Naomi Wolf: live webchat TODAY, Thursday 6 September, 12pm to 1pm

[RachelMumsnet]

Naomi Wolf is joining us for a live webchat on Thursday 6 September at 12 noon. Naomi's latest book, Vagina - A New Biography, has attracted major media attention this month and we're delighted she's joining us to tell us more about the book and answer your questions.

Described as 'exhilarating and groundbreaking', Vagina combines cultural history, physiology and personal memoir to explore the role of female desire and how it affects female identity, creativity and confidence.

Naomi Wolf is author of seven books including the bestseller, The Beauty Myth. She travels regularly to speak about gender equality and social justice. She lives in New York and is working towards a doctorate at New College, Oxford University.

Please post your question to Naomi in advance, or set the date in your diary to join us this Thursday at midday to chat to Naomi 'live'.

BOF :) :) :)

@NormaStanleyFletcher

Would all of these positive feedback/hormones from the vagina also be present if orgasming through oral sex or masterbation, or is PIV necessary?

EXCELLENT question! All of these good chemicals are boosted through masturbation to orgasm as well and oral sex. I am hearing amazing things from lesbian readers of the book who are saying that they understand their own different responses now including emotional responses to different kinds of stimulation -- clitoral or penetrative etc. So you don't need a penis around ...

Naomi - just as women have made huge inroads into the professional world, but men have not on the whole stepped up to seek equality on the domestic / childcare front, women have made huge leaps in demanding sexual fulfullment. The "lie back and think of England" thinking may still exist, but most women know about orgasms, vibrators, sexual fulfillment, even if it is only a theoretical knowledge.

So, just as to achieve equality in coupledom, men need to step up and assume their responsibilities for cleaning the loo and making the kids' dental appointments, the sexual fulfillment of women requires men stepping up and responding to women appropriately?

And writing about the neuroscience behind the vagina is yet another way to put the onus on women?

If a third of women don't have sexual desire and it is also reported that 1 in 4 women experience a relationship that is abusive......there may very well be come correlation there. And I would say that the 1 in 4 is vastly underestimated especially if we put that in line with the porn culture and the prevailing attitudes to "every hole is a goal" bla bla

A lover is usually 'dismissive' or 'disrespectful' because of that - i.e. shit man, shit sex.

The emphasis, or could be construed as pressure, on the biology, I don't think is empowering at all. It is quite the opposite - putting the blame firmly on the women, when actually you are not touching upon WHY 1/3 of women don't have sexual desire. That used to be me, then I realised I was married to a twat. I didn't need to know how my clitoris was attached to something bla bla......I just needed to be not abused and have a respectful man.

@IawnCont

Greythorne My question was serious also. I want to know if Ms. Wolf identifies with the cream laden, sickly custard cream (surely the vagina of biscuits) or the more phallic chocolate finger.

I like them both. No such thing as a bad biscuit.

Dear Ms Wolf,
I read this article your wrote.
www.thesundaytimes.co.uk/sto/newsreview/article1116389.ece?shareToken=e42ca368737335aecef1510ad18b1517

Do you think the sexlives and moods of lesbians could improve, if they smelled the armpits of horny men more often?

So are you saying that the third of women who say they don't experience sexual desire are wrong? Or that they're abnormal? What would you say to these women?

@Greythorne

Naomi - just as women have made huge inroads into the professional world, but men have not on the whole stepped up to seek equality on the domestic / childcare front, women have made huge leaps in demanding sexual fulfullment. The "lie back and think of England" thinking may still exist, but most women know about orgasms, vibrators, sexual fulfillment, even if it is only a theoretical knowledge.

So, just as to achieve equality in coupledom, men need to step up and assume their responsibilities for cleaning the loo and making the kids' dental appointments, the sexual fulfillment of women requires men stepping up and responding to women appropriately?

And writing about the neuroscience behind the vagina is yet another way to put the onus on women?

I totally agree that many of the women who lose interest in sex do so because they are mistreated by the men they are with. The autonomic nervous system science shows just how when a man is abusive, insulting, threatening it harms women on a daily physical and sexual level. I have a thorough chapter which has been called a revolutionary call for the transformation of how men treat women which makes the case to men that they must respect women on all levels if they are to have any happiness or sexual pleasure for themselves in their homes. One reason this new data is not well known is that the 'solution' for understanding women's wellbeing in this way depends not on a pill but on women's treating themselves well and men treating women well.

