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Multiple births

When do you start showing with twins? What is life with twins like? Join the conversation on our Multiple Births forum.

I'm pregnant with twins aaaaargh!!!!!

53 replies

leogaela · 15/08/2006 09:40

I am 9.6 weeks pregnant and had a scan yesterday!
Doctor says they look as if they are identical !

I burst into tears of shock when he told me!

Ds will just be 2 when they are born !

I am so worried about the practical things and how the hell I am ever going to go out with all 3 children for the first 4 years!

Please tell me lots of positive things about having twins and that I will be able to cope! Also any advice about the pregnancy, doctor says that I have to be extra careful (not easy with a very active 18month old)!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
sallystrawberry · 15/08/2006 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

speedymama · 15/08/2006 13:50

I wanted to carry on working full time until I was 35 weeks. However, I had problems with fibroids breaking down in my womb and had to be hospitalised. Also, I put on so much weight (4.5 stone) that I had trouble walking, my back constantly ached and I was always tired. Consequently, I stopped working at 32 weeks instead.

I went back to work 3 days a week when the boys were 7 months because I wanted to. DH and I have no family and friends nearby and after 6 months I felt isolated. Now I have a good work/home balance and the boys love their nursery.

Ultimately, you have to do what is right for you.

harrogatemum · 15/08/2006 14:15

Big Congrats Leogaela, unyummymummy and Rachelw.

I have DTs of 21 months - non-id boys and am expecting another (one!) in November when they will just have turned 2 so I too have the logistical problem of moving them around!

Having twins is the greatest fun - its hard work but the pleasure you will get when they are playing together and laughing is immeasurable (of course there is the biting/hitting/kicking/stealing each others toys etc as well....).

Re a buggy - I have a Mclaren Twin Traveller which has seen me from the twins birth and is still going strong.

And the comments you get when they are tiny - I almost got a t-shirt printed that said "F**k off I am doing my shopping" on it as old ladies used to stop me and grip the handle of my trolley thereby stopping me from moving on as they admired the boys!

Best of luck to all of you - hope to see you over on the "how did life get like this" thread soon!

throckenholt · 15/08/2006 14:22

congratulations all round.

I have id twin boys (3.5) and Ds1 who is 5.

If they are id you should expect fortnightly scans from about 15 weeks - and it can all get a bit scary at times - if you want to talk feel free to mail me at julie at highfields1 plus com (fill in the dots).

Pregnancy - sleep as much as you can - make use of those naps that your toddler has - don't rush around doing things.

Twins are a great experience (hard work) - a real privilege.

Also - not sure if anyone has mentioned it - have a look at twinsclub.co.uk - very active forums that can be great for finding people at the same stage as you (mumsnet it more fun in a general sense though ).

musicbugs · 15/08/2006 16:40

Definately agree with earlier posts about being stopped everywhere you go. Usually old ladies Im afraid (although I hate to stereotype)

Questions to expect...

Natural or IVF
Twins in the family?
Identical or Non?
How much did they weigh?
Oh you had a greedy one that took all the food did you
Ceasarian or vaginal delivery
Breast or Bottle
Which one came first

bt the most breathtaking statement of all.....

This one is my favourite, which one is yours?

You will need to either have flyers printed out (so that you can save yourself the hassle of answering) or come up with a suitably curt response.

People might also be very insensitive and peer over the pram at the babies, whilst completely ignoring your eldest which can be very

Tis all great though, you will have more laughs then tears!

MarsLady · 15/08/2006 16:47

Toilet Duck. Sigh.................

NAB3 · 15/08/2006 16:48

The positive side is that you are pregnant with twins. I lost one of mine and still grieve for him. It will be hard but you will get through it.

musicbugs · 15/08/2006 16:51

I'm very sorry to hear that NAB3

NAB3 · 15/08/2006 16:52

Also get a good double buggy (side by side not tandem) and a sling. Use washable nappies as disposables will cost you a fortune. You 'll be washing so much any way you won't notice 3 extra loads a week. Take up all offers of help. Register with homestart to get another pair of hands a couple of times a week. If you are going to send your older one/move rooms/into a bed/potty train make sure you don't do it too close to the babies coming so he doesn't feel pushed out. Good luck. I am so jealous, but happy happy happy for you.

MarsLady · 15/08/2006 17:06

agree not a tandem! Side by side so much better and easier for you to deal with the babies.

NAB3 I'm sorry for your loss honey.

NAB3 · 15/08/2006 18:13

Thanks MarsLady and musicbugs.

I always knew if we tried for number 3 we would have 3 and 4, I just expected to have both boys here.

