Just found out I'm expecting twins! Any advice?

[jen80]

I just found out yesterday that I'm expecting identical twins!
After leaving the scan and brief midwife chat we realised that no real information was given to us about twin pregnancy by the hospital at all. I guess I had the opportunity to ask but was too busy feeling hysterical (happy!) at the time.
I have an appointment in 4 weeks to see a consultant (this seems like an eternity).
I find this a bit upsetting that they talked to me about 'high risk' and have put me under consultant care etc yet I was sent away with no explanation of what high risk meant.
I then scared myself by trying to look it up online and reading all the negative statistics.
I know there is a lot of help out there but I
just can't believe the hospital sent us away with no extra info.
Maybe I'm over reacting, I am still in shock!
Any advice on twin pregnancy would be much appreciated.

Hi There and congratulations. My identical twin boys are 5 years old now, I found out I was expecting them at a 10 week scan before we emigrated to Australia 5 days later...!
Contact TAMBA for advice, and for contact with thousands of other parents who have had experience of pregnancy and birth of twins. You are still in shock, but believe me, it is an AMAZING experience, and you are soooo privelidged to be a potential parent of twins. "Higher risk" means you are looked after so carefully, remember this is NATURAL...! All the best to you.

Also no advice, sorry! Just wanted to say a massive congrats!! Very exciting!

Lucky you, how lovely

Conratulations my twins are nearly 8
months and such fun. Only advice is just enjoy it and take each week as it comes.

Congrats,

high risk usually means you should be scanned every 2 wks from about 16 wks onwards to check growth and risk of TTTS.

There are risks with id twins, but it's mainly a straightforward experience, until they come out lol!

No seriously, it's a privelege being a twin Mummy

Congratulations. I've just had ID twins too.

Don't be too freaked out by about the high risk status. High risk really just means higher risk than a single birth which is obvious but it doesn't mean you get complications. Although 4 weeks seems a long way a way you will have tonnes of opportunities after that to ask anything and everything as you will probably be scanned every two weeks as mentioned above - that's just routine.

I found this site more friendlier than the TAMBA site (there's a lot of horror stories on that site that make freak you out a little) and don't over google the complications, apart from TTTS the rest will be pretty straight forward.

There is definitely less info available for twin mums but just take each scan as it comes and they'll be here before you know it and the craziness really begins then It's hard work but an amazing experience.

Thank you all so much for your messages.
I am starting to calm down a bit now!
I go from being excited to stressed and back again all day long :-)
I have signed up to the TAMBA website for advice now.
And I've started a vey long list of questions to ask my consultant in 4 weeks.

Many congratulations Trudi.
Thank you for your reassurances.
I have appointments for scans at 16 weeks, 20 weeks and then every 2 weeks.
How was your pregnancy?
Did you have a c-section?
I already have a 2 year old and had a long horrible labour with him, hopefully it won't be a repeat performance!

Sorry for potential hijack Jen80 and congratulations! I'm in a similar position to you, although I found out at an early viability scan that I'm also expecting identical twins, so have had a bit more time to get my head around it.
I was just about to start a thread about how on earth people cope, so hopefully it'll help us both if any seasoned twin mums can give any advice!
I have a 4 year old ds who was an emergency c section and expect to have an elective section this time - my midwife told me I should go for a vbac before we knew there were two, but thinks I should get an elective now that there are twins to consider.
My real question is about the practicalities of twins - feeding, sleeping and how to make ds not feel pushed aside if they are also boys?

My pregnancy wasn't exactly pleasant if I'm honest. It's incredibly hard towards the end as you are so big and so tired and you really feel the strain on your body but the birth was fine in the end. I got induced as I was over full term and delivered vaginally as both had their head down. There was only about 2 mins between them and as you are delated already the second twin can be pushed out easily normally. But what kind of birth you have can depend a lot on how the babies are lying and different doctors have different policies so you will have to discuss that with your doctor but you dont HAVE to have a c section unless you babies are lying funny (breach etc) and your doctor tell you it's too dangerous to deliver any other way.

The whole process is tough, especially the 2 week visits towards the end when you can barely walk. But I can assure you it is all worth it in the end.

Congratulations jen80 and mrsMopple!
Ask at your clinic/surgery/childrens centre if you have a local twins club. They should be happy for you go go along before the babies are born and speak to parents in person about their experiences. My local twins club also ran a special twin antenatal class which was very useful as the advice for pregnancy, labour, birth, breastfeeding and babycare was all tailored to having 2 babies!

The constant round of appointments can get really tiring especially towards the end but it is reassuring to be checked regularly. Dont be afraid to ask the consultant and midwife any questions you have each time you see them.

Your birth will depend on lots of factors so its probably best to take things as they come to start with until nearer the end and the midwife and consultant will advise. My twins were breech and transverse the whole way through so I had a planned section at 38 weeks and 5 days.

LargeGlassofRed is the person to ask breastfeeding questions!

Good luck and enjoy!

Breastfeeding twins can be done! What you need is determination and some good support! Get in contact with your local twins club and see if any of them have breastfed, there are a few tricks of the trade which make feeding two a bit easier! Once you get established, it's probably easier than formula feeding, but the first few weeks and the growth spurts are hard work!

I'm a breastfeeding peer support counsellor and b-fed my twins for over a year, so if you've got any specific b-feeding Qs post on here and I can answer them.

Congratulations MrsMopple!
Do you know much about TTTS? This is playing on my mind at the moment. I have heard this is unlikely to happen but it seems to be a real risk.

Wow I'm feeling in awe of all you mums who already have twins!

jen80 - congrats, its fabulous news! I have non-identical DTs, boys who are 5 and a little girl who is 3 (so yes..there is life after twins!).

come and chat with all the other multiple mummies over on the "d'y'ever thread" - you'll find it under multiple births - we hae all the experiences, funny and not so funny that you could possibly need and we have a great laugh and support each other!

