Omg such anality from pil. Come and share your anal behaviour stories (lighthearted)

[ledkr]

We are with pil at present and they are very sweet but so bloody uptight about everything.
Bil has been away for a week so he left car with pil so that it "wasn't left in the street" it has a steering lock on and fil takes it for a drive each day! The car is an old banger worth about two hundred quid.
Kids can't even eat a banana without a table cloth,mat and plate
Leaving the house to walk to shops is a major ordeal. Costs hats gloves change of shoes everything switched off at the wall last minute run upstairs for wallets. I could have been there and back.
So I'm asking you to entertain me with similar stories to help me through the day.

[Willowme]

My pil are like this too, so regimented, they eat the same things at the same time on a particular day, Sunday eve at 6pm for example is salad sandwich time, Friday eve at 5.15pm is chips and salad. Sunday & Saturday lunch is 12.15pm - thats breakfast to me!

If we are visiting on sunday at 6 we do not get offered tea or sandwiches as we are not normally there at that time. They are that set in their ways my DH can predict where they are at any given time of the day everyday.

It does my head in and DH can't see what the problem is!

[GlaikitFizzog]

My uncle once hoovered during Christmas dinner because my little brother 4 at the time had dropped a bit of bread! And it was freezing because he kept running the heating off. We were sat there with our coats on and he still didn't take the hint!

[Inaflap]

Oh yes to the curtain shutting. The minute it is gloaming shut goes the curtains. Unfortunately DS 1 has got this habit from her now. And a thing about slippers. She goes on and on about slippers. I am partial to them myself but if the kids don't want to wear them so what. She also has a habit of taking the entire biscuit tin with her. Its the size of a cake tin and i had to tell her 'no' last time we went on holiday. She's diabetic, my son's diabetic we do not need a bloody great tin of biscuits! These are all minor things and I know I do things that drive her potty.

[JellicleCat]

Gin for gin and tonic was always measured in a little metal measure thingy kept for the purpose. He was a bit appallled when I just glugged some in the glass. He wasn't mean, it was just "what you did".

He also had a box of bits of used string, all neatly tied. Having been brought up with it I thought this was normal until my dh pointed out how funny it was.

[RandallPinkFloyd]

My mum turns her router off at the wall when she's not using it. She's in her 50's for crying out loud!

I once offered to wash up for xpil's. I didn't make the mistake again.

I washed, xh stood and chatted to me whilst wiping the work tops and drying the big things. All lovely and normal; or so I thought.

They both stood in the doorway staring, their eyes drilling into the backs of our heads! Every time I changed the water they exchanged bizarre glances.

When we'd finished all the big stuff was put away and just the plates, cutlery and glasses left neatly to drain.

They actually sneered then barged passed us sniggering to each other about how we couldn't be seriously going to "leave them like that"

[FannyFifer]

My DS has asthma because he doesn't wear slippers, apparently.
Thanks mil.

[RandallPinkFloyd]

Recarge that's hilarious! But only because it's all too familiar.

Everything is such a big project, their idea of nipping somewhere is very different to mine!

[DollyTwat]

waves to ledkr

Some very funny stories here

My DF drives me insane. I've been on holiday with him twice and will never go again. He insisted on cooking breakfast but at the time he was awake, so woke my dc up to tell them they could have one but had to have it NOW. No reason he couldn't have waited. So two tired grumpy dc

Then he'd moan that we needed milk etc and he'd been waiting for us to be ready rather than just going to the shop.