Yes, what were the paramenters used in the study into the impact of rape on the brain? How did they define non-violent and violent rape? Or did they look at what was criminally classified as aggrivated rape vs non-aggrivated rape?

@StewieGriffinsMom

How do you define "non-violent rape" because I have never ever heard a feminist use that term. Rape is, by definition, violence. It can be accompanied by other forms of physical violence but the act of rape is always violent.

The idea that there is a difference between violent rape and non-violent rape is a rape myth.

See below, I said there is no such thing as a nonviolent rapeand my 'The Traumatized Vagina' chapter goes further than anything I have ever read to put together all of the latest data on how lastingly damaging in new ways we have not understood, any kind of rape or sexual abuse is to women, and I am glad to hear that prosecutors and lawyers representing victims are using that chapter in their aim to put rapists away.

@MooncupGoddess

So are you saying that the third of women who say they don't experience sexual desire are wrong? Or that they're abnormal? What would you say to these women?

I am not saying they are wring or abnormal. I am reporting not making my own value judgment that many of these women, and the ones who don't reach orgasm in sex when they want to, would like it to be otherwise; and many of these women who have read my book, whatever their sexuality, have said that they understand their own desire and anatomy better and are feel much more in charge of their own pleasure.

I hope all those rapey men in the Occupy movement read your book and realise they are actually missing out on great sex by being mean. If only they just knew, it could transform everything!

Naomi
What do you think about the huge success of Fifty Shades of Grey?

I can't quite put my finger on it, but all this 'traumatized vagina" thing makes me very squirmy. I realise you are trying to reclaim the word, and all that goes along with that, but it just doesn't sit right. Is it just me??

Is it that you are isolating one part of my womanhood for scrutiny when I am much more than a vagina?

Yes and if we let them know that the more housework a man does, the more sex he gets, they'll just abolish patriarchy completely won't they BoF?

Job done.

Please can we come back to your claim on Newsnight that victim anonymity is a cause of the 6% conviction rate? How does that work, because it goes against everything I have heard from rape victims and those who work with them. Victim anonymity is usually considered to be a vital condition in allowing victims to report.

I am still a bit open mouthed at the letter, for which I see you express regret, you haven't been on my radar since The Beauty Myth. What happened to you? How will you regain credibility?

Also, for those 1/3 of women reading your book with no sexual desire, is there the danger that you are encouraging them to take the blame for their lack of sexual desire and try and work it out with their (possibly) abusive partner?

@ethelb

Yes, what were the paramenters used in the study into the impact of rape on the brain? How did they define non-violent and violent rape? Or did they look at what was criminally classified as aggrivated rape vs non-aggrivated rape?

The studies (see Rellini and Meston for instance) don't deal with the law at all they deal with what women self-report as sexual assault or rape as they define it. And they saw that a group of women who have rape or sexual abuse in their pasts, even long ago, can suffer lasting changes to their autonomic nervous system response affecting how they react to erotic videos and even exercise. This was important finding to me as a supporter of rape victims since so many women I have counselled say that years after a rape or incest experience, even with a loving partner and after years of talk therapy, they still can't reach orgasm often. Knowing the physical affects - the ANS is central to reaching orgasm -- helps us bring better therapies to rape survivors and helps us understand better that ANY rape injures women on multiple levels that prosecutors and society often now cannot see.

I see she is pointedly ignoring the questions about her promulgation of rape myths.

@mcmooncup

Also, for those 1/3 of women reading your book with no sexual desire, is there the danger that you are encouraging them to take the blame for their lack of sexual desire and try and work it out with their (possibly) abusive partner?

Certainly not -- I think you will find if you get a chance to read Vagina that the opposite is the case. In fact many readers have said they left abusive or disrespectful partners after reading my book. It is about respect as the brain-vagina connection.

I know what you mean mcmooncup. I am not squirmy about the word vagina at all... But I must admit that I suspected for some time that the book title was thought up by Chris Morris.
That's no reflection on Naomi though, it's probably just me.

So are you advocating daily masturbation for all women to keep us happy and confident?

Is this what you do?