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Muslim Mumsnetters

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Things your parents told you was Islamic as a kid but really it's just superstition.

34 replies

anotherlevel · 12/09/2024 17:49

Growing up my mum always used to tell us that if you left your slipper or shoe upside down it would mean you're calling Shaytan into the house and as a kid I always believed it because your mum wouldn't tell you something that is wrong, right. But as I got older I got older, I realised there's nothing that says this is the case and is just superstition. Astarghfirullah. May Allah forgive my mum.

There are others I've also heard like hoovering after maghrib is bad too. But again it's just superstition.

I just wondered if there were any superstitions that you grew up with believing to be part of Islam but actually isn't.

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ForPeaceSake · 12/09/2024 17:55

Folding a corner of the prayer mat to stop the shaytan sitting on it 🤔

anotherlevel · 12/09/2024 18:04

Yes I was told this one too!

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Scirocco · 12/09/2024 21:48

ForPeaceSake · 12/09/2024 17:55

Folding a corner of the prayer mat to stop the shaytan sitting on it 🤔

I have family on my DH's side who do this and I never asked why! I'm going to check with them when I see them next.

anotherlevel · 12/09/2024 22:14

I used to do it until my DH was like what are you doing!

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Shoestalk · 14/09/2024 16:01

Shaytan will wee in ur hair if u don't cover it.
Don't cut ur nails at night.
Shower before noon if ur fasting.
Breaking a plate means u warded off a bigger catastrophe.
Upside-down shoe and prayer mat also.

Batmanisaplaceinturkey · 15/09/2024 12:58

Laughing while reading these because I recognise them all! 😄

anotherlevel · 15/09/2024 13:20

Yes how could I forgot the do not cut your nails after maghrib!

Was anyone else told not to whistle because of a story of some kid or was that just me?

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anotherlevel · 22/09/2024 20:23

Just thought of another one - not to face your bed towards the qibla so that your feet isn't pointed to it.

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Scirocco · 23/09/2024 09:47

anotherlevel · 22/09/2024 20:23

Just thought of another one - not to face your bed towards the qibla so that your feet isn't pointed to it.

That's why we have our bed the way it is! I know it's not got a basis, but I can't sleep that way
... 🤦🏻‍♀️

anotherlevel · 23/09/2024 09:56

@Scirocco Is it true? 🙈

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Scirocco · 23/09/2024 10:24

anotherlevel · 23/09/2024 09:56

@Scirocco Is it true? 🙈

Hanbali and Hanafi scholars consider it disliked because it's felt to be disrespectful re: etiquette of qibla, iirc.

anotherlevel · 23/09/2024 10:38

Scirocco · 23/09/2024 10:24

Hanbali and Hanafi scholars consider it disliked because it's felt to be disrespectful re: etiquette of qibla, iirc.

Ah I see.

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Scirocco · 23/09/2024 11:06

anotherlevel · 23/09/2024 10:38

Ah I see.

I just got it in my head and now my brain won't switch off that way .

anotherlevel · 23/09/2024 11:14

I can understand that.

As kids we were also told to wear a tafeez as protection and as kids you never question it, you accept whatever your parents tell you as being true. So it wasn't until I was older that I found out that it was shirk.

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JustReallyNotHappyWithMyself · 18/10/2024 19:52

ForPeaceSake · 12/09/2024 17:55

Folding a corner of the prayer mat to stop the shaytan sitting on it 🤔

We were told to fold the prayer mat so that Shaytaan doesn't pray on it.....
Erm...don't we want Shaytaan to pray?! So funny!

ForPeaceSake · 19/10/2024 10:31

I know, right? 😁

Another is that the angels won't come in the house where there's a woman with uncovered hair. Or that the shayateen will dance on her head 🤔. Or that its fard to cover your head to read Quran. It's challenging enough to wear hijab in this society, without additional misinformation from within.

WafflesOrIceCream · 05/11/2024 00:21

1-No cutting nails at night.
2-Avoid going out at maghrib(something to do with the jins being out)
3-Fold corner of the prayer mat
4-Don't laugh out loud so much at night.

anotherlevel · 05/11/2024 00:36

WafflesOrIceCream · 05/11/2024 00:21

1-No cutting nails at night.
2-Avoid going out at maghrib(something to do with the jins being out)
3-Fold corner of the prayer mat
4-Don't laugh out loud so much at night.

Re not going out after maghrib, I'm not sure that is a superstition.

islamqa.info/en/answers/125922/when-the-wings-of-the-night-spread-keep-your-children-in-for-the-devils-come-out-at-that-time

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england23 · 06/11/2024 23:22

Hi Muslim Mumsnetters.

