If you managed to exclusively breastfeed twins (or more)

[PeasPlease]

Please can you help me out? This is long and dull sorry.

Boy/Girl DTs are 5 weeks - born full term.

I am utterly exhausted!

They feed for about an hour at 7, then the same at 10. In between that DD2 fights her nap so I can't relax as I am up and down to her letting her feed a bit as she often screams and chews her hand. Same goes for lunchtime nap when I also try to express milk for the evening. The feed at about 1pm would go on all afternoon if they had their way, but I take them out for half an hour in the pushchair to give me a break. They then feed and briefly nap on and off until 6 when they have a bath then get a feed plus the expressed milk. Without the extra expressed milk they would cluster feed all night. They wake at 11 and feed for an hour, then 3 and then they just don't settle and often end up in bed with us which stops me sleeping as I worry that DH might squish one of them. I get about 3 hours sleep as DD1 gets up between 6 and 7.

I suspect that one problem that has developed is delayed letdown and this has been made worse by using bottles as DTs fuss at the breast when the milk is not flowing fast which makes me tense which makes it worse and makes the feeds go on forever.

DD1 was also a poor sleeper and we co slept for weeks but feeding was OK and we didn't stop until 16 months so I expected to be able to manage the same.

Please tell me how you managed to breastfeed exclusively - especially if you had noone to help you in the day and you had other children.

There is a carton of formula in the cupboard which i desperately don't want to use but I feel like I am trying to do the impossible and am not sure how much longer I will cope for.

I just need some rest but I don't know how to get it.

Can anyone help a frazzled mum of gorgeous precious but hard work twins?

Hello PeasPlease.

First off, congratulations on your DTs. And secondly, you are doing just great.

I'm ebf my id twin boys, who will be 5 months next week (although they do get one spoonfeed daily).

I just wanted to encourage you. Breastfeeding takes a good bit of work and determination when there is just one baby, but when there's two....!

I'm sure you are exhausted. It's hard, isn't it? You need to get rest to ensure a good supply, but when do you manage to get it with two babies? And a toddler as well.... I know the feeling!

All I can say is, I promise it will get easier. I am more or less getting a full night's sleep now (when DD, aged 2, isn't up!) so it will happen for you too.

I'm trying to think of practical advice. If you think your let-down is a bit slow, have you tried either a hot or cold drink when babies start to feed? A big glass of water worked for me.

And you will make enough milk, your body will divert calories to the babies. As long as your DTs are alert with wet & soiled nappies they are getting enough.

Do you have a feeding pillow? I bought twins EZ2nurse pillow from E-bay, and I have certainly got my money's worth. Using it as I type! If DD is here & DTs need fed I get sorted with books/toys/TV remote so that she is entertained beside me whilst DTs feeding. Means I can keep an eye on her.

Sorry I can't offer any more practical advice. Look out for HoochieMomma and MarsLady on the Multiples thread. They are both (I think) bf counsellors so will offer you a wealth of info/tips/support etc.

HTH. And remember, 'this too shall pass' ; you will get there!

Thank you, all of you for your replies!

Londonlottie, my twins behave the same in the afternoon with pulling, scratching and arching their back and it has me in tears too I am convinced it is because I use bottles with EBM at night and the babies expect the flow from the breast to be constant like the bottle. Dropping the bottles though would mean constant evening cluster feeding

WhenKevinMetSadie I do have the EZ2nurse. I cannot manage to feed both at the same time without it.

DH just took them out for a couple of hours so I can sleep which has made me feel so much better he is ace. It has made me realise that none of this would be so bad if DD2 was a better sleeper, so maybe I should focus on that... but then maybe that is feed related...

I really want to wait until 17 weeks before introducing a bottle of formula but it is so tempting to use it and get some rest sometimes.

Hi, congratulations on your twins

I have prem 13 week twins and have had problems feeding, although not the same problems as you so cannot offer any specific advice.

I just want to say that I understand the exhaustion though. I was so tired I couldn't understand how i was functioning during the day (and I have help and no other children!).

At night I constantly fell asleep while feeding and would wake to find a baby who had fallen off my boob and had her head wedged under my armpit or something while we both slept It does get better, week by week, even day by day sometimes you will notice little improvements that make you life just that little bit easier, and before you know it you will get a a few more hours sleep in a row and things will start to look up.

Sorry, no advice, just wanted to say I understand!

I'm with Leonie on this one - you lot are amazing!

and proud

You are both very kind to say so.

