Separate wing of house for twins at what age?

[Nigatsudo]

Hello! We are looking to buy a house out of London. I'm expecting twins (my first pregnancy) and we want more space and proximity to countryside. We've found a very characterful period house that has 4 bedrooms but they're split between two separate wings each with own staircase that on the ground floor are divided by several rooms. We don't know the sex of the babies yet but if they're same sex was imagining they might share til 8yrs or so. If bg then we'd separate sooner. I'd welcome your thoughts on when you'd think children would be mature enough to have their own wing. I was thinking adolescence- maybe 12/13? Obviously a lot depends on their feelings and development. Ideally they'd both go to the second wing rather than one on their own. I wouldn't want to be that far away from them as even older children 8-11yrs) as we wouldn't be able to hear them and it would be a long distance to walk to us. Thanks for all thoughts in advance!

I would keep looking for a suitable house OP.

@Nigatsudo if the construction and configuration of the building won't allow you to knock through and create access easily upstairs then I would forget it. It's not a suitable home

It sounds quite like what we owned, ours was originally two cottages and there was a staircase each end BUT the major difference was that a long landing had been created upstairs with access to all 4 bedrooms. So there was no problem- it was just extra convenient to access upstairs from either end of the house.

You might get a few years when it would work (when they’re towards the bottom of secondary school imo) but as they get older and are going out by themselves you’d want to hear that they were home. Also if they’re not well (at any age) I’d want to be able to hear them.

I’d keep the house search going if I was you!

Yet again, twattish response <yawn>

our house is old, so main bedroom on ground floor, two other bedrooms upstairs with separate staircases, guest bedroom elsewhere

This isn’t a house for a family with small kids, my ds was 14yo, so utterly perfect that he’s at one end of house, we’re at other.

would hate to live with rooms next to me now.

@Nigatsudo without seeing the FP, I don’t think this is a good house for you, as you say, you’ll be all bunched up for like 8-10 years

you need to buy something that does work for you from the word go, or configurable to do so.

Just park the twins in the west wing with the nanny, they'll be fine.

I think 'wings' had made it sound grander and more distant than it really is! It's two small dwellings made into one but in a seemingly impractical way for a family.

Keep looking for something that flows like a normal family home.

I doubt you’d be able to knock through - probably listed

I wouldn't be keen, my youngest is 9 and still comes to us sometimes if she wakes up in the night. I don't think I'd want them that far away until secondary school age so 11. So if you have a boy & girl that's a long time for them to share.
This would put me off buying this house tbh.

It's not really though is it, if they're buying a "forever home" then of course it's a concern how the bedroom layout will work in the future

My view is clouded.

All my mates live in normal size homes with common layouts. Except one. They live in a huge, rambling, 6 bedroom, 6 bathroom, country house. Almost a mansion really.

One of their sons choaked when he was 12 in his bedroom. He was miles away from the family who were downstairs in the kitchen. They heard nothing. He died.

I've often wondered if it would have been different if he'd have been in close range of getting help. Too late now.

So, my view is it is always too young to have the set up you are considering.

If you can't knock through a passageway between the two upstairs areas, I'd keep looking. Can you imagine knowing your kids were 2 staircases away if the kitchen went on flames? Down then up again, possibly past the flames?
I wouldn't, sorry. But if you can be sure you can knock a door through, then sure.

The children aren’t even born yet! In my opinion it’s not sensible to base a house purchase on what the situation might be in 10 years time. Dealing with actual 8/10/12 year olds is probably going to be very different to the op’s current speculation. If they love the house, I’m sure they can make it work. People do actually seem to manage to successfully rear children in quite large houses, with many different room layouts. Probably a lot safer than a high rise block of flats.

I’d look at how you can cleverly reconfigure as there must be a way… maybe see an architect?

the twins rooms should def have a secret passage between them!!!!

You don't know what the future will hold and what your children will be like yet. If you are unsure then I'd keep looking. My twins are nearly 8 but it will be a while before they're ready for separate rooms. One followed the other down to get a drink last week because he didn't want to be in the room on his own!
My 16 year old has ADHD and autism and until recently I had to be on alert for him getting up in the night so being in a whole other part of the house wouldn't work for him.

I absolutely need to see this house.

would be so much fun for them when older but I wouldn't buy it for little ones.

I think the problem is not so much how to reconfigure it but more if they are allowed to.I am guessing a 300 year old house is listed ?

To me it seems a crazy idea to buy a house with 4 bedrooms and spend 4 bedrooms worth of money when effectively you are going to only have 2 bedrooms for the next decade.

Yes the twins can share but do you really want to be forced into them sharing? What if one sleeps well and one sleeps terribly when they are toddlers and the bad sleeper keeps waking the good sleeper up? Or what if they both sleep badly and keep waking each other up. A house with 2 bedrooms is fine for two kids if that is what you can afford. But if you can afford 3 bedrooms (or 4!) then everyone’s life would be so much nicer.

Mine are 14 and 11 and I still like having them close by.

I'd love a house with separate wings... I'd have one and DH could have the other. I wouldn't hear him snoring.

<totally misses the point>

I'd keep looking. Children like to be near their parents until early teens imo. I remember waking up and lying in bed at around age 12 after a nightmare, convinced there was someone in the house, and being very relieved to hear my father gently snoring two rooms away with the upstairs landing doors open.

Maybe look for a different house. Teenagers need your love and support more than ever. A physical distance may not be suitable for you all tbh. You have no idea about their personalities and needs at this point

Teenagers will love that but probably not before.

I wouldn't worry, I'm sure an architect can work out reordering it before you reach the age where sharing is an issue

Not if it’s listed, mitogoshi.

And also, come to think of it, this configuration might make it very hard to sell going forward.

(Would love to see the Rightmove entry)