Live webchat with Esther Rantzen, Tues, 19 Jan, 2-3pm

[GeraldineMumsnet]

We're very pleased to welcome Esther Rantzen as our next webchat guest on Tues 19 Jan at 2pm.

Esther is chair of The Family Commission, the national inquiry into the extended family and the support it needs in the 21st century, in partnership with 4Children.

She became a household name as the presenter of That's Life, and has presented other series such as How to Have a Good Death about palliative care, as well as appearing on I'm a Celebrity and Strictly.

She is the president of ChildLine, has a CBE for services to children and is standing as an Independent candidate for Luton South in the general election.

As usual, please post any advance questions here if you can't make it on the day. And, last but not least, please abide by our webchat rules.

My son called childline about bullying, he is ten with Aspergersand has been bullied so badly over the years that at one point he had shoe shaped bruises on his legs from when 12 children attacked him. But becuase he is aggressive himself, as a part of his SN,it is hard to get anything done.
I am hoping to get him a palcement at a specialist ASperger'sunit in 2010 when he hits comp level, but places are massively oversubscribed. Until then I am fearfulof what could happen, and indeed what might happen to me as a child told his dad ds1 hurt him (was a lie) and I was threatened,loudly and nastily, in the play yard. I have also had dads banging on my door and shouting at me.

Childline's advice tods1totalk to Mum wasright, but I am at my wits end myselfwith it all, Ican't HE becuase of his SN and how it affects him and it'svery unpleasant. if there were anywhere at primary levelI could move him to I would like a shot but there is nowhere appropriate locally.

fabisgoingtobefab

That's why our counsellors often find bullying calls so difficult, because anything I suggest may be something you have already tried.
Try writing to the Chair of Governors. Suggest to your child that he/she can ring ChildLine 0800 1111, it's free and confidential. There is a fab charity called The Red Balloon which recovers children who have been so badly bullied they have been excluded, they are immensely successful, I would say that even if I wasn't a Patron. Also there are anti-bullying experts attached to LEA's, I know a brilliant one I could consult on your behalf.
One last fact. One of the most successful British business women I know was appallingly badly bullied for years. You can survive. But there's no reason why you should have to.

I have to go and get the kids from school now.

Maybe next time MNHQ you could ask ER to come in earlier so we don't have to leave before the chat is finished?

Thanks again ER.

(My own child is a non-agressive & very compliant autistic who has experienced aggression from mainstream children.)

In mainstream children, agressive behaviour can, too often be due to a lack of emotional intelligence & vocabulary. What do you think should the goverment do to address this lack of emotional education?

'People like us feel very left out...unless we're on benefits or elderly we do feel we're subsidising those that are and its hard, very hard.'

And some of us on carersallowance feel constantly targetted by comments that make us feel bad, I know most don't mean forcarers /the disabled etc but being forced toclaim is no fun either. People (on MN) want the jobless etc to be made to workand are happy to see that happen by deptrivation if needs be- and then there are those of us sat in the middle with no options scared what might happen to us. Dh was made redundant last year, is retraining now and working PT but I have actually had to block most MN threads from sight because I was getting so scared by the sheer numbers of people wanting to see people without work a lot poorer than them. I don't really fancy being homeless which would be likely.

I would gratefully trade my boys SN for the ability to work.
Or at least have it acknowledged by politicians that carers are not the same as those who choose not to work.
Sorry Esther

cocolepew and cakeywakey

Yes, I'm still very involved with ChildLine and always will be.

Esther, how is your daughter who suffered from ME? My friend, who has recently had a baby, has suffered for several years now, and at times it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. What helped your daughter in her recover?

giraffescantwalkinthesnow

Nobody with a criminal record for offences against children, or other serious crimes, should work with children or vulnerable adults, so I'm in favour of CRB checks.

But not, not, not having to have 12 CRB checks in 2 years, like a doctor friend of mine. And not, not, not, to be prevented from work you love and are good at because of some rumour or smear that happens to have been recorded on a police computer, but has no grounding in fact.

And why shouldn't granny take a photograph of her grandson in a nativity play, or in a swimming pool. Sorry, my blood pressure's rising dangerously. I wanted my picture taken in Luton when some kids were playing in the background and the photographer said he wasn't allowed to. I said yes he was, when he was with the President of ChildLine. I can get quite Anne Robinson-ish when I'm roused.

Other than the standard government equality measures, I consider that equality will only have been achieved when disabled children are able to access services and facilities that their able friends may take for granted & WITHOUT having to ask for it.

What do you think would be the biggest & most important step in social change for the inclusion of disabled children & adults & their families?

bluesky

The lightning process, it may not work for everyone, but it worked brilliantly for my daughter who had been ill for 14 years. And for others who have been in touch with me. Give your friend my love.

atlantis

If you trust your independent MP's judgement, yes, and if he or she has life experience and skills which would assist the debates and decisions, yes, and, of course, if there is a hung parliament, yes indeed.

Just a warning that Esther has to finish up soon.

Thank you, Esther, for coming on Mumsnet and thanks to everyone who has taken part. But please don't rush! You can stay as long as you have time for.

Thanks for your reply - I agree the whole photo taking thing is maddness! Don't let your BP get too high - ask Justine for a cuppa and a biccie! Oh and come and visit the Glasgow base again when I don't have swine flu!

So if there was a hung parliament which side would you be on, because if it's labour then a lot of people I know living there would not vote for you.

lulumama

Hillel said "If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for me, what am I? If not now, when?"

Tough advice, but worth taking.

So sorry I logged on so late in the day, I had a very long meeting, (long but imporant!), next time I'll be earlier, off to Luton now, so thank you so very much for brilliant questions, and comments. Loved meeting you in cyber space. Enjoy your day, and your children!
xxx
Esther

Thanks Esther and bye [smile

thanks Esther.

OMG i missed her

But she did answer half my question

i think i love you esther

thank you xxxxxxxx

Would love to have her come back again.

Come back Esther, for a chat about anything, tis a fun place to hang round if you have spare time.

Hellooooo....can anyone see my posts? Do I exist?

Can't believe she ignored me!

Gone slightly off her now.

She didnt answer my question either,,,, im not worried, i enjoyed what she did have to say!!!!

She didn't answer my question about if she wated to be my children's honourary grandmother but I think she tried to concentrate on sensible questions. Not saying anyone who didn't get an answer wasn't asking sensible tings - just talking about mine, and she did answer a couple of questions/points I posted.