Group hug anyone

Please please don't make yourself ill, you'll be no use as a mummy if you wear yourself out trying to do the "right thing". I think ebf is what we all aim for, but remember, that carton of formula in your cupboard is not some vile poison, and if you substitute one feed a day you might just buy yourself the right balance between doing what's best for the twins and what's best for you (and your sanity). I think Londonlottie has it absolutely right. Anyway, best of luck.

Aw shucks, Leonie and MrsK, thank you

Yes Zuzu, I'm up for a group hug! Well done you, my boys were born at 37weeks, I can imagine feeding prem twins comes with its own set of challenges.

Peasplease, how did last night go? Did you get some rest? (hopefully more than me, boys both have coughs & coughed so much they were both sick, cot needed changed, boys needed top-up feed, DD woke for an hour; finally got to sleep at 3! Serves me right for saying yesterday that I was getting a full night's sleep )

Hope you're feeling a bit better about things today. How many other children do you have? Take it you bf them as well? For me, because I bf DD til she was 1, it's become important not to make any differences with the DTs. However, I know I've been incredibly lucky that I've not had any big problems. Is feeding your DC in the same way/for same length of time a factor for you?

Thank you Leonie and MrsK

Actually, I was wondering this morning if I am taking on far too much for no good reason. DH was moaning about me using a dummy with DS which annoyed me because I don't know anyone else daft enough to try breastfeeding twins, and he is just griping about a bloody dummy which saves me listening to more crying than I have to. Just about every parent where we live bottle feeds and uses dummies and I think he expects me to be nothing less than superwoman which I am most definitely not.

I must add that DH is massively supportive and helpful though!

I know that if I manage without using formula I will be very proud but I suspect I might wish I had got out and about more and been able to be more relaxed and do more with DD1 which I don't seem to be able to do at the mo.

The NextMrsDepp, I know formula is not poison but I also don't want to give cows milk in any form to my babies when they are small because I understand some of the risks and I would feel so guilty if one of them got an infection or illness, even if it probably wasn't anything to do with formula. But yes, I agree, if it saves your sanity then on balance it is the way to go.

WhenKevinMetSadie, I hope your boys are better today and that you don't feel too knackered. Yes, it serves you right for boasting I got over 5 hours sleep last night. DTs woke at 1.30 and 4.30 and took an hour to feed and settle each time which was quite a good night. I also slept an hour this morning so I feel a bit alive again. DD1 is 3 and yes, because I fed her for over a year I want to do the same for the twins if I can. It is a shame that I don't enjoy feeding them as much as I did with her though.

ZuzuandZara, congratulations on managing to feed premature twins, I cannot imagine the difficulties involved with that - you must be so proud!

I remember seeing something once about the benefits of breastfeeding over certain lengths of time, I will try and find it now and use it for encouragement.

When I was pregnant I really hoped I'd be able to breastfeed exclusively, and although I managed it for a few months, the long term reality was just too exhausting. I came to the conclusion that it was better to give the girls some breastmilk than none, and began to introduce formula feeds. I'd usually feed two myself and the third (I've got triplets) would have a bottle. I found that by reducing my milk production to a more managable level I was better able to cope with the day and everything else I had to do. The girls were very prem (born at 28 weeks) and spent the first 9.5 weeks of their life in hospital. Because of this I got very used to expressing, and even once they were able to breastfeed I continued to express as it meant my husband could help out. I don't regret having introduced formula for a minute, without it I'd have given up long before 7 months.

We have 5wk old non-id boy/boy twins - well done you for breastfeeding exclusively so far!

I was determined to exclusively feed for the recommended 6 months but when the boys were weighed at 3 days old they had lost too much weight and were admitted to hospital where they were formula fed (one through a nasal tube ) to a very stringent routine.

I then found it incredibly difficult to keep up with the volumes they were becoming used to and now mix feed. Although I loathe the fact we now mainly formula feed, it is nice that the pressure is off me and I can enjoy the breastfeeds on demand that we do now. One of my boys is always latched for at least an hour & the other can fuss a lot so I reckon my life would be one long breastfeed if things had gone to my plan....

