Just been told I'm having twins... I'm in shock!

[NotAClue82]

Went for an early scan today (am 9+2 weeks) hoping to see one healthy little baby... Only to be told I'm having twins!!!

Needless to say I'm in shock! I already have a preschooler and wasn't expecting twins!

It's not really the thought of having twins that scares me (yes, I'm probably naive!), I'm more worried about complications that might occur during pregnancy.

My twins are monochorionic (I had never even heard this word before and had to google!). The sonographer told me she can't say whether they'll be identical, but Dr. Google tells me this type of twin almost always is identical. So I'm confused!

Just looking for reassurance from anyone who's had twins - And specifically from anyone who's had (or knows about!) the monochorionic type!

How many weeks did you get to?
And can they be born vaginally?
Did you ever sleep again?

Thanks guys!!!

I'm with you on the wine! I'm really missing it (that sounds awful, doesn't it?)

It does not sound awful! In fact I continued to have a small amount of wine (maybe one glass a week?) when I found out I was pregnant, I only stopped when I started to feel really sick. So here you go

Thanks. Feeling sick right now, but might allow myself the odd little glass when I get to 12 weeks. Cheers!

Cheers It's nice chatting to other (expectant) mums of twins on these boards. Since finding out I'm having twins I feel quite separated from my (singleton) pregnant friends in real life, I guess because I'm faced with lots of different issues they don't have to think about! So it's nice to chat to people in the same boat

My surprise pregnancy turned out to be twins. I cried for 3 weeks after that first scan. But it was lovely. I made it to 38+5 and had a planned section because they were both transverse. They were very big (boy was 8lb 7oz and girl was 7lb 5oz) and were actually very easy. I had a two and a half year old and a 17 month old when they were born so very busy but they were exclusively breast fed for 16 months (longer than either of my singletons). They slept together in a crib, then in a cot bed and then in two cot beds strapped together with no bars down the middle. We only separated them when they stopped sleeping and preferred wrestling each other!! They are three and a half now and it's amazing. I'm so proud of them every single day. And quite proud of myself too!!!
You will get your head round the idea and it does get very exciting. Many people will be in awe of you after they arrive.
Congratulations and good luck for a smooth pregnancy. And enjoy all the extra scans!! I did!

olaf thank you so much for your ace contribution, that's probably the most positive story I've heard so far! I love the idea of them sleeping in two cot beds strapped together. With regards to breastfeeding, did you feed them on demand or did you always feed them both at the same time? I breastfed my older one on demand but I don't know if that would be a bad move with twins... Also, my older one didn't have much of a routine until he was about 2. We liked taking him out to friends&dinner&gigs in the evening and he would just sleep and eat when he was hungry/tired. It really suited us all - he was happy and we loved the freedom - but somehow I can't picture that working with twins! Did you try to slot the twins in with your elder children's routine?

Olaf the words "they were actually very easy" are music to my ears - thank you! I'm not crying (yet) but it has been an anxious 24 hours and I am worried about how I will cope.

They were fed on demand. They had a breast each. Lg always fed off the left, lb fed off the right. I tandem fed for the first three weeks with a big twin feeding pillow but was such a faff. As soon as one got settled the other would let go then in getting that one latched again the other would start mucking about so I fed them one at a time after that. I think it helped them settle being in the same bed together. I would feed them and change them and they were put down right next to each other to sleep. They would cuddle into each other and suck each other's fists. Oh I miss them being babies. I have a 4 month old singleton now and I confess I was disappointed it wasn't twins again. I loved having twin babies! Bear in mind for the future that once you've had non identical twins you have an 80% chance of having multiples again!!

Hey Alice, Have you been feeling anxious about the pregnancy or about the prospect of having two babies? One thing I've learnt having my last baby (who was a "surprise" baby, also premature at a time that me&any husband were between jobs and between houses) is that you do just cope and get on with things. Not only that but I actually loved the newborn stage! I hope I'm going to love it again.

