To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

[doubleshotespresso]

So some close friends (who married in church), but now claim to be atheist are holding a naming ceremony for their 8 month old first baby in an hotel.....

The invitation is beautiful with a map, timings "event closes at 11pm"?

The gift list ranges from £30-to £300, all items for the mother, cosmetics, trinkets, jewellery, pampering breaks, personalised hand-bound stationery and photo albums...

Anybody know the drill for these naming ceremonies? Are we supposed to guess a gift for the baby? Or just congratulate the mother for deciding on a name?

I have read this a dozen times and am staggered beyond belief-DP read it and fell into hysterics....

My gut tells me to go along with Jo Malone scented nappies or something.

Somebody please tell me this is not normal?!?!?!

[HawaiianSunset12]

By the way, are you the author of this thread:

//www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1778460-to-feel-miffed-at-friend-with-new-baby

Because if so, I certainly wouldn't be going and spending that sort of money.

[forevercloudy]

How cheeky!

My thoughts exactly HawaiianSunset12!

[FryOneFatManic]

HawaiianSunset12 Naming ceremony seems to be a way of having a formal "welcome to the world" for a child instead of a christening or other religious ceremony, especially for those not religious.

Didn't bother, myself. I don't recall actually having any sort of party.

[MumnGran]

Quite the worst thing I have heard of anyone doing, in terms of ordering gifts they are not entitled to.
A "naming day" is the non-religious equivalent of a christening .... at which people buy gifts FOR THE BABY, if they feel so inclined.

I would be sending the gift list back when you RSVP, with a polite note saying you intend to buy a gift for the child.

[louschmoo]

How bizarre! And I say that as someone ho doesn't have a problem with gift lists at weings etc. But I've never heard of this for a baby-naming or christening.
As they are good friends and usually reasonable I'd give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they've gone temporarily mad. Go, enjoy the do (souns like it might be nice) and take the gift you've already bought. Time will tell if the magic of childbirth has permanently altered their personalities...

[wigglesrock]

What the sweet fuck? I'd be tempted to send a note saying "catch yourself on" but I know that's a bit awkward for you.

Either stick with your gift (lovely btw) or donate to a charity - buy a goat, a year of school lunches for a child.

But I'd have to go to the ceremony, I couldn't resist a nosy.

[SirBoobAlot]

I reckon she's a MNer, and is now reading this thread laughing hysterically, and the real invitation will come soon.

I hope.

[Concreteblonde]

I like the idea of the tackiest sleb endorsed 'Get yer body back' fitness DVD

It's GOT to be a windup surely ??????

[flowery]

That is incredibly rude, just unbelievable.

Did the couple only have a small wedding and they are seeing this as an opportunity to have the wedding reception they never had? Just trying to think of an explanation for this type of 'do' for a baby and the gift list for the mother....

I wouldn't go, and I would send the lovely present you've bought for the baby.

[FryOneFatManic]

Flowery Seems they had a tasteful wedding organised by a wedding planner, so not exactly small.

I noticed the earlier comment that perhaps the wedding planner kept their excesses to a minimum, so perhaps with no planner for the naming ceremony, those excesses have come to the fore.

But even if you're making up for a small wedding, surely you'd request gifts for the baby? After all, the baby is the REASON for a naming ceremony. It's just so odd and grabby.

[CrowsLanding]

I cant believe what Im reading. How incredibly rude.

I would go would be calling or texing with something along the lines of ' Thank you for the invite we recieved it today and would be honoured to attend your dc naming ceremony, The Joke gift list enclosed was hilarious and give us a giggle, Thanks again and see you soon'.

Have you spoken to anyone else who has recieved one?

[Snazzywaitingforsummer]

I can understand a naming ceremony as not everyone is keen on or comfortable with a religious ceremony, and if you want to celebrate welcoming your baby into your circle of family and friends, you should be able to do it as a secular thing. But the whole 'till 11pm', gifts for mum (poor dad who doesn't get a look in either) thing is ridiculous.

OP, I'll say it again - you MUST go and report back. Think of it as research for MN. You'll be doing participant observation on new and disturbing social trends.

[flowery]

Oh yes I just saw the bit about classy wedding with wedding planner.

Hmm. Nope, can't think of any reason for this at all. None. I'm out. And would have to think of some way of raising it with them if they were good friends.

[waltermittymissus]

Tbh I would respond and say

"Thank you for the lovely invitation. Unfortunately though, I've already bought Baby Waldo a gift as I thought it was the baby who got gifts at the naming ceremony, not the mum. I'm mortified at being so out of touch! But I'll bring that along anyway and you and I can have a nice lunch somewhere down the line :)"

[mosuzu]

WTAF how rude and grabby!

We had a naming ceremony, gifts were for the DC's and ranged from £5-£50 if guest wanted to, it certainly wasn't expected.

I'm amazed.

[curmit]

1: I don't see the point in 'Naming Ceremonies', either you are religious
and you Christen your child, or you aren't and you don't! Christenings aren't about congratulating the parents and gift-giving, people usually already do this when the baby is born.

2: The fact that this celebration ends at 11pm (?!) seems to say even more that it's all about them and very little to do with their child.

Surely it's a joke!

[LemonBreeland]

I agree with others that if you feel you must go to the ceremony then take the gift for the baby and don't get anything from 'the list'. I would not make any explanation for it either.

[curmit]

p.s. people who've had naming ceremonies: no offence! :)

[claudedebussy]

i'm sure you have some very important prior arrangement though.

and give the baby gift.

i've never heard of anything so ridiculous.

[VodkaRevelation]

Take the gift you have bought. No need to apologise for already having bought it. The day is for the baby not the mother. V greedy!

[flowery]

"if you feel you must go to the ceremony then take the gift for the baby and don't get anything from 'the list'"

Hopefully everyone who goes will do that and the mother will be hugely embarrassed when she realises her pampering breaks and jewellery are not forthcoming...

[Sleep404]

Been to lots of naming ceremonies. Never once been given a gift list. She is taking the piss. Ignore, but go and enjoy her fancy hotel food. That will teach her.

[SlowJinn]

I like the idea of a tacky z-list celebrity exercise DVD for the mum, too, excellent idea.

I thought baby showers were grabby and rude, this is just gobsmacking.

[Sleep404]

Curmit, naming ceremonies are a cultural thing. In West Africa they predate the introduction of Christianity. Now that most traditional religions are in the minority in West Africa, they are a combination of tradition and a religious (usually Christian) ceremony.
The elders name the baby and pray for the baby. It's also a chance for the extended family to meet the baby. Presents (either for the baby or for mum) have absolutely nothing to do with it.

[Oblongata]

Could they have been talked into this by an enterprising events planner, who's trying to drum up business by inventing a New Thing?
It does sound a bit out of character. Perhaps things are ropey what with their first baby and someone has taken advantage of them a little.