Not sure whether to move DD to new nursery...advice pls!

[Lioninthesun]

DD is 21mo and has been having 2 half days at nursery since 13mo.
The nursery is very expensive and takes me half an hour to walk to - which up to now was a sacrifice I was willing to make.
However about 3 months ago her key worker, who is lovely, mentioned that she would be ready to move up to the big room soon and there was a group going up with her. However the group moved up (all of the friends she played with) and she is still stuck in the baby room. I was a bit surprised at this as she seemed to be more able than some who went up, but assuming it would only be a month until she went up, said nothing. I think I thought that perhaps they felt she wasn't ready after all.
However the next month came and went. No news. So I asked. Key worker said she is definately 'ready' but I would have to speak to the head of the new room. I did this and she made it clear that it isn't because of my DD's ability but because she is August born, they left her to last as they have no room at present (or no staff more to the point) and are at max.
Apparently DD will have to wait until July now!
It shouldn't bother me as I know she loves her key worker, but she is constantly looking over the fence in the garden at her old friends playing on scooters and big slides and asking to play with them. Instead she is stuck in with the babies and a sandpit.
Am I right in considering moving her to a closer and cheaper nursery where she can play with kids her own age. I am pretty annoyed tbh.
2 months(it will be 5 in total) shouldn't be a big deal, but she will be youngest in her year anyway so I feel nearly half a year could be really detrimental...or am I over thinking this?
Help! (And sorry for the essay!)

To be honest I was going purely on what her keyworker told me - she was ready 3 months ago. They didn't have space to move her up, but I only found that out last week, when I inquired as to when she would actually be moving and why she hadn't been moved up (I said I don't want to be a pushy parent but you keep telling me she is ready so what is the problem?). First they told me she would move in June and then this week it was put back to July. Having already waited 3 months and not been told what was going on, I think I had a right to ask and wasn't nagging.
Now I know why I don't feel it is the best place for her.
If they tell people their child is ready for the next room, you can't expect the parents not to worry that their child is in a room not suitable for their needs.

Yes Num3 I think they recently lost a member of staff who left suddenly from the big room a couple of weeks ago, which may have changed their plans I suppose. I just would have liked to be kept in the loop as now I feel I have just given them all cause to sit and judge me and think I am being stupid and pfb. Actually thinking of them doing that makes me feel better about leaving.

Oh well, they haven't bothered to reply to my email yesterday either explaining why I am moving her and that I am sad as the baby room was lovely (for babies) and she really likes her keyworker. I was really happy with them until all of this - gave them a box of DD's old toys for the baby room only 3 weeks ago when I didn't realise DD would still be playing with them there anyway!

The reasons may well be about physical space & staffing, but that doesn't mean the OP is wrong to move her DD to a nursery which will meet her DD's needs better.

Thanks Breathe and everyone who commented with something constructive :)

You're welcome.

We had an identical issue (also August baby) and DD was clearly upset by her friends going up without her. A few children were only 3-5weeks older than her but went up five months ahead. Looking back I don't think developmentally she was quite ready to go up with that warly group, but she sure as hell was when she eventually did go up. It was purely due to staffing levels and places being released by children going onto school.

Didn't make the tears any easier though, her behaviour also deteriorated as she was bored and fed up, now she is just getting ready to go up to the next room (we have babies, toddlers, pre school) and she is much more developmentally in line with her peers.

We love our nursery so didn't leave but I don't think its UR to do so, your DD wants stimulating, not babying.

Redwelly it is interesting - the school year seems to kick the moving up order out of kilter; kids with Aug birthdays can't fit because the school kids haven't moved on yet.
Glad you are happy with your nursery and it all worked out. It's really sad when they don't understand why they have been left behind.
On the plus side she is very good at feeding babies and holding them gently for cuddles/distracting them when they cry. If I ever get around to No2 I will enforce child labour

she is only 21 mths Lion - she's hardly been left behind for ages in many nurseries it's standard to keep them in baby room until age 2, so i think you are overreacting slightly.

i was relieved that my ds had longer in his toddler room before moving on to 'big nursery' its swings and roundabouts, i'm sure some of the parents of the ones who have moved up are moaning about that too!!

I think 5 months behind is a long time if you are under 2! As I said she is already going to be the youngest in her year, so I am keen to keep her with her peers and not kept with the year below her.
A toddler room probably has more things to do that are suited for a range of children. A baby room really doesn't.
If it is OK for 3 other under 2's to move up, why should it be different for my child (when the keyworker has told me she was ready - it's not that I MADE them tell me this!). You think it is OK to hold one child back for nearly half a year because of a staffing/room size issue and tell the parent not to be so 'nagging'? In any other job that kind of gaslighting wouldn't be tolerated. If you pay for childcare you expect it to be age appropriate.

oh well, sounds like you've made the right choice then i'm sure they'll be relief all round...

She's there for 2 half days a week.
She isn't 2 yet.

I think you are panicking unnecessarily about the nursery causing her to 'fall behind her peers'.

