Were you classed as 'gifted' at school and are you gifted now?

[ofwarren]

I'm hyperlexic, I taught myself to read at 2 years old. One of my earliest memories is me reading stories to the whole class in nursery while the teacher stood there watching and smiling.

Once in primary school is was streamed to two classes above my age because I was so far ahead and then was put into set 1 for everything in secondary school.

Secondary school was a whole other ball game and I crashed an burned, gaining 6 GCSES that were B and C.

I'm now 42 year old woman with no career, no particular gift and at times I actually feel like I'm a bit stupid. I can't accomplish anything and even reading something can't keep mu attention for long these days.

I've read so many similar accounts online.
What happens to autistic people between school and being an adult?
Do we just 'peak' or does life just become too hard?
It's depressing really

@ofwarren

That makes a lot of sense. In workplaces I never got promotion and I've even been disciplined for speaking in an aggressive tone when I didn't even know I was. This was pre diagnosis.

Oh my goodness, the aggressive tone thing has just really put me back in the workplace, this used to be me too. I never ever knew I was using any kind of tone, but was regularly accused of it ☹️

Yes and (after a long and complex career with a lot of ups and downs) yes.

Somehow, I seem to make a poor first impression, and if that's all there is then I get nowhere. If I am given the opportunity to work with people over time then they begin to understand what I can do and work with it. Unfortunately, recruiters and managers tend to fall into the first category rather than the second.

Yes. Started school at 3. Brightest in class. Face never fit and was horribly bullied. Had a massive burnout during a levels. Missed a place at Oxford as didn’t have grades. Good enough to go to good red brick.

University I was actually ok, because I sort of thought “ok I’m middle of the road that’s fine”. Took the pressure off and excelled. Everyone was somewhat shocked when I was ranked 1st in my degree course.

I now have a very good high earning job. I still am prone to very low periods and burnout so I have to be very careful.

I have found networking in work place hard. Still not popular, but it has got easier as I got older. I think as I’ve got older I’m respected more for what I’ve achieved them who I am.

I was a “gifted” child and carried that through to uni performance (2nd in my year at Cambridge - just pipped to the post!). But like a pp has said it hasn’t really carried through to the workplace. I’m a solicitor and whilst I’m doing fine, my more confident white male colleagues are doing better.

I find it hard to work out if that’s because they actually have better social skills than me (I am neurotypical but quite shy) or whether it’s just a reflection of a sexist, classist environment. Probably a bit of both tbh but it’s depressing.

Yep, top of the class all the way through but also bullied all the way though - a reminder that brains and being decent aren't enough in real life when you are a girl who's face doesn't fit.

Until University (a redbrick one famous for Oxbridge rejects (me!) and Hogwards) - then I realised I was a tiny fish in a massive pond. Cue me working hardcore for the first time BUT it was wonderful to be in an enviroment that wasn't hostile and a bit more 'adult'. That is if someone didn't like me I could not be with them, unlike school. And loads of cool people and societies. But It was 3 months of terror yet I came out the other side.

So I guess I'm still 'gifted' since my hyperfocus is my job now and though I didn't get into Oxford still work with them occationally. I guess I realised that you need more than just brains but actual people skills are still a closed book to me.
Also worked in industry for 9 years. Was a horrible surprise when jobseeking facing redundancy that the previous 9 years was essentially a sheltered workshop - being ND and jobseeking is its own shitstorm that no-one on MN really gives a shit about or wants to blame you for it!

Sorry for the rambling - I am aware I am very lucky as I somehow managed to network - sometimes being a minority isn't a disadvantage if people remember you.

They didn't do that sort of thing when I was at primary school I don't think. But if they had, I suspect I'd probably have been on their list. Actually no, I'd have been at the top of the ruddy list. When we did the 11+ I got the highest mark in the school. Still didn't go to grammar though, because there was no girls' grammar at all in our town. Several boys' grammars in the county and only one for girls that was even remotely accessible, and it would have meant a very long bus journey into a different town miles away. Sometimes I wonder whether I did get in, and when my parents got the letter they lied to me. They are both long deceased though so I can't ask them.

