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Original poster

To be miffed at "Gift list for mother of the baby" enclosed in *Baby naming ceremony* invitation?

992 replies

doubleshotespresso · 12/06/2013 23:38

So some close friends (who married in church), but now claim to be atheist are holding a naming ceremony for their 8 month old first baby in an hotel.....

The invitation is beautiful with a map, timings "event closes at 11pm"?

The gift list ranges from £30-to £300, all items for the mother, cosmetics, trinkets, jewellery, pampering breaks, personalised hand-bound stationery and photo albums...

Anybody know the drill for these naming ceremonies? Are we supposed to guess a gift for the baby? Or just congratulate the mother for deciding on a name?

I have read this a dozen times and am staggered beyond belief-DP read it and fell into hysterics....

My gut tells me to go along with Jo Malone scented nappies or something.

Somebody please tell me this is not normal?!?!?!

OP posts:
raisah · 13/06/2013 04:26

Greedy & grasping. They have modelled the event on a wedding, so formal reception, gift list & posh invites. Far better to have banked the money spent on the reception in a savings account for the baby.

Put £10-20 in an envelope with a leaflet for a savings account and job done. Greedy idiots.

spiderbabymum · 13/06/2013 04:36

I find it obscene

Could anyone be more materialistic ?

I would probably feel the need to say something .......

It's just so misguided

I would find myself wondering about her sanity

spiderbabymum · 13/06/2013 04:38

As for go or not ....very tricky

Probably I would go

But would bring something small and prob not on the list

Sunnysummer · 13/06/2013 04:42

YANBU, this is crazyShock But sounds like you'll still have to get something from the lost, or if you really can't face it, then get something lovely for the baby, they can't be too frustrated!

spiderbabymum · 13/06/2013 04:42

Oh and obviously my present would be for the baby

FairPhyllis · 13/06/2013 05:29

They are either socially clueless and have totally got the wrong end of the stick about how christening type events work by modelling it on a posh wedding, or they are grasping beyond belief.

Didn't they have a naming ceremony planner? Grin

MusicalEndorphins · 13/06/2013 05:31

I would go and give the presents that you have already purchased for the baby.

CinnabarRed · 13/06/2013 05:53

I would go but take a gift for the baby instead.

Lazyjaney · 13/06/2013 05:56

PFB Syndrome on speed. I'd be unavailable that weekend, say I'd already bought something and post it on. If you go you will have to play their game or offend them, so better to not be there.

Josie1974 · 13/06/2013 06:06

I would go (for the reasons you've said you feel you should go), but take the present you've already got for the baby. Ignore the list!!!

If they're genuinely nice then hope it's some sort of bizarre aberration that they'll be embarrassed of when they realise the social faux pas they've made!! Unless they're truly bonkers who would honestly challenge someone on not buying a present from a gift list?!!

scaevola · 13/06/2013 06:12

Well, they aren't having a Christening, so the norms for that sort of event don't apply. And there isn't a settled tradition in UK of what happens at naming ceremonies.

So whilst I would fulminate against an sort of 'gimme' list, for baby or any other family member for a Christening, I think anything goes when you choose a non-trad event.

Personally, I think unsolicited gist lists are tacky regardless of event. I'm usually a lone voice on MN "because it's so practical", and this doesn't actually strike me as worse than any other in terms of what this family has done. Their taste in choice to items to put on the list is also not something I share either.

Go, if you like them. Go off list if you want to (that's not usually recommended on MN even when you don't like what's on the list). Or don't go.

exoticfruits · 13/06/2013 06:38

I would suddenly 'remember' a previous engagement, that you can't get out of, and decline the invitation.

Carolra · 13/06/2013 07:01

I think it's perfectly acceptable to go and say you'd already bought a gift before the list arrived. Plenty of people do this for weddings and if they're offended by your thoughtfulness then they're not really friends.... I'd definitely go for the ceremony and a drink but then I'd probably make excuses and go home for an early night... Don't you dare buy anything off that list when you already purchased something special for the baby!

ZillionChocolate · 13/06/2013 07:16

You could buy mum a copy of Debretts.

middleagedspread · 13/06/2013 07:24

You must go, if only so that you can describe the whole event for the amusement of MN. I wonder if you'll get a 'naming ceremony' favour?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 13/06/2013 07:48

This is what happens when being grabby for any event becomes acceptable.

When people began to feel that it was ok to have gift lists and direct requests for cash etc for their weddings, this was always going to be the end result.

If you can tell people what to get you for one big event - why not all of them? Normalise gift lists and cash poems and you see it bleed through to other events.

This is not the first of these threads I've read recently. I've read at least half a dozen more. Birthdays, christenings, the lot.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty · 13/06/2013 07:50

Meant to add - it would appear that we may be at the beginning of a shift in tradition/culture in this country so we may as well get used to it. I think it's going to become the done thing within a generation.

pigletmania · 13/06/2013 07:54

That is grabby and rude and not normal, gifts if people choose to give are for the baby. I would just get te baby something nice

DoodleAlley · 13/06/2013 07:57

I think your presents sound beautiful and I would be overjoyed to receive anything so thoughtful.

Go because the friendship is important to you, show grace and mark it down to an error of judgement and take the presents and explain if you feel the need that you bought them before getting the list.

These things are better not dwelt on if you want to stay friends.

pigletmania · 13/06/2013 07:57

Op just give your lovely gifts and ignore, I am sure others will do the same

beginnings · 13/06/2013 08:02

While I'm totally with Snazzy as I REALLY want to know a) if anyone shows up and b) what the event is like, I would be developing a serious case of D+V on the morning of the event. Classic wimps way out that works every time.

Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. And I've heard some pretty ridiculous things.

PaleHousewifeOfCumbriaCounty · 13/06/2013 08:20

Hot forks sounds dangerous.

hamilton75 · 13/06/2013 08:21

Wow, so grabby.

You have to feel a bit sorry for the baby with parents like that Grin

Kikithecat · 13/06/2013 08:28

Whatever next! (That's oldy speak for FFS).

travellingwilbury · 13/06/2013 08:28

Do you think there is any chance that the dh has done this in some insane misguided nonsense of wanting her to know how special and wonderful he thinks the mother of his child is ?

Would still be really shit but at least only one of them is grabby .

I just can't imagine seemingly otherwise normal people would behave like this . Especially if the wedding wasn't weird and grabby .

Good luck though . I would stick to what you have bought , only sadness is you won't see her open it up . Maybe put it in a Harvey Nichols bag for added excitement ;)