I'm not a Muslim but work with some Muslims, some are veiled. I'm keen to know, are Muslims allowed to be friends with non-Muslims?

Are Muslims allowed to be friends with non-Muslims of the opposite sex? Or is this frowned upon?

Do Muslims look down on people who drink alcohol or do they accept it as a difference of opinion.

Best regards.

Scirocco · 07/11/2024 08:04

england23 · 06/11/2024 23:22

Hi Muslim Mumsnetters.

I'm not a Muslim but work with some Muslims, some are veiled. I'm keen to know, are Muslims allowed to be friends with non-Muslims?

Are Muslims allowed to be friends with non-Muslims of the opposite sex? Or is this frowned upon?

Do Muslims look down on people who drink alcohol or do they accept it as a difference of opinion.

Best regards.

Hi - Assalamu alaikum

Being Muslim can cover a wide spectrum of interpretations and extents to which people practise their faith, just like in Christianity and other faiths, so while people can give their own viewpoints, the views of the people you work with may vary. Here are my thoughts...

I'm a Muslim woman who wears hijab. I have female friends from many different faiths and some with no faiths. As a multicultural, multi-faith family, we have family friends and family members who aren't Muslim. If you're a woman who wants to try to make friends with your female colleagues, I'd say give it a shot - as with all cases of trying to make friends, approach people with open minds and try to build rapport - coffee, snack breaks, shared interests, etc.

Relationships between men and women can follow different frameworks in terms of what people feel is appropriate. Islam gives guidance about maintaining an extra degree of restraint in interactions with the opposite sex - partly to reduce risks of crossing boundaries into sexual or romantic relationships. Some people will feel comfortable having professional but friendly relationships, while others may prefer to keep things strictly business. Personally, I work in a pretty male-dominated field, so have lots of male colleagues - Muslim and non-Muslim. I'd say we all get on quite well in professional capacities, and I'm comfortable having positive workplace relations but would not look to have private social media chats or go out 1:1, etc. Some people might feel ok with those things but I wouldn't. If you're a man and your colleagues are women, a positive workplace relationship might look a bit different from if everyone was of the same sex, but it can still be positive - you and they would need to adjust and challenge underlying expectations at times, probably. For example, some cultures and faiths have different approaches to eye contact and physical touch. If you come from or live in a culture where doing things is considered a positive step in building relationships, it might feel like someone is being unfriendly or rejecting if they don't do them and it might feel rude not to do them yourself, but if you live in or come from a culture where these are not considered socially appropriate interactions in building rapport, it can feel invasive and even intimidating if people do them and it might feel rude to do them yourself. As a general rule of thumb, I'd suggest a man hold off on physical contact (even handshakes - there are alternatives) and follow women's leads on what degree of physical contact or eye contact they want. A practising Muslim woman is unlikely to have close male friends but that doesn't mean a positive working relationship can't be established.

Just like any broad demographic group, there'll be huge variations in viewpoints on things like alcohol and how people perceive other people drinking. Personally, I think alcohol is a harmful substance and I don't want to consume it. If someone else chooses to drink it and take the associated risks, that's their choice, just like there are no doubt things I choose to do that another person might think "well, that's not the choice I would make". For example, I enjoy climbing very big hills on which people are known to die each year - a lot of people might choose not to have that as a hobby. Part of respecting diversity and living in a multicultural, multi-faith society is respecting that other people may make different choices about how they live their lives, and recognising that so long as it isn't causing harm to others (eg drink driving), people have that right.

Personally, I would probably feel a bit judgey if someone said they were a practising Muslim but also drank alcohol or ate bacon, because these are matters about which Islam is pretty clear. I would challenge that judginess by reminding myself that a person's journey in their faith is between them and Allah (God - Allah is the Arabic word for God), not for me to judge.

england23 · 07/11/2024 09:30

Morning, and thanks ever so much for your kind response. I'm female, and was asking as we have a fair few Muslims in professional roles where I work.

The company is global and one in which it is normal for senior team members to travel, often multiple nights away in a hotel, alone or with colleagues, and to other countries.

The reality is that alcohol is normal in many business meetings, though I wouldn't say to the point people are drunk, more just that it'd be a normal formality. People are by no means required to drink.

Wondering if anyone has any thoughts on how this might work for Muslim women, should they wish to progress to more senior roles?

Through employee feedback streams we know Muslims feel left out because a lot of socialising happens in pubs or around alcohol. We have social activities that are not alcohol related but don't seem to have much uptake aside from lunch n learn type events held in the office during work hours. It could be that many of these are to do with sport and it's just that people aren't into that particular sport?