Kameko043 · 15/08/2006 18:31

Congratulations

I'm a SAHM with 3 yr old Fraternal Twin Boys.

Best Advice I ever received: Get them on the same schedule. Eating, drinking, napping, playtime, bathing, etc. Be consistent with your routine, less stress on everyone.

Anyone offers to help out, take them up on it. Shop, cook, laundry, run errands, take them up on the offer.

Others have covered the topic of being stopped every 5 minutes or 5 feet and being asked loads of Q's.

Funniest things I've ever experienced:

1- A Woman stopped me and asked if the Boys were Twins. I responded yes. She replied, no they aren't, they don't look anything alike. I said they are Fraternal Twins. She replied Twins are identical and you certainly don't have Twins. I realized this Woman had her mind made up and nothing was going to change it. Poor dear, she missed Biology 101.

2- A Woman stopped me and asked if the Boys were Twins. I responded yes. She looked confused and said to me, what does that mean. Okay, well you asked. Right there on the sidewalk I told her the difference between Fraternal and Identical Twins. She thanked me for the information.

One Q I'm asking constantly: do Twins run in your family, I respond with Yes on both sides.

DH & I have Twin Boys
My Grandfather was a Twin. His Brother died at age 3mo.
DHs' Brother and Wife have Twin Boys
DHs' Moms' Cousins are Id Twin Girls
DHs' Dads' Cousins are ID Twin Boys

Good Luck

Milge · 15/08/2006 18:44

Congratulations! I have 3yo non ID twins and was in complete denial until they were born that I would end up with 2 newborns at the same time.
I kept them to a strict routine, if one woke in the night for food, I would feed the other at the same time. I viewed the first 3 months like a military operation and was v strict.I adapted "nobody's" daily routine and it worked for me.
I used bouncy chairs and bumbos to feed them in until they could sit upright in highchairs.
I used a sling and a single pushchair until they were big enough to sit upright.

Rest during the pg is important and you may wish to finish work earlier than you would do with a singleton, don't underestimate the strain on your body of nurtering 2 babies and if it is telling you to take it easy, then do so. You will get very big and cumbersome towards the end so accept any offers of help.

The worst thing about twins is people on the street stopping you for a gawp.I also felt like hanging signs round their necks:
Yes, they are twins
No, they are not identical, they are different sexes
No they are not double trouble
No I didn't get one free in Sainsburys
No, I haven't got my handsfull.

You'll find great support on MN - there are many mums of multiples.
Good luck!

Overrun · 15/08/2006 20:57

throckenholt
I can't remember if we have spoken before, but you seem to have the same gap between your boys as mine.
Mine are 3.6 and 21 months. I hope you don't mind me asking, but how do you feel about having three boys. Please feel free not to answer.
The reason why I ask, is that this is quite an emotive issue for me, I really wanted a daugther and had a bit of a hard time adjusting to having three boys.
Now I love having boys, they are so much fun, but so active it is unbelievable what three boys can get up to.
I get fed up of people saying "oh three boys, poor you!" and also shaking their heads with pity/amusement. Do you get this? I feel like boys are stigmatised a bit. do you know what I mean?

musicbugs · 15/08/2006 20:57

Ha, yes! the old "but one, get one free?" joke, so funny when you have heard it 20 times (not)

Overrun · 15/08/2006 20:57

sorry realise that this is a hijack!

musicbugs · 15/08/2006 20:59

meant to say "buy one, get one free"

devondoris · 15/08/2006 21:05

Congratulations! Very scary news and it's taken me a good few weeks to get my head round it - I was told at my 20 week scan, which was 11 weeks ago.

Re the pg thing, I'm needing to stop now and I'm 31 weeks. I get around OK, but I often feel out of breath, sometimes from just coming upstairs, or from walking to the door and talking to someone on the doorstep! We don't have a big house. I've got friends who had twins, one of whom was on crutches at 20 weeks because her pelvis started to separate early, and one who was in a wheelchair to go round the supermarket at 30 weeks. So be prepared! I can still walk three miles, though it'll take me 3 hours... (Did it the other weekend by accident.) You've seriously, seriously got to listen to your body because it WILL tell you what you should not be doing. This is the first week that I've done that properly and I feel so much better.

Also keep a check on your iron levels - low iron can make you breathless, BUT make sure you get the actual numbers from the docs/midwives - a healthy pregnancy Hb count is 9.5 to 10.5. If it's higher there's more chance that you could end up with toxaemia. Also get them to tell your MCV (mean corpuscular volume) which should be above 84 in pregnancy. If those figures are around that mark by 30 odd weeks, then you're not anaemic, and you're doing very well. Also, it's worth taking a special vitamin and mineral supplement for pregnancy even if you've got a good diet. You're local health food shop will have a good one. If you do need to catch up a bit on iron, don't use the prescription pills as they can give you gut problems (constipation and the like) but get some Floradix or Spatone, also from the health food shop. They're both very gentle forms of iron that your body can absorb well and that don't have any nasty after affects. Floradix will increase your Hb count by about 1 point per week, and you can double the dose if you need to.

