I CANNOT listen to next door having sex any longer.

[ShowOfHands]

I might cry.

I posted about this a while ago. They're newly in love and have loud, explicit and long bouts of sex. They were at it 3am-5am, woke both of the children. DD was falling asleep in her shreddies at 7.30am when they started round 2 and she's gone to school tired and asking inappropriate questions. I've JUST got ds to sleep (20 weeks old) and they're slapping up against the wall screaming and shouting again.

It's not funny. I tried to find it lightly amusing at first but it's horrid. Really unpleasant to listen to and I'm having to walk round with ds in his pram to get him to sleep most mornings- and to give me a break- as they're at it morning, noon and night.

She said to me yesterday over the fence 'I expected to be disturbed by your ds when he was born but we haven't heard a peep out of him yet'. No. Your wailing and screaming blots out birdsong ffs.

Can I say something? It's seriously affecting our sleep. How on earth do I approach it? Or do I just leave it? I don't want to fall out with her, she's a pleasant enough woman. But I could draw her naked from the opining her bloke does. That audio commentary for the blind you can accidentally activate on your freeview box? It's like that.

[ShowOfHands]

Our front entrance is permanently barred on account of the volume of traffic outside it.

[KatieMiddleton]

So do you share a back passage then? I only have the bin men down mine on a Monday.

However, I do suffer terribly with strangers photographing the front here. That's the trouble with being quite pretty and in the town centre.

[ShowOfHands]

Nooooooooo. My back passage is ravaged and in need of attention. Mona's is well tended, welcoming even.

[KatieMiddleton]

Could you post in MN local to see if anybody knows an odd job man who might come round and see to your back passage? Or even a sixth-former who might do it for pocket money?

Or ask Mona who does hers and see if you can share?

[Longtime]

So glad I caught up with this via the round-up. I'm still laughing at "I pretended to be dead" :)

[S1TLL]

www.environmental-protection.org.uk/noise/environmental-noise/noise-pollution/

This is no different to next door having a dog barking at all hours, or playing music loudly, you shouldnt have to put up with it.

[Nannydo]

I had neighbours like this and the problem was sorted in a very unexpected way. It was in the summer and a group of middle aged men on their way home from the local pub all stopped to listen. When everything went quiet the group gave 3 cheers followed by a round of applause and serveral congratulatory comments. We heard the windows being closed. The noise was kept down to acceptable level after that.

[Nannydo]

Our present neighbours used to have loud parties and keep us awake. My Scottish partner started playing the a CD of bagpipes and drums from 8am the following mornings as loudly as possible. No lie in for the neighbours, but they soon got the message. Now if there is a party and things start to get loud I text the message 'Jock is looking for the CD'. The party breaks up immediately.

[Bossybritches22]

OOOh SOH

you ARE the complete Round-up newsletter this week, still laughing, well done!

[theonewiththenoisychild]

Or take kids round and ask could you answer my childrens questions about the noises coming from your house because i cant find the right words and you seem very vocal

[theonewiththenoisychild]

And congrats on being the full round up newsletter i didnt see this til i got the email haha

[kimbelina]

I'm fairly new here but I have to say I've just spent about 2 and a half hours reading this thread! You lot are fab. And hilarious. I look forward to future threads... :D

[jshm2]

You could just do the same thing back !->

But more seriously, sometimes people need to be reminded when they step over the line. If you don't tell them then they will never know.

A quiet moan (no, I do not mean it that way at all) to the women of the house could be all it takes.

[jabberwocky]

I have been off of MN for a while. Reading a thread like this makes me wonder how I could have possible stayed away! Well done Mr. Show

[ShowOfUmblestAnds]

Arf. Just seen the talk round up. I must protest though, I did not 'wail' Aitch. I know wailing. I was not wailing. Nor was I moaning. I was whining.

An entire talk round up, eh? I've peaked. It's all downhill from here.

[AitchTwoOhOneTwo]

[CheerfulYank]

I have just wee'd with laughter. Best. Thread. EVER!

Good show, Mr. Hands!

[SilverSky]

The first classic I have read and it's had me in stitches.

[Lovethesea]

Well that thread cheered me up.