I’m pleased she’s finally left home..

[AppleWithCheese]

My adult DD (25) has now moved in with her partner. I’m relieved and secretly quite pleased. I know some mums really don’t feel like this and it does make me feel a bit guilty but then I’ll not be sharing this with people I know in my RL.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Funny if I had my way I would have my two DCs , partners , dogs , etc live here forever and ever . House is big enough. But I know that it's not really what they would want . So occasional visits it is . In my own family I left home at 21 to emigrate and never lived at home again. Brother lived at home on and off until he was 38 . Whatever works for the house owner is OK .

That's great, although I do hope you won't then expect her to move back in as your carer when you get old.

I’m about to move back into my parents for the fourth spring back time as an adult, this time almost age 40 with a toddler too 🤣🤣

So don’t be confident she’ll never come back agin!

My dd is the same age and just buying her own place, and yes I feel the same - love having her at home but also love her flying the nest and making her own life now. I really won't miss the mess either.

I always feel sad when I see this as I'd imagined this would be me but our oldest DC has severe additional needs and is still not verbal or continent yet and will be 8 soon. When he was a baby before I realised things were not right I imagined watching films with him, laughing, meeting the first girlfriend or boyfriend, him travelling like I did, studying at uni, getting drunk, having fun. Now me and DH will just be his carer for ever more. I just don't see him being independent. It's hard to voice this in real life as everyone tells me not to be pessimistic but it's hard not to be. I grew up with no exposure to severe autism, learning issues etc and to be thrown in the deep end with a son with all this just means I feel sad reading threads where everyone just has that "common" trajectory. I wish it was me. I don't think DH and I will ever have another abroad holiday ourselves or travel ourselves or retire to a little cottage by the sea like I always dreamed off and see my children married/settled down and happy after they've travelled etc.

Enjoy the freedom op, sorry I don't mean that to sound bitter at all, it sounds like it will be amazing to get some time back to yourself and watch your child grow into themselves and make their own life. It's all I've wanted for mine. X

My dd is 22, I had a break when she was at uni, now she’s back home she drives me crazy. She’s lovely and I love spending time with her but I secretly can’t wait for her to move out.

Fairly sure my mum actually turned cartwheels when I buggered off with my boyfriend at 18 😂
think it will be a while for me yet, eldest is 21 but back home after uni, it’s lovely having her here but she’s very messy! Mind you I’d be sad if she moved very far away. Which she might decide to do as property is ludicrously expensive here.
next one is currently still at uni and am expecting her to be back next year,
youngest is 14, will be here for years.
I think it’s normal to want them to be able to move out and live as independent adults, surely as parents it’s what we always hope for.

My 24 yr old has just moved back with partner and a cat and dog.

I get on well with my dd but I was delighted when she went to uni. We live in the middle of nowhere so uni was a much more interesting place for her to be and I was happy for her and happy I didn't have to give her lifts and feel grumpy about her lying in bed all morning. She's finished uni and lives with a friend in the same city. Fortunately we see her quite often so it's the best of both worlds.

I missed the third and last terribly we both did. The first two boomeranged backwards and forwards for years. The youngest has never returned home. He's made his life with a lovely young woman. He's here this weekend though.

No, I’m not. There’s always that possibly but for now I’m enjoying the peace 😀

No, it's completely understandable to feel this way, after all she is 25 and it's past time or her to get some independence. It's very hard for a young person to start out nowadays so it makes sense they stay at home longer, but I don't think it does them or their parents any good!

It sounds lovely and I know my lot would always find their way home again as well.

You enjoy it. Our youngest had started staying over at her BFs most weekends. Me and DH are enjoying a tidy and peaceful home and I’m enjoying spending time with her in the week more.

I was glad when my DD left home. She was 25 and we’d had many battles about the state of her room and how she’d treated the washing I’d washed/dried/folded and placed on her bed. We’d also paid out for expensive vegetarian, then vegan, food for her.
Fast forward two years and she’s eating meat and keeping her flat tidy. I love her, but I’d never want to share a home with her again.

We're also empty nesters now (DCs mid 20s). One has been back for a few months but gone again.

I love them dearly and enjoy their company and they know there will always be a room here if they need it ... but it is nice to come home from work and the house is exactly how I left it

My mother made it very clear she couldn’t wait to see the back of me. Role on a few decades and she’s angling to move in with me….not happening!

My mother started packing up bits of the kitchen when I told her… it was a great move for both of us, albeit 47 yrs ago!

Thanks. I agree, it’s lovely to come home to tidiness and peace 😃

Of course not. I wouldn’t expect my children to do this regardless.