All we had at school as a measurement were 'reading cards' that you had to wade your way through, and apparently depending on how far you got, they could ascertain your reading age. I got right through to the end of the box by the time I was 9. They said my reading age was 13 and that's as far as the cards went.

Interesting. I suspect I ‘regulate’ my attention and emotions somewhat differently from how society prefers - diagnosed bipolar but that’s never satisfied me. I was a self taught reader before school and wrote a story for my teacher when I started which triggered a meeting with my parents and the head (early 70s) and from then on I went through school with peers a year older and then two years older. I was expelled at 15 for over exuberance after completing o levels the year before. I’ve been in and out of education ever since and almost always out of a job!

Also an early reader. I sailed through education from primary to PhD. Never had any mates though, till uni. It's the workplace that burns me out. The more 'social' a job, the more I let go of the strings (not of the work, but of the threads linking the people). I found my niche though; I work in the engineering sector, almost entirely with men. The more computer-based the role, the more we are like this

@Ylfa have you ever tried one of the online autism tests to see if you have more traits? They are a good tool to use when first approaching a doctor to ask for diagnosis.
psychology-tools.com/test/autism-spectrum-quotient

Thanks, that was revealing even if it doesn’t seem to be a good fit, but I also wonder about potential ADHD and the impact of childhood adversity. I’m not interested in pursuing a diagnosis, just in knowing myself better. I can understand the value of more formal recognition though.

Oh I forgot this

@Ylfa here is the ADHD test that's most commonly used for preliminary testing. The WHO recommends it.
psychology-tools.com/test/adult-adhd-self-report-scale

Yes and partially.
Not autistic but 4/6 on that test.
Like adhd son I’ve been cushioned and now v successful at work in that I’ve found a niche, but I got there by volunteering first and it’s a faith based charity- ie v hot on inclusion. I’m not sure I’d survive in the wild 😝

I didnt even manage in a faith based charity.

I feel like at a university people are better socialised at talking to and working with someone autistic. But not often autistic plus adhd.

I was labelled ‘gifted’ at primary, and maintained that into about year 9.

GCSE years were really tough! I think the content of them was just too much for me - although I got all A*-B, I certainly didn’t come anywhere near top of the class and some topics just didn’t come naturally to me at all. So, I don’t think ‘gifted’ kids are necessarily gifted, I think maybe they’re fast developers at picking up the basics easily - but, when it gets trickier, everyone else will catch up with them and often surpass them.

To answer the rest of your Q: I chose an ‘easy’ / soft degree, and got a First with Hons at a top uni. I have done well at work, too, but I am miles away from the ‘high-intelligence’ industries like accounting, law, banking, medicine etc, I’ve chosen a career which attracts less-bright people, and so, I do well. I feel like I’ve always been trying to maintain the appearance of success, and live up to the ‘gifted’ label, whilst knowing I am not really gifted at all, and just do a very easy job!

That said, I went to poor quality state school, with huge classes with terrible behaviour issues (not I!). I do wonder how much of adults’ ‘intelligence’ is actually just a reflection of going to amazing private schools with ten kids in their class!

Maybe irrelevant - but interesting - I met a nhs dr recently who had completed her studies in an Eastern European country. She wasn’t ‘gifted,’ didn’t do well at school, and the entry requirements in said country were not high. She passed easily and has come back to work successfully for the nhs. She can’t spell very well, has terrible grammar etc and is not at all cultured. She didn’t gain entry to any British medical courses, but is a successfully dr nonetheless.

The hare and the tortoise.

I was put on the Oxford track at school as was one of the highest achieving students, but had a nervous breakdown which crashed and burned my a-levels. Autism really came to the fore at uni - couldn't make the relationships I needed for the jobs networking later on as they could tell I was different (and didn't want to sleep with the posh lads to go on the skiing trips), and I spent too much time drinking and smoking just to cope with having to live around so many other people. I had to work two jobs plus uni so the milk round grad schemes passed me over for having no leadership experience and not having well-rounded hobbies like sport, orchestra etc (plus they still paper-sifted on the a-level ucas points I got at 18, which made uni feel utterly fucking pointless).