He refused to let me drive but moaned about doing all the driving

At Christmas he insisted that cheese could only be eaten in the dining room. It was like cheesegate. Everyone had to go and eat cheese on their own in another room if they wanted it

[BooCanary]

Oh God my parents are just like this and it drives me potty. Examples:

• complete inability to do things quickly/multitask. For example, DM announces she will cook a frozen quiche but we all agree that we haven't got much time as we are due to go out. Then, rather than putting oven on first, she potters off to the freezer, spends 10 minutes checking the dates on everything in it, rearranges it a bit, then eventually comes back to put oven on (WHY NOT DO THIS BEFORE). Then decides to give (spotless!) oven a wipeover, tidy oven trays etc. Insists on setting an alarm to ensure oven warms up for EXACTLY 15 minutes ffs, then spends ages reading the precise cooking instructions on packet, followed by detailed chat with DF about what oven function to use. By this time I am screaming (in my head) JUST PUT THE FUCKING QUICHE IN THE OVEN!!.
  

• cleaning every single cooking implement within 2 seconds of meal finishing. Including floor, tablecloth, tablemats, whilst guests are trying to let their fricking dinner go down.
  

• insistence of following you into rooms after you've been in there to check eveything is 'in order'. So basically, if you go to the toilet, once you have come out, one of them will pop in to check if anything needs a wipe around, if there are any splashes round the sink, or if the hand towel needs replacing.
  

• as for the level of analness when it comes to the DGCs using toilet, eating food/drinks, etc - it's even worse.
  

They are lovely DPs and DGPs, but good gried!

[Doneinagain]

Loving these especially the carefully planned out use of bread and weetabix!
My Mil is anal in planning everybody else's lives while making a total shambles of her own. She emailed me to ask me what I was planning to cook for Boxing Day lunch as her, and my sil's family were all joining us. Fair enough you might think except she was asking me on December 2nd!!!
Wouldn't have minded soo much except this is the same mil who only makes one roast chicken for 8 adults and 4 children's dinners if we visit for the weekend and then can't understand why we have to food shop on the Sunday for lunch as she has nothing in the house to feed us! Barking! After years of this I have made it clear she is welcome to visit us but we seem to be unusually busy if we get invited up

[BooCanary]

Euphemia my DM does the plastic bag thing too. Except she double or triple bags things 'just in case'.

[DollyTwat]

Oh and if I ask my DF what he's doing next week he wi tell me every thing he's doing every day up til then

[Gooseysgirl]

I love my DMIL but I am beyonnnnnd fed up of freezing my arse off in her house every time we visit. I wear two pairs of socks over tights and leggings, thermal vest, several tops and a woolly jumper. DH asks her can he turn on the gas fire she says no and throws a blanket at us. Her house, her rules and all that but I draw the line when it's New Year's Eve (ffs make an exception!!!!) and we now have a young baby who DMIL says is like Michelin baby... Helloooo if you turned the heating on I wouldn't have to layer all the clothes on her. She banks her winter fuel allowance (is not badly off at all... go figure!!). I've told DH that I have spent my last ever night there, most miserable NYE of my life. She thinks we're going to her for Christmas Eve next year I took one look at DH and the look said 'over my dead body'...

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

I am much more anal than my PILs. They do not have systems for anything. Nothing in the kitchen has "a place". Consequently you can never find anything. Meals are never planned - they wait until everyone is hungry and then go to the shop to get ingredients.

[WandaDoff]

I love this thread.

My parents are dead now, but I treasure the memories of all their daft little quirks & routines, & my parents could faff about with the best of them.

My Dad couldn't work his mobile. He'd managed to put the automatic lock after a few secs on, & by the time he'd squinted at it & dithered about which buttons to press, it would be locked again.

He threw it at me & told me "it was like something out of Star Trek". It was a Nokia 3310.

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

My grandparents were the best for routines.

Grandad would start the day by making tea at 6.15. I have no idea why they needed to get up so flipping early, as they had nothing to do all day.

All meals were at a set time - lunch 11.45, followed by a nap. They would set off for a drive or walk in the afternoon at seven minutes past 2. I know this because we used to live next door, and would wave at them as they went. Seven minutes past 2 every day.

Rest of the day followed the same sort of pattern, until bed at 9.45. My grandma would switch off whatever TV programme she was watching, even if it was due to finish at 10, because bedtime was 9.45.