Good luck!
x

I think the other thing I hadn't realised till several years later is that everyone with twins finds it hard, not just breastfeeding mothers, and people who formula fed were also having difficulties coping with feeds, crying, colic, sleepless nights, an dit wasn't just to do with breastfeeding. I did give formula, but I breastfed till they were two as well. I could never have ebf - in retrospect I don't why I beat myself up about it, when it was amazing I managed at all, but I am glad I didn't think that was the end of bfdng just because formula helped me through.
Thank your lucky stars for a supportive husband as well, but remind him that anything that helps you survive as a bfdng mother cannot possibly be bad for the babies, and maybe an occasional bottle of formula will help you to bfd. I think you know your own personal breaking point - that sounds frightening, but sometimes it can be easier to make a decision about what you can and cannot cope with, and not let others make the decision for you. KEEP BREASTFEEDING IT IS WORTH IT, and it's lovely

Also, could your husband get up with your dd so that you get a lttle extra sleep first thing. I also slept in the sitting room with the twins at night so that he wasn't woken by them, and was "refreshed"to help me in the morning before he went to work.

Aww, thanks to everyone for the supportive posts.

Today is an ok day, although DS is exercising his current preference for sleeping in the day and I don't know what to do about it - i literally cannot keep him awake. Then at night he is being a little imp.

AnnaOD, you are a goddess for managing to feed such premature babies. How are they now? 28 weeks just sounds so early.

AtLongLast were your babies born full term? I ask just because I was wondering what sort of routine other 5 week twins stick to (if any).

Hoochie, I appreciate the pompoms

SwanRiver, I keep thinking that too - that formula feeding mums probably have problems and it wouldnt necessarily be the answer to mine.

Glad you're having a better day. The girls are 14 months now (almost a year corrected for prematurity) and all three doing are really well thanks. We were incredibly lucky that when they were born their only issue was being teeny tiny. Kate is now walking holding hands and the other two are still trying but failing to crawl. I don't mind... makes my life easier when they're always where I left them!

Yep, my boys were full term (induced at 40+3). We don't really have a routine as such. I think I'd just end up running myself ragged trying to keep up with what I should be doing. Getting through the day with everyone fed & with clean bums does me at the moment.

As a very loose routine, I breastfeed whoever wakes first usually 7-8am. Then we get up & I'll offer a formula top-up & breastfeed the other twin. Then feed (3-4 hourly ish)/ sleep throughout the day whenever it seems like it's needed (though I think we should probably up the daytime naps). & factor in an outing in the afternoon. They are usually both fairly awake/alert most of the day.

The most routine part of the day is bedtime. We still keep the boys downstairs with us in the evening but we start nappy change / feed at 10pm and put them in the cot in our room. DT1 tends to go to sleep easily once he's well fed. I can still be trying to settle DT2 at 2am but he's getting better (touch wood). I usually breastfeed him for as long as he needs when we take them to bed as it calms him. Then DT1 will wake at ~2am for a nappy change / feed, and then they're both up for a feed at around 5-6am. So, individually they're pretty good, but the early part of the night can be hard going not knowing how long DT2 will take to drift off. I often end up snoozing in the early hours with one or other twin draped across my tummy - that way we all get some rest.

Oh god, I'd forgotten how awful the first few months were. Reading your OP has brought it all back...

Will post something longer and (I dearly, dearly hope) more helpful in a bit, when have dealt with awake twins climbing up legs...

Right. First of all, is it possible that there's a growth spurt going on? Even though they were full term, I'm presuming they were small at birth, and so will have more weight to put on as a result? Growth spurts are a bit of an obsession of mine, sorry; I found out about them, after they'd occurred: at the time, the constant feeding nearly drove me into the friendly arms of Tesco! If I'd known, I would have also known they would end!

Anyway: in the early days, I had an inflatable Boots breastfeeding cushion, which I squashed over myself in an armchair to feed them when they were hungry simultaneously. Then I slept in that armchair while they cluster-fed. At night, when I went to bed, I tried to encourage them to feed alternately, so I could feed one baby while I slept on my side, IYSWIM. Once that baby was fed, I would turn over onto my other side, and feed the baby on that side.

This thing helped immensely with that. It might help you, too, as you're worried about your dh squashing one.

I am still breastfeeding mine, who are 4 months old now.
I found it massively difficult in those early weeks. One of mine had a problematic latch, causing bleeding and cracking if I didn't work really hard at retraining her. (The worst bit about that is that with a singleton you can rest the nipple for longer, but with multiples it is like a constant onslaught with no let up.)

These were babies 3+4 for me, and I felt like with dd2 I had got the hang of breastfeeding and coping with lack of sleep. Having the twins really took me back to square one and I had to learn new things all over again. I couldn't use my fallback methods of soothing and feeding by using a sling or feeding lying down. I hated feeding them both together, (still don't really like it to be honest), but with the constancy of feeding in the early weeks it became essential in order to do it all.