There's lots of information about these kinds of things on the Association of Radical Midwives website, which is where I got all of this from when I was told I was anaemic two weeks ago! My Hb is 10.7 and MCV is 89 so actually I'm fine. I've found it's really useful to be knowledgable about twin pregnancy so you can ask the right questions and challenge any answers that you're not sure about. I've begun being treated with much more respect by both my community midwives and the hospital lot too.

Emma Mahoney's Double Trouble book is very good for practical info, both pregnancy and after. I'm about to get hold of another three books, kindly donated by my mother in law, so I'll let you know if any of them are useful once I've read them!

Multiple Birth Foundation has lots of guidelines and stuff too which you can buy from the website, but be careful because they can be a bit scary - if you're not keen on too many statistics and some of the negative stuff about twins probably best to keep away. Personally I like to know EVERYTHING, so I found it very helpful.

Local Sure Start twins clubs are also quite helpful to go along to, just to see how other Mums cope "in the flesh". I've gone to one and taken DD with me - she's loved it and got into the activities and playing with the other children, AND the babies too, so it's been a good experience for her as well as me. And you don't have to do anything except drink tea and sit and rest and chat.

Hope this isn't too much info! Can't give you anything about the other side of birth, but the D'you ever thread has some great people who share wonderful things! The toilet duck has got me VERY worried as I've got two boys on the way... BOYS!!!

Will post again if I find anything else that might be useful. Sorry I've got such happy typing fingers!

Keep well!

Doris

devondoris · 15/08/2006 21:06

That was a huge post - sorry!
D

MarsLady · 15/08/2006 22:39

oh devon it was the GIRL twin that started it lol Just don't buy the stuff, you'll be fine

speedymama · 16/08/2006 08:56

I think it might have been mentioned before but TAMBA is worth joining. I have bought several booklets from them and they have been very useful.

Also, like others have said, routine, routine, routine. That is is the only way that DH and I could cope and by the time they were 12 weeks, we had everything under control and we are still like that now.

Like others have said, listen to your body. I had to succumb in the end to mother nature and I'm glad I did.

My boys are fraternal twins and mixed race. One has fair hair and blue eyes and the other dark hair and brown eyes. You can imagine the confusion that causes. I'm always asked if they are twins, if they are boys (a lot of people still think they girls, even now), if they are mine and why does one have blue eyes and the other brown and so forth.

However, the worst experience I have had since having them was when they were about 5 months old. We were in a shop and this guy looked at the boys, looked at me and said to the blue eye twin, "Your pretty but she (pointing to me) is really ugly". He laughed and walked off. I was too shocked to say anything but the fact that someone would do that demonstrates that there are unpleasant people out there.

Anyway, for all the multiple birth mums to be out there, enjoy your pregnancy and get as much rests as you can before the whirlwind starts.

leogaela · 16/08/2006 09:25

thanks again everyone! I've got loads more questions to ask you all but at the moment I'm reading your posts but at work and am not going to manage to reply properly for a while!

Congratulations Doris - phew, not long to wait now! I joked this morning about dh having to push me around in a wheelchair , i'm not very big and am worried about where 2 babies are going to fit!

Any more books to read and routine recommendations? I was a feed on demand mum with ds and a rubbish at routines but I realise this time a routine is going to be the only way to save my sanity!

OP posts:
MarsLady · 16/08/2006 09:30

Try not to read too many books darling. They may freak you out and also different people have different views.

I think you've had some good suggestions for books here, but the best thing is the actual life experience of twin mums and dads.

Are you over the shock yet?

leogaela · 16/08/2006 09:40

I'm over the initial shock. The wonderful response from people here on MN has really helped and I'm feeling quite happy now !
I'm working out in my mind how to get around the practical problems as well.
Dh is thrilled which helps a lot !

OP posts:
MarsLady · 16/08/2006 09:44

That's not all the helping he'll be doing lol!

All you need to do is ask. We're here to listen, wail and help lol.

It is truly wonderful having twins (even the ones that love Toilet Duck!). You'll be knackered at the beginning, then it will all settle in and you'll just walk with such pride lol. You can't quite help yourself feeling a wee bit smug that the new mothers you pass only managed to produce one in their pregnancy whilst clever you managed two! lol

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