Cross post olaf, thanks for explaining! Mine are identical so I don't think I'm prone to twins

We are 8 weeks on with DCDA boys I got to 37+5 then I had a section. They were 7lb9 and 6lb8 and the pregnancy was really straightforward, the same as with my singleton. Best of luck.

That's a big question, NotaClue.

It took me a long time to decide that I wanted to try for a baby. Partly this was down to a longstanding fear of childbirth but also anxiety about how well I would cope with a baby. Being an older mum, I've had plenty of chance to observe friends with children and have seen from them exactly how hard it can be to deal with sleep deprivation, breast feeding, birth injuries etc.

I got my head round the fact that I would somehow be able to cope with a single baby somehow, then found out it was twins. I don't have much experience of looking after babies and my family live a long way away, as do DH's. Looking after two babies when I don't know what I'm doing just seems like an enormous mountain to climb. Plus, financially, things are going to be very tight. I'm in a good job, but even so, two lots of nursery fees will basically wipe out the equivalent of my entire salary.

Hi Alice,

I totally get what you mean about the nursery fees... I waited (impatiently!) to have another child for my eldest would be in school so I wouldn't have to pay double nursery fees... Only to be expecting twins! I think a nanny might even be cheaper, though either way, like you say - Childcare will wipe out my entire salary.

I totally appreciate that you're extra-anxious because they are your first babies... And I know that sometimes it "looks" really hard when you look at other people with young children (as you say: sleep deprivation! Birth stuff! Breastfeeding!)... But honestly, there are also many parents out there (perhaps they are not as vocal!) who find being parents not that tough. Of course it's "hard" being a parent (after all, you are responsible for another person's life), and some bits are "really hard", but lots of bits are sort of easy as well! That's just my view of it, anyway... And it probably helps if you have low standards like me : For the beginning bit the baby just needs to be warm, fed & loved, and that's sort of okay! Don't get me started on dealing with three year olds though...-

Anyway, I don't mean to say it will be easy, I guess I just think that it won't ALL be HARD. It's one of the annoying things about becoming a parent - Everyone loves to tell you how HARD it will be (you'll never sleep again, blah blah blah), and people's "helpful comments" are even worse when you're expecting twins...!

Ahhh don't get me started on the "helpful" advice people give you when you're pregnant...

In any case, hope you are feeling a bit less anxious. You're currently growing TWO babies, so it's already obvious for that reason alone that you are awesome, & you will cope .

Good night!

Thanks for your message Dorothy & great to hear you had a normal pregnancy & now have two healthy babies! I bet they are lovely!

Thanks, NotaClue, that's a lovely message . You have made me feel better.

How are you feeling generally? I seem to feel more nauseous as each day passes but haven't actually been sick yet.

Hello, just come across this post. I am 10 weeks 4 days with MCDA twins! I found out at a private scan at 7 weeks (only had a scan because i had a miscarriage in march... fell pregnant with the twins 2 weeks later). I have a nearly 3yo. I've worried myself silly since Google showed me TTTS so its lovely to hear positive stories. I'm quite excited for the twins albeit nervous for the pregnancy. Good luck to you all x x

Hi Rosey, welcome to the twin club! How are you feeling? My morning sickness has well and truly kicked in now - I'm coming up to 9 weeks.

I have 9 month old DCDA twins - b/g. I was horrified when I found out, but now, watching them is just the best thing ever. I already had a 2.5 year old, so I was worried about how difficult it would be. And it has been difficult, but I wouldn't change it. The first few months were just a fog. I'm coming t of it now, and have two lovely babies with lovely individual personalities.

I made it to 37 weeks and had a planned c-section. And they've slept through since 6 months, so it's not all doom and gloom.

Toucan, did you request the c section or was it advised? It's obviously early days for me, but my gut feeling is I'd prefer the planned and controlled risks of an elective c section to an induced labour ending in forceps / emergency c section (which has happened to many of my friends).