If we go for a team lunch or dinner then alcohol will be served and consumed by some people. Short of going somewhere that doesn't permit alcohol (there aren't many), it's hard to know where to turn.

Any thoughts on these most appreciated.

Thanks again and I wish you a good day.

Scirocco · 07/11/2024 10:43

@england23

Thanks for thinking of how to include people from different cultures and faiths!

Probably the best way to ensure you're meeting everyone's needs and preferences would be to include people from across a broad spectrum in planning events and activities. Do you have a social committee or events coordinator type of thing? Maybe ask people what they'd like and help try out different activities? A diverse planning group means lots of opportunities to try new things and can in itself be an attractive thing to encourage people to feel more welcome, even if they don't want to do a particular activity.

Many Muslims are very family orientated and would prefer to spend evenings, weekends, etc with family - there's a lot of emphasis on looking after and spending time with loved ones, which people might feel is at odds with multiple late-night events, long team-building weekends, etc. Most Muslim women with families will have caring responsibilities - and getting childcare or adult care to cover for lots of events is an added stress. People might be more able and keen to attend day-time, lunch events.

In my experience, women of most cultures tend to be less interested than men in sports events. That's not to say no women like sports, but just that if you want an event to appeal to a broad spectrum, a sports event might not capture enough interest. I'd rather sit and do my taxes than watch most sports, and I hate doing my taxes. Add the dynamic of excitable men, potential concerns about attire (eg some women might not want to watch an event in which participants are wearing short or tight clothing - not out of judgement of people but out of where our boundaries may be with regards lowering our gaze), etc, and it's maybe not got the broad appeal that could reliably capture interest across multiple demographic groups.

There are lots of cafes, restaurants, etc where alcohol isn't a big focus, so you could look for recommendations for places and try a few. Maybe put out a call for restaurant suggestions. The main challenge I have when eating out isn't the obviously labelled alcohol or meat products, it's the 'hidden' alcohol and things like gelatine - the alcohol in food dishes that isn't clearly labelled, the gelatine in desserts, etc. What I really appreciate from an events planner is having allergens, meat products like gelatine, and alcohol clearly labelled on menus, and ideally pre-circulating a menu so people can ask any questions in advance. There have been times I've attended events and there's been nothing at all I could eat - eg the veggie menu option contains alcohol, the chips are cooked in non-veggie fats/oils, the desserts have non-veggie glazes... If I know in advance, I can speak with the planner and/or the venue and hopefully find a solution. That's also helpful for anyone with allergies or who's on medication that means they can't eat certain things.

If people are staying away from home, with colleagues, it might be worth asking how that can be made more welcoming and supportive. Are the chosen hotels ones where women feel safe? If the hotels have lots of parties or are in red-light districts (yep, that happened to me once - and I think a lot of women wouldn't feel ok about that) then it might be an idea to find an alternative hotel. Are people limited to socialising in bars or people's rooms, or are there restaurants/cafes/open spaces to sit and chat? I don't want to sit in a male colleague's hotel room or have them in mine - that would cross a personal boundary for me - but I enjoy talking with my male colleagues in professional and more public settings. If people are looking for social activities while away, maybe ask if people would be interested in city tours or local events that coincide with trip dates. Again, a social planning committee or group chat could be useful and could reinforce that events should be within certain professional limits - eg I would not be impressed if a bunch of junior colleagues decided to use a business trip to go to a strip club, when they're representing our workplace (although I know some companies are ok with that, and that's up to an individual company and individual people to decide where they want to set the limits on professional conduct and whether people are considered to be representing the company at all times during a business trip).

A shift away from a work social/networking approach focused on partying can be a challenge, but can also be really rewarding. I think we have a pretty good balance where I work, because we have a diverse planning group that actively seeks suggestions from everyone. We've tried activities we'd probably never have tried otherwise, learned more about everyone's cultures and interests, and got to know each other as we all are, rather than as we try to 'fake it' in uncomfortable environments.

england23 · 07/11/2024 22:49

Hello and thanks for taking the time to reply. Smile

ForPeaceSake · 09/11/2024 10:30

I used to be told that the voice is awra. There's no evidence for that and it wouldn't make sense. I wonder if that's the thinking in Afghanistan atm. But we know from the sunnah that women spoke to men, even the wives of Rasulullah just in a very businesslike manner.

anotherlevel · 06/01/2025 13:20

I was wondering if someone could help me with this as I can't find anything to support it.

I'm not sure how or where I heard it but always thought that there was a Hadith or it is disliked to make food wait for you. For example, if you have served up food and it's on the table but you don't eat it straight away and continue to do something else (excluding praying). And that you should wait for food.

Has anyone else heard of this and if so, where can I find evidence of this?

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