Jen80 - TTTS was on my mind a lot too. Sadly, it is a real risk for twins that share placenta or amniotic sacs. If it's any help, the worry does go away a little. Eventually I only got worried before each scan and was then on a high for a little while after each scan that didn't reveal anything.

The thing is, there is nothing you can do to prevent it and there aren't that many early symptoms so I decided not to tie myself up in knots over something I can't control. You will get checked regularly and my doctor said it's really easy to spot on a scan so they will act fast even if there is the smallest trace of it. I
But I know how you feel. I was so relieved when I got past 30 weeks just because I thought if I get TTTS now at least the babies could survive if I delivered them. I did get TTTS but it came on about a day or two before I gave birth so we were all really lucky. One twin was bright red due to all the red blood cells he had been taking from his brother and the other was a little smaller because of this but it evened out after about 3 weeks.

Try not to worry, don't let it ruin your pregnancy.

Can I join this thread? Just found out today we will be having twins. This is a very wanted, IVF pregnancy, and having insisted on single transfer previously, we transferred two embryos this time because it was our last chance. But am devastated by the news today and can't look at the ultrasound pictures. DP is little better. We don't know how we will cope with twins, how on earth we will be able to care for our 2yo ds, or how I will manage to grow two babies.

Please - need some reassurance that this can turn out ok.

Jen80, I don't know much about TTTS, although as my twins are monochorionic/diamniotic I think I'm at slightly less risk than someone who is mono/mono (although depending on what Google throws up, I'm also considered high risk??!). I think this is why they like to scan twins every 2 weeks from about 16 weeks, akthough I haven't heard this from my hospital, I haven't been scanned there yet, and my first visit and dating scan will be when I'm 14 weeks.

MamaChris, I think I understand what you're going through a little. Me and DH had discussed IVF and had been for the preliminary tests because we didn't want ds to be an only child and had failed to conceive a sibling. Then I found out I was pregnant in December after 36 months of ttc. I started a thread at the time about how ambivalent I felt and why was I only thinking about all the negative impacts on our family rather than the positives, considering it was a very much wanted pregnancy.
I also heard from a school mum (before we conceived) that she was expecting twins and that she'd been devastated when she found out and my reply to her about every child being a miracle and that I was sure she would manage came back to haunt me when I found out I was carrying twins too! It wasn't until then that I realised the emotional impact of a twin pregnancy. As you've only just had the news, it'll take a while for it to sink in. Take care of you

wow, congrats to everyone!

It is a shock at first, and I don't think I personally really got completely over it til a good while after they were born! I got used to the pregnancy bit then when they were born it was strange all over again looking at TWO babies instead of one!

It is hard work, but you find ways of dealing with things, and I think the best advice is to take it one day at a time, and follow your instincts. Don't expect to parent in the same way as with a singleton, when you have two to consider, and don't compare yourself to singleton mums.

Rest as much as you can during the pg, cos you won't get much for a little while after.

mamachris, my older two were 4 and 2 when my twins were born. They did occassionally feel a bit left out, but we had to deal with it best we can and get on with it. Now, they are 9 and 7, the twins are nearly 5 and it was def worth it. They are all very close and generally play together well. There are def advantages to having lots close enough in age to share interests. Congrats!

use stretch mark cream - an remember what it's called - but my stretch marks are HUGE!

don't go to cinema - you can't sit in a cinema seat when you are 6 months pregnant - just kills your back

trust your body - i was very sick with morning sickness and could only eat oranges and soup ( not together obv.) i lost weight to begin with, but i reckon my body needed certain vitamins.

nothing wrong with pain relief.

i have b/g twins 17 next week.

Congratulations jen80! I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant with fraternal twins. I just wanted to say that not all multiple pregnancies are bad - mine has been really good so far, just starting to feel a bit big now and getting some ankle and foot swelling so glad I finished work last week. Obviously I can't yet speak for the birth part...

Don't panic about high risk - we were told this too and it freaked me out for a while but as long as you are sensible, do some research and go to all your appts there is not much else you can do. I also went to the Tamba twin day which was really good - try and meet other people with twins, it gives you encouragement that life does go on!
Good luck x

Hi LL. Glad you are coping these early days. I know with a singleton it does get easier around 3 months, hopefully the same holds for twins!

Am feeling a bit more positive now. Thanks for the replies MrsMop and chops. Am hoping that we each can manage to spend sme time with ds alone every day, so that he still has special time with us and doesn't feel too left out.

Thank you all for your replies.

It is comforting to know that all these feelings are normal! I am still feeling down and convinced I won't end up with 2 babies - and the next minute - happily bidding for double buggies on ebay!!!

HarrogateMum - I am also in Harrogate! Any advice on which playgroups etc are good to meet other twin parents?

MamaChris -glad to hear you're feeling a bit more positive. I also have a 2 year old (will be 3) and am worried how it will affect him. I'm trying to encourage him to be as indepedant as possible now by encouraging him to do things for himself - going to potty, dressing etc. so when I phsically can't help him it will be normal for him to help himself.
And I'm starting up some activities just for him (1 preschool session a week, swimming etc) that we will be able to keep going when the babies arrive (with the help of my mum, admittedly) so I hope we can keep some things normal for him. Don't know if this will help. It is going to be such a shock for him, maybe this is all wishful thinking!!

Hiya,
I just found out on Monday that we are expecting twins, and I already have a 14 month old, so I'm worried how I will cope. Its really not sunk in yet, and I am trying to focus on the positives, but its all very overwhelming at the moment!! I live near Ipswich and wondered if there is anyone else out there pregnant with twins closeby who might like some mutual support!!