I was really keen to breastfeed initially because for me, I knew it would mess with my head in the long term if I didn't do the same for the twins as I did for dd2 and dd1. But honestly, I was ready to crack open the formula within the first week, it really did test me.

I don't want to go on and on here about myself, I just said the above to try to show you that I think I know something of what you are going through. I don't think I had it as tough though, because I had someone staying with me for the first 6 weeks, then after that dd1 was in school and dd2 was in nursery for 3 days a week, so I only had 3 children for 2 days a week.

I do think it is worth trying to push on through this tough phase, because now it is sooooo much better and I am hugely glad I am still breastfeeding, even though I knew formula wasn't poison and really probably wouldn't make any difference at all, it was just something I wanted to do.
I always fed them simultaneously during the day up until about 3 months, when their feeds sped up so much that I could do them one at a time very easily. I now don't find it any more trying than having a singleton because they are happier being awake and looking around (so don't cry when the other is being fed) and each feeds in under 15 minutes.

Reading your op, do you really have a problem with the breastfeeding or with them not having proper naps?
Breastfeeding:
Are you confident they are latching ok and draining your breast properly - are they properly full when they finish? Do you think they want feeding more often than three hourly? Could it be they are too little to last that long yet? I wonder if they would be able to cope with the delayed letdown if you fed them a bit earlier ie before they were too hungry? My feeling is that such a rigid routine is a bit early for them at such a young age, but I am not very routiney.
Rest:
Are you only getting out for a walk for that half hour in the afternoon? How do they sleep in the pram? If you don't have your other child to look after could you take them out for a long walk when the weather is ok, and put some music on your ipod and take a flask of coffee with you? If only one baby is struggling to nap, could you put him/her in a sling to get them to sleep?
I managed to go to the parent and baby screenings at that young age - it's difficult but doable (just). Is that an option? If you take lots of padding you can put that on your knee for their heads then use the arm rests for their bodies and feed them at the same time...it's probably best to do this first time round with someone else there for moral support.

What help do you have? Could you afford to get some help in for the next 6 weeks, just to take them out in the pram or whatever so you can get a break?

My final word. I promise. I do think it is hard for every multiple mum in those early dark, dark, dark weeks. I don't think you can lay that entirely at the door of breastfeeding. Formula feeders don't necessarily nap well, or feed quickly, so it may not be the magic bullet you are looking for.

Good luck, just do your best, and then if you really want to add the odd bottle, at least you will know you reached your personal limit and could do no more so will have no regrets.

Oh my, just seen the length of that message. How embarrassing.

Hi
No practical advice I'm afraid as my DTs are strapping 18 yr olds, just wanted to say well done, keep on keeping on, it IS possible (I had a toddler too) I was v motivated to exc. bf due to allergies etc this hard hard bit will pass and you will have earned the relative ease that comes later (compared to making up bottles).
Ask for and accept any help that's on offer. Ask your hv if there is any practical help- we had a home help come, I had to pay but was subsidised as we had 3 under 3. Really anything other than keeping everyone fed and clean is a bonus, congratulate yourself just on acheiving that.

Hi Peasplease

My twins are only 6 weeks old so not far ahead of yours, definitely can't claim to be an expert. I am now exclusively bfeeding them, though for their first 2 weeks after each feed I had to give them about 20ml of formula as my daughter lost 10.1% of her body weight after birth and the hospital was keen to make sure she was "topped up".

My daughter has always been a bit of a sleepy feeder and she started to do what yours were doing. I let her do this for a few weeks as I was really keen to phase out the top ups and I think it worked in getting my milk supply going (all the bf gurus seem to say offer whenever they want feeding) but then she just started just wanting to feed for short periods every hour or so which was a nightmare. Also I felt like I was sat round the house permanently with my breasts out which I really was not enjoying so much...

So have now resorted to being far more strict with the feed times (going at least 3 hours between feeds and aiming for longer) and using a soother if I have to to tide her over in the meantime. Doctor also suggested I could give cooled boiled water if one of them is really screaming though I haven't done this yet. This does seem to be working as she is already sleeping better between feeds and taking more at each feed.

Ideally I would like to not have to use a soother at all but I decided in the end that it is one step at a time and the first thing I had to do was get some sort of feeding pattern established otherwise I don't see how I am ever going to leave the hous

Good luck and let me know what worked for you when you crack the problem! I am sure you will!