How do you afford childcare with twins?

[mamabeeboo]

I've just had my 12 week scan, and found out that I am due to have twins! A total shock and over the weekend I have had a wide range of emotions and worries.

The cost of childcare in the UK is a joke. I am the main breadwinner, so I will be working full time after 6 months of mat leave. DH has worked really hard to get where he is (qualifications, tests etc) and would struggle on his own with twins (and 2yr old DS at home). We have our parents help, but they are in their 60s/70s and very unfair to ask them to help regularly with twins.

We want to look at fulltime childcare options. For those out there who have twins (or more), how have you been able to afford childcare? In the area we are in, we are looking at around £2.5-3k a month in nursery fees, which will bankrupt us. I have tried to look for alternatives/sibling discounts etc, but it's only knocking off £100 or so a month.

My sister and I both had DT before DC1 was 2. I stopped work until DT went to school and then worked PT and ramped up from there. We had no childcare or support from others and it was really hard. My DSis (higher earner of the two of them) went back to work in senior role at 0.8 FTE and hired a full time nanny who looked after their children in their house which was the only option for them. BIL and DSis had demanding jobs with travel and even with FT nanny (who covered DSis work hours plus one evening a fortnight), and they also had a cleaner. They are/were both high earners. We’ve struggled financially TBH. There are no easy answers. Congratulations on your pregnancy: find others online or IRL for your forthcoming adventure. It will save your sanity.

Congratulations! I think given the ages of your DC a nanny will be the best option for you.

Congratulations!! - I know it is a shock to start with isn’t it! Wonderful though.

I went part time, 3 full days. Not going to lie, I made no money until they went to school. Dp’s wages had to also to be factored into nursery.

Things get slightly easier when you get your funding at 3 years.

Looking back, I was exhausted, 5 Year old and twins, school run, nursery run, laundry (there is a lot believe me), endless housework, cooking, juggling stressful job etc - you get the picture. All while making no money!!

i should have got a nanny!! My life would have been so much less stressful, would have not cost as much, probably could have afforded a cleaner too…

I was working 3 days a week before I went on mat leave with the twins. My boss offered me 2 days on return with my mat coved staying on for a while. I find working 2 or 3 days is a good balance, keeps my brain active and enough time at home to keep on top of things there. It costs us about £750 a month in nursery fees (2 days) after sibling discounts and tax free childcare. I earn enough to have a few hundred over after paying nursery. However, when I go back to 3 days I won’t be much better off as the 2 days uses up my tax allowance nicely. But things will ease when we receive the 30 hours at 3.

Every family does things differently. I have a reception aged child too and it was very tight when when she was in nursery too, although nursery gave us extra sibling discount for 3.

Some families go back to work FT, some go back PT, some decide to have a SAHP- one mum I knew did this, she earned minimum wage, had a school aged child and twin babies and she couldn’t make childcare work on her salary. But if you’re a higher earner, taking a career break might mean going back in at a lower level. Some families work opposite hours, one does office hours and the other does evenings.

It’s a shock when you first find out but you’ll figure it out.

Have you looked into a nanny at all?

I'll go back to FT over three days (nursing) and DH will condense his work and have a day off in the week so we only need two days' nursery. On our incomes, that will still pretty much one of us is working for 'nothing'. But career prospects/pension contributions are important in the long term so we'll be gritting our teeth through it. We're really lucky to work places that are flexible otherwise one of us would be giving up work entirely.

With difficulty, used savings, loans and credit towards the end. We got a 5% sibling discount.

I went back part time 3 days a week when they turned one, and I am very glad I did. If I had stayed out of my workplace until they started school I would have been totally screwed over in terms of career progression. Going back PT still held me back but now they are 12 I am back to where I should be in terms of my career.

And congratulations!

Similar to you I had twins when DD was 2.

I ended up going PT and getting a Nanny as it was cheaper than 3 lots of nursery fees.

I had one who was ofsted registered so we could use the child care vouchers, which I understand has now been replaced by the government scheme.

In all honesty until they started in reception it It meant I was paying out as much as I brought in.

But our wonderful Nanny would rock up at 7.30am and take over, do the kids homemade food, clean and sort all the kids laundry , Take them to baby &toddler groups etc which meant that when I walked in the door at 6pm I could kick off my shoes and play/cuddle and spend quality time with the 3 of them before bedtime.

It kept me sane! I kept my career coasting along, we had support from someone experienced, and based on costs it was actually cheaper than 3 lots of nursery fees.

Congratulations!

Forgive me if you already know this, but you may well be eligible for tax free childcare which effectively knocks 20% off your childcare bill.

Some settings offer a small discount for multiples.

But you may find yourself financially better off to not work (either you or husband). Or cutting hours down to keep in the game, and back up to full time once you're eligible for 'free' hours the term after they turn 3 years.