I'd already decided I wanted one before I knew it was twins, as I had an emergency section with my first. Then at my first appointment with the consultant, he said he strongly advised one anyway. Predictability was important to me after the first time. I believe (although happy to be advised otherwise) that NICE recommendations are to offer elective birth by a certain point depending on which type of twins, and that can mean induction or section. Actually, anybody can request one, single or multiple birth.

My dcda bg twins were born at 37+2 after being induced due to obstetric cholestasis. I was very lucky to be able to have a relatively easy vaginal birth with both (needed a ventouse with my ds who is nearly 4). However my consultant was more than happy to support whatever birth method I wanted and c sections are very common anyway with twins. I was asked at my first appointment what I wanted in theory and we just reviewed it each time.
my 2 are now 14 weeks and whilst it's not easy, especially with a crazy older ds, it really isn't as bad as I thought!

Congratulations all! What lovely news! I know it's an enormous shock... I think I was in shock until around 6 months, but you will get used to the idea and everyone will be so excited for you.

For those having first babies, I was totally clueless and quite scared but to be honest I think it just becomes your normal, and not knowing anything different is kind of helpful. Also, if you have subsequent babies it will be so much easier!

I'd echo others in terms of staying off google, at least until you know what you should be googling. My MCDA girls are 4 now and in answer to your questions:

1. 36 +4
2. My Twin A was born vaginally, then I ended up with a emergency C-section for Twin B because she decided to do flips once her sister was out and she had plenty of space. To be honest, by that point I really didn't care as long as they were both out and ok.
3. Only in about the last year, and now I'm having another (just 1 this time!) but it's totally worth it.

Take care all!

E xx

I have DCDA boys who are now 3.7 years. They were born 2 days after my older son turned 3. They were born vaginally at 37+4 following an induction. They were 6lb 8 and 6lb 1. Breastfed all three of them to 14 months (as in oldest one breastfed until he was 14 months. I didn't breastfeed him until the twins were that age). Other people seem to think that's somehow heroic but if breastfeeding comes easy (it was a hundred times easier the second time even with twice the number of babies!) then it is much easier and less of a faff, although it means the night feeds are solely up to you.

All mine are IVF. I was pretty shocked despite having two embryos put back as the doctors and nurses kept harping on about my advanced age (38). Having struggled a lot with my first I thought it would be impossible with two. Couldn't imagine how I'd give birth to two of them let alone everything else afterwards. It turned out to be fine. The treatment I got throughout the pregnancy was way better than with my singleton. As a very nervous IVF mum all the extra scans were reassuring in a way. Apart from sickness all the way through (which I had with my singleton pregnancy too) it was a healthy pregnancy. I was massive and tired and could barely walk by the end but we were all fine.

The twins are awesome now and their big brother loves them. We found that the difficult period he (understandably!) had after they were born was longer than friends with singleton second-borns but now they are a little gang and love each other fiercely. The twins idolise him and he is a fantastic big brother.

As PPs have said, accept any offers of help (you will get more than those with one baby get), focus on essentials only (getting to the end of the day with everyone alive and fed), and try to enjoy it when you can. Singleton parents will think you are a total hero and completely amazing. Just bask in the glory .

Good luck all of you. It is an amazing thing to be a twin parent.

I'm 18+4 with DCDA girls- first ever pregnancy.

Had mild morning sickness from 6-10 weeks and have been ok ever since really. Just at the stage now where I'm starting to get achy sitting at my desk at work and I feel massive even though I'm only measuring about 4 weeks ahead and haven't put on any weight yet.

I actually took the whole twins thing quite well- found out at 9 weeks when I was in hospital for something else. I had thought the whole way through that I thought I might have twins- maternal Grandmother had 2 sets.

I figure first time parenting is going to be hard whether it's 1 or 2 and we won't know any different - so it'll just be hard and that's ok!