the staffing levels of this nursery Leah?

Original poster

Leah4 · 02/08/2006 15:59

The staffing levels in the nursery, Marypop1, have always been very good and the correct ratios. One of DD's teachers recently moved to a classroom next door, and DD really liked her. She was very good. She has been replaced by a younger lady.

OP posts:

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