Lots of children, particularly those who have a SAHP, don't start nursery until after they're 3.

I chose to keep my August born DS at home til he started school full time at 4. He didn't fall behind, in fact he got top marks in his school for Y2 SATS (although we do live in a deprived area so not as many pushy parents).

Several changes in childcare due to over reaction by parents will be far more detrimental than another month in the 'baby room'.

But it won't be several changes. She would have moved up into a new room with new keyworker in July. I am moving her into a new room with a new keyworker next week instead. Just in a different building.
The 2 half days are the only break I get from her, but I don't want to be feeling guilty that she is not having fun and bored. Why anyone would pay for that I don't understand.
She learns so many new words a week and can do so many more things each month, half a year really is a long time to wait for her to be able to play on seesaws or with paints. This week she had "sensory time" with a tray of cocopops. At 21 months You really think that is an age appropriate activity?

Does the keyworker have any say in who moves where? Maybe she just assumed dd would be moving with the others?

No I think she just tells the manager of the next room who in her set is ready. Then I presume they go through the birthday list and pick out the oldest....

Children of all ages should have access to physical play and creative activies. If they don't then they are not delivering the curriculum correctly.
Food sensory play is usually carried out with all nursery ages. Last week our 2-3s played with mashed potato and preschool recently did dried pasta with warm water

A tray of cocopops is fine for a 21 month old Trays of rice/pops/oats with containers etc is an activity that would keep 2-3 year olds engaged too.

She goes out in the garden a lot which is good, but it also means she can see the bigger play area with the fun toys and her old friends.
Anyway this is going around in circles. Most of the nursery workers on this thread appear to think what they are doing is fine and I am a nagging idiot who shouldn't be informed of changes or kept in the loop, or be able to ask.
Thankfully a few can also understand my point.
Either way, I will be saving money and time and DD will get to play with friends and not have to feed babies their lunch for the few hours she isn't with me.
Meanwhile the old nursery can go back to rubbing their hands thanking heaven that another mummy took their child out of their nursery .
Win-win.

Lots of nurseries where I am have a 0-2 rooms and a 2-3 room, and they seem to be age appropriate. No reason not to be able to provide activities for a range of children on a 1:3 ratio. DS was in an under-2s room from 6 month to 2.

There are several reasons why they might not be able to move your child. Firstly it is great that they move the children based on stage & not age (horrified by the place that moves children on their birthdays, what if a child is not ready, gives no consideration of who that child is as an individual- that is BAD practice)

In terms of your situation OP. Firstly- they would only be able to move children if there was a space available in the room- so another child would have to move up or leave. So it is good that they are not squeezing her in there against the rules.

You are within your rights to ask her how they are meeting her individual needs, how they are planning for her specifically. If she is in a baby room they will have higher ratios, which is a good thing. Ask how her key worker will be planning for her as an individual, taking special consideration of her being an older child in the baby room. This may involve either taking her for visits to the older room or using their equipment.

I am not sure I would recommend moving just because of this- if she has a good relationship with the keyworker, the things you have described are unfortunate but not necessarily bad practice.

There are 3 rooms in this nursery.
When DD started we were told they move up to the next room between 18-20mo. I wasn't even thinking that far ahead back then, but perhaps keyworkers just shouldn't mention things like that. In case the parent asks questions.
Anyway, I'm off now. Thanks again everyone.

Actually my 3.5 yr old would absolutely adore sensory play with a tray of cocoa pops. I'm not saying you're wrong though in wanting to move your child up, but it doesn't sound that dreadful either.

I am sure no one thinks you are a nagging idiot op, I would of suggested you asked keyworker how you daughters needs where being met and expressed concerns about her being stimulated.
You mention her feeding babies, I do hope this ismt actual babies?
You should as a parent have access to dds learning journey and there planning to see what she is doing there

Ah sorry teachers X posted.
Yes, it would have been nicer if these things had been thought of but sadly they are understaffed as it is so I don't think much 1:1 time with DD in the bigger room was possible. Keyworker was lovely but it can't be easy having one child who is running about chattering away wanting to play when you have tiny babies to care for at the same time. I already felt I had broached the subject enough asking keyworker and manager of bigger room, so they new I was concerned and hopeful but nothing new was suggested.
When she started they made things live lava lamps and hand prints on paper. I rarely hear of anything now other than playing in the garden and this tray of cocopops which she sat and ate.
All a bit of a moot point now, but thanks for your post.

Yes num3 she holds their milk bottles and feeds them (supervised I assume) and helps them prepare the lunches (divvies up bits of cake or whatever onto plates and hands them out) and is allowed to hug/hold them.
She is amazing with my friend's 3 mo and I was wincing thinking how she holds her doll by her leg and my friend is much braver than I would be!

Yes, the learning journey seems to be updated every couple of weeks but no forward plans from what I could see... Post-it notes with "DD can count 10 rattles" or "DD can stack 5 building blocks" and then a circle on a few letters and a number underneath it.