Maybe irrelevant - but interesting - I met a nhs dr recently who had completed her studies in an Eastern European country. She wasn’t ‘gifted,’ didn’t do well at school, and the entry requirements in said country were not high. She passed easily and has come back to work successfully for the nhs. She can’t spell very well, has terrible grammar etc and is not at all cultured. She didn’t gain entry to any British medical courses, but is a successfully dr nonetheless

This is so interesting @DogsAndGin - I've thought for a long time that medical schools in this country are far too restrictive. I know people who got 4 A*s in the sciences who didn't get picked for medicine courses because of quotas, who would have made fantastic doctors. One got into medicine degree after her biochem degree as a last ditch attempt, and is a transplant surgeon now.

I’ve found a sweet spot of being there for long enough to have earned loyalty and I’m now in a post I created to my strengths. Like DS who was diagnosed adhd late I’ve been cushioned- he went unnoticed because I was always 2 steps behind with what he’d most recently lost or forgotten and he was always in tiny classes and I’m cushioned by not having to pay the bills and working in an environment where I can choose to lock myself away when overstimulated.

[quote ofwarren]@Ylfa here is the ADHD test that's most commonly used for preliminary testing. The WHO recommends it.
psychology-tools.com/test/adult-adhd-self-report-scale[/quote]
I've tried this and scored higher than I thought - I don't know if it counts that I can do some of these things if I really force myself to, though, even if I find it very difficult and uncomfortable?

Like @DogsAndGin I was pronounced gifted at primary school. I was hyperlexic, could read far before starting school. A big deal was made of them having to bring books down from the year six classroom for me in Reception, and in the end, they needed to order new books as I'd read them all in Year 1.

We all did a pre-SATS test in year 6 (I believe called a CATS test, though that could be a false memory, or wishful thinking) and my literacy, maths, and reasoning scores were mid-range GCSE standard.

I went on to do well at GCSE (9xA* 2xA) - but then, utterly flunked A-Levels.

The type of thinking I had to do for A-Levels was out of my reach. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me, I'd always been 'the smart one' and then I just wasn't.

Now, I'm 42 - and I'm more logic-smart than knowledge smart (unless you get me on one of my specialist subjects).

Where I do well is that I can think about multiple things concurrently, and I often come to solutions more quickly than others. I can usually find a frame of reference for most problems I'm trying to solve, so overlay past logic on current situations.

Where I do badly is that sometimes I miss completely obvious things, like not realising that 99p each is a better deal than '3-for-£3'...

I learned to read fluently at age 3. I could also write sentences by the time I went to school. I did okay at primary, but secondary was a nightmare for me. I find studying really difficult and left school with a handful of CSEs. No a levels or uni for me. Did my maths and English gcses aged 40. I still find it incredibly difficult to study. I have an okay job, but I'll never reach my full potential.

@SuperLoudPoppingAction

I didnt even manage in a faith based charity.

I feel like at a university people are better socialised at talking to and working with someone autistic. But not often autistic plus adhd.

Thanks- I'm much happier in academia- for the moment anyway.
I think if someone had said to me at 14 'you should be a lecturer' I would have had such a different life.
I do talk a bit about Old Work for my current job though. And still do some friendly faith-based stuff.

This has been a fascinating read. I wasn’t classed as ‘gifted’ but I was bright. I loved learning, and back in the pre-Google dinosaur days school was a very stimulating environment for the curious. I read widely . I had an eidetic memory when I was younger and in secondary there were so many subjects to choose from that I could pick ones that came easily. I had no skills in place for when things got challenging.

I remember hyperfocusing in the local library for a week on study techniques, psychology of learning, exam craft, memory tricks, and speed reading. I created my own shorthand and learned to mindmap (my college notes are hilarious).

I was simultaneously miserable in college but also in my element. I loved the library, and went to all sorts of classes that took my fancy (sometimes instead of my own if they didn’t seem interesting). I wrote essays about whatever my current interest was, drawing links and parallels to the actual topic in question and got high marks for originality.
I burned out a few years into my job, went back to college and failed many times to get a masters, hyperfocused on my dc for the last few years.

I’m not sure that I can’t pull the hyper focus out but that I don’t dare while my dc need me. I’m reluctant to get sucked into to anything. But I’m a pretty useless person otherwise.