Not to stress you out more, but it may be wise to have a look at what's available locally asap. I had both of my children down for their nursery places when I was pregnant. One only got the hours I needed because someone who'd registered before me didn't take their place!

We're another family who had one under two when twins made their appearance. It's tough! We have a nanny but it's a constant struggle between earning enough to fund childcare and never seeing them and basically keeling over from exhaustion, or freeing some time to be with them and having nothing left before they are three.

If Rishi bloody Sunak would get his finger out and fund 30 hours for two year olds it would save us £30k. He won't, of course.

Like others, one of us has had to retrain with a view to being able to cover holidays and after school once they are finally in nursery.

But, the up side is twins are delightful! Ours are so easy going compared to our single one. They bring their own companion and watching them happily rough and tumble over each other in a year or two makes every sacrifice worthwhile.

It's so expensive. I have 2 year old twins, and work full time. My childcare bill is over €3,000 per month.
It's much cheaper to find a child-minder who will mind the twins in their house. Also, could you condense hours into 4 days a week?

A friend had twins. She went for a nanny option. It worked out better for so so many reasons. The nanny came to her home in the morning and helped care for the children.

Just thinking about the morning logistics of getting 2 little ones ready and off to sometimes location....

It may be worth joining the various twin support groups for twins to get tips

Congratulations and all the very best

Can you afford a nanny? Likely cheapest option with 3.

If not, can you afford to do without dh's wage? Most straightforward option if you can't afford childcare is for him to stop working for now.

Alternatively, can you afford a mix of dh compressing hours plus limited (but regular) help from parents to allow dh to work part-time.

There is no point, if you are the main breadwinner, financially of messing about with your hours.

Dh was a SAHD for several years for childcare reasons while I worked fulltime. No, it wasnt his favourite and best all the time but it kept dcs safe, fed, warm, housed.

Thank you everyone for your very helpful replies. I didn't consider a nanny because I assumed they wouldn't take tax free childcare payments. Would the nanny do all the childcare in the house including cooking for the kids? The nanny territory is alien to me, so any advice would be appreciated.

I work remotely, so whilst I love the nanny idea, I am a bit cautious of the little ones kicking off because they know I'm upstairs working, and will see me pop downstairs every so often to make a cuppa etc.

Don’t pop downstairs. Kettle, mugs, supplies, packed lunch upstairs. Cooking for kids etc yes if you agree up front (also kids laundry potentially). Depends on the person.

A nanny has to be ofsted registered for the discount to apply. It's not a big deal, but we couldn't get it because our nanny is older and has 30 years experience. Her qualifications aren't recognised by them any more 😅

'Little ones kicking off'

Yes, that is definitely a thing. We er maxxed out everything that isn't going on childcare to build a garden room/day classroom/ office - but only when the kids aren't in it.

And yes, any decent nanny should cook for kids and have a bit of a tidy round in quiet moments. We really don't take advantage of ours and have never asked, but the house is definitely nicer when she's around.

Keep or get a good cleaner though. That's where the line is drawn, and I promise that when two sets of tiny hands start pincering food off their high chair trays at warp speed you will not want to be doing the floors yourselves.

Love our nanny, you worth it when you have 2+ at home. She cooks for them. She's looked after my eldest on occasion, and when one of the boys is sick she's usually still ok to have them - one has a tummy bug, no nursery would have them but the nanny just had a snuggly sofa day with cbeebies instead of the planned outing. I'd have had SOOmuch time off this year I they d been in nursery, and it would have cost more!

I'm the main earner - I took a bank loan out for £25k (read about others doing this!) - 10 year repayments - monthly about £275 - do the max top up into tax free childcare account every quarter - draw down on that for a childminder. Childminder is £85 per day for both also negotiated "term time only" which also brings cost down. Worked out this will cover us until 30 hours kicks in

I think a nanny is the most straightforward option because otherwise someone is ALWAYS home sick.

Thing is nannies are financially prohibitively expensive for most people - they cost far more than childminders and many nurseries even

I'm not sure about that - our nanny is half the cost of nursery per hour. But she is also there to help with older dcs.

We have been very lucky and found someone older, and who is happy with less than full-time hours. With nursery you are either booked in and pay for the full morning and/or afternoon or not, whereas we can move hours around as we need them. It cuts both ways of course, and we've had to make work choices around being equally flexible for our nanny including if she is ill.

There's no ideal option unfortunately. It's just incredibly hard.

A full time nanny is not going to cost you less than £2.5k-£3k a month I'm afraid.

Congratulations! I don't have twins, but I happened across this. A friend of mine has twins and they alternate so only one twin is in nursery on any one day. She or the grandparents therefore have less pressure and get quality time with each twin. It's definitely not for everyone, but potentially something to consider. They do have days when they have both twins at home to look after, so they also get the time together!