Anyone with ADHD questioning if they're autistic

[MotherOfRatios]

Hi
I was diagnosed with ADHD three years ago in recent months I've been questioning if I have autism and I'm just wondering if there is anyone with ADHD and autism that can tell me what there symptoms look like?
it's hard online because every time I look I think is it my ADHD?
any help would be appreciated.

Yeah I have the best and most coherent arguments, the wittiest and most sparkling ripostes, the most empathetic and absorbed listeners, the most charming repartee, inside my head at 3am.

But I also tend to have other versions of those conversations, where I/they say this instead of that, or it goes down this, that, or the other track, and I don't always feel I'm really in control of what conversations get replayed or rehearsed, or how.

I guess it's different for everyone?

Yes I wonder too. I've tried an online questionnaire but I would answer the questions very differently now as opposed to ten years ago. I think I've ' socialised' some of my behaviours out of me if that makes sense? It would explain why my life has been a shitshow in so many respects. I'm coping much better now. I'm 50 though. I wish it had happened sooner. So many lost opportunities. 😪

Thanks so much @ClumpingBambooIsALie , that's a very informative reply.

My gut feeling is to agree with you that it makes sense to bundle them all together because there is so much overlap.

But the medication angle had not occurred to me, and that is something to consider. DD's main issue right now is how to juggle things. If she can see more than one thing in her planner, her stress levels go throguh the roof and becomes paralysed. I guess the older she gets, and the heavier the academic load, the more she'd struggle so it may be worth pursuing a diagnosis too.

It would help if the school SENDCO got back to me, as they should be able to advise based on their experience. Have been waiting for a meeting for over two months now, but that's a different matter.

Are you on medication now, and is it helpful?

I'm glad if you found something in there useful; I know things must be very different when it's a child/teen (though I don't have kids, and only know what I read on MN, pretty much) because there's schools and SEN departments and CAMHS and paediatrics and a whole load of other stuff, plus long waits and the whole being-a-teenager thing and the general time-critical feeling of it all… I don't envy you, it must be tricky making these decisions for and with someone who's still developing, has all kinds of big changes happening in the next few years, doesn't have much control over the environments they need to be in, and needs all these people involved.

As it happens I'm still in the process of trying out medication — it's complicated somewhat by the fact I'm bipolar too, and by the fact my local mental health services are about as well-organised as… well… me. So I don't know how it'll go yet!

Sorry for the late reply, yes I work in public affairs so I simply forget the process isn't adhd friendly

I can relate to the rehearsing conversations, as a child I hated loud noises and teachers shouting I would run off and cover my ears, school said it was due to bullying and the fact my home life was peaceful even now noise irritates me unless I'm in control

I also talk to myself and have full conversations with myself and have done since a young age

@ClumpingBambooIsALie - I was thinking to myself, just the other day, that if I was in charge of the world I would offer a trial of ADHD meds to everyone with an autism diagnosis.

I was diagnosed with ADHD first and autism 5 years later. I actually hadn’t realised that I have sensory issues before I started methylphenidate but when it “turned everything down” for me I then fully understood why I’d struggled with busy places and how light sensitive I am. I’m no more organised but far less overwhelmed when I take it.

I feel ‘lucky’ that I got the ADHD diagnosis first, so that I have the medication option, but there are possibly many autistic people who could benefit but just don’t know it.

I hate busy places as I immediately feel hot itchy and sweaty
I have noticed when medicated this feels worse

Yeah, that would've been preferable for me. I went through adolescence and young adulthood collecting diagnosis after diagnosis after diagnosis, and I didn't really want another one.

I don't really think of myself as "having" ADHD on a day-to-day basis; it felt adequately covered by the ASD diagnosis to me, and the ADHD is more of an administratively-necessary designation that I don't feel any personal connection to. ASD feels more me. But I had to play the game — I didn't lie at all in my ADHD assessment, but I knew that I would need to reframe some of the difficulties I've got used to explaining in terms of ASD in a way that's more in line with the way they're talked about with ADHD, e.g. jiggling my leg might be a stim (ASD) or a fidget (ADHD).

I meet criteria, so am allowed to try meds, but it frustrates me that the hoop-jumping is necessary.

Out of interest, having been diagnosed with ADHD first, do you think of yourself more often in terms of ASD or ADHD? or is it both equally for you?

Or, for example, with ASD, I'd get asked about difficulties initiating or switching tasks, or returning to an interrupted task, but in ADHD terms they might ask me about difficulties directing my attention, or doing tasks I find boring. Some of it's the same language, but sometimes they seem to use slightly different terminology for the same thing I'm shit at, or be interested in different aspects of why I can't do the thing, or take a different angle on the underlying mechanism.

Either way I'm still me, whatever professional wordset I'm operating under 🙄😅

Sorry. Total me-rail. I hope some of it is useful in giving an answer to the original question of people's experience of having both diagnoses. An indistinguishable mess, in my case

@ClumpingBambooIsALie - ASD definitely, if I had to pick one or the other that would be it, but also glad I have meds at home so wouldn’t want my ADHD diagnosis taken away 😁

I'm the other way around - was diagnosed with Asperger's 10 years ago and at the time, the psychiatrist did mention that they suspected an ADD (inattentive type) overlap, but they weren't able to diagnose both at the same time (I don't know why).

I'm now in my 40s and I suspect that peri is heightening the ADD symptoms (anxiety, lack of focus etc) and wondering if medication might help, so I may try to pursue the additional diagnosis.

There seems to be far less reluctance now (at least with adults) to diagnose ADHD as a separate condition in those with ASD.

I wonder if eventually most people with autism spectrum disorders will end up with a cluster of diagnoses — I'd probably qualify for sensory processing disorder and mild developmental coordination disorder too, but similarly to executive functioning problems and other ADHD-like symptoms, difficulties with sensory input and coordination have been considered as part of autism from very early on, even though they're not (usually) in the core symptom list and not necessary for a diagnosis.

OMG @MotherOfRatios I've just been hit with a memory of regularly having conversations with myself in the mirror, rehearsing how a conversation might go with a friend. I always assumed this was because I was an only child, and rather lonely, but actually I think it is probably connected to my suspected ASD.
I don't do it out loud anymore, but I do really struggle with new environments / new people and get massively anxious about it, so I tend to "rehearse" beforehand to try and calm my nerves.

I'm an only child

but was never lonely but had conversations with myself

I’ve been wondering the same thing and have actually rejoined MN after a long break to join the ND discussions 😀

I get confused because some of my adhd traits are apparently asd traits too but I’ve never thought it about it as possible asd because I already know I have adhd, if that makes sense!

I’m not sure whether it’s worth having an assessment. One of my dc has asd so you’d think I’d be more knowledgeable!