Grandad is now in a home, he was happy this week as for the first time ever he was allowed to stay up until midnight on NYE!

[teamboleyn]

When I would borrow my dad's car I would be handed a file with all relevant documents (just in case) and instructions on how to put on the lights/ indicators/ radio/ fan. Even if I was only using it for an hour. Everytime.

[Sheldonella]

My DM puts at least two stamps on everything she sends to us, "just in case". Even if it is just a simple birthday card. I've tried pointing her at the dimensions page on the royal mail site for large letters but she still does it

[needtogetoffsofa]

lemonmousse that made me

[Fluffydressinggown]

My PIL (well mostly my MIL!)

Ice cream is served with all puddings, they dish the ice cream up in the kitchen in individual scoops into a bowl and then they serve the ice cream from that at the table. So it is usually melted by the time you get it!

She cries if you don't eat all of the food at the table, so we end up in this weird begging situation where she is trying to force you to eat some crumbs from the quiche.

They find cooking a roast meal really really hard. Lots of hissing about taking the beef out of the oven.

[VenusStarr]

I didn't think there were people out there like my parents, but there's a whole thread! :)

My parents are so anal it's untrue! Eating a meal at their house take forever! Lunch is at 12.30 (?!) the veg is put on to boil at 12! We eat in silence, until my mom asks anyone want this potato? We all shake our heads, then it will be 'dad, potato? Sister, potato? Sisters boyfriend, potato? Venusstarr, potato? Cats, potato?' every flipping time!

We eventually finish the meal at around 2pm - why it takes this long I'll never know!! when everything is cleared from the table and everything is rinsed clean before loading the dishwasher! I genuinely thought they were the only ones who did this. We leave them to it. I used to help wash up but get so frustrated by the routine abs you cant deviate from the routine! So we are in the living room, then my mom will come in and ask us if we'd like a hot drink. Even if we don't want one, we have to go back to the dining room to sit with everyone while they drink. This is when cake is brought out, if you don't want cake you can have fruit but you must use a plate - again, they aren't the only ones who do this?! Why create mounds of washing up!

Everything with my parents takes so much longer than it should. They aren't the type of people where you can pop in for a coffee because it takes HOURS! Even if you say we can't stay long, 3 hours later, you're just heading out of the door, if you're lucky!

This thread has made me smile :)

[DollyTwat]

Same with my DF Fluffy, lots of faffing about for a roast lunch and mountains of washing up. There's always lots of trying to take the roasting tin out of a hot oven with a tea cloth rather than oven mitts
Use. The. Mitt

[mayaswell]

These are terribly familiar, not wasting anything is a theme! I was always driven mad by my lovely MIL who is OBSESSED with airing washing until its bone dry, I felt hounded by her all the time when she stayed or we were visiting.
Then we visited the village where she grew up and we saw her house and she described how damp it was and how her brother nearly died of bronchitis. I kind of got it then.

[needtogetoffsofa]

recharge - I've just wet myself laughing. Someone could turn that into a sitcom

[aJumpedUpPantryBoy]

My mum whisks plates away to wash up while you are still eating.
She never eats pudding so while you are eating something lovely you feel guilty because she is being a martyr frantically washing up in the kitchen - she has perfectly good dishwasher but refuses to use it 'there is no need - I'm faster than that machine'

She likes everything to be planned, but then tries to make the plans even more complicated

Me: So, we'll meet at 2pm outside Debenhams
Mum: OK, oooh, unless I need to go to Boots - shall we meet at 2.15 outside Boots
Me: That's fine
Mum: On the other hand, Debenhams might be better, cos they might not have what I want in Boots
Me: Right, so 2.15 outside Debenhams
Mum: Ohh, but what if ... etc etc etc

This conversation can go on and on and on.
Ironically, wherever we decide to meet she'll be there 20 minutes early anyway.