how can I boost ds's self esteem he's dealing with negative comments about his colour

[ilsi]

Can anyone help me out with some advice on how to boost my ds self esteem he's dealing with negative comments about his colour for the first time. I'm black my husband is Italian and we live in a small town in Italy and it's not very cosmopolitan. My ds started primary school in sept. He's started saying thing like "I'm ugly" when I talked to him about it he's tells me it's what his classmates say to him along with other remarks. I've been to the schooland talked to his teachers and there are now dealing with the situation and I'm trying really hard to boost his self esteem and tell him he's special and wonderful and so lucky to have a mummy who comes from ghana and a daddy from italy, and that he's beautiful but he's 6 and really sensitive.

How else can I help him?

i'm bumping this for you. sorry for your little one

How heartbreaking!

Hopefully a poster with similar experiences will come along to offer support/words of wisdom.

I was just wondering ... how is Italian media with regard to black faces? Are black kids featured much in picture books, TV ads, etc? It seems to me that seeing some positive black Italian role models might be a start.

Poor little man

Bumping for ilsi Jr.

OIIII !!!

This is a lovely book about people all being slightly different - hair, skin colour, height etc - here.

Not sure how old your ds is - but i'd say suitable for 0 - 6 ish.

poor little one. Maybe it is an idea that the school, if they are open to it, have a project involving Africa and or other continents, show the children how people live/look outside Italy? Books maybe..

What I have done with my DC is to cook/bake Dutch food with the children at school or for mine to hand out at Sinterklaas for example which always goes down well.

Very difficult one but I bet that he will be very popular with the girls in time to come!

DD had this problem I we made a scrap book with lots of beautiful/famous mixed race women from magazines and papers

It worked really well for her (she was about 7)

Could you maybe go into the school yourself, and talk to the kids about Ghana, take a map/globe and give them an idea of where in Africa it is, etc. Talk about the food, music, culture etc. The more information even little kids have, the less ignorant they will be and less inclined to make generalised comments about skin-colour etc.
Hope you can resolve the situation

Thanks for the suggestions I'll try getting hold of this book in a good few copies to leave at his school.

As for role models I was racking my brains and couldn't think of one. There aren't too many black italians unlike France or the Uk. Then just this morning I saw the F1 pilot Hamilton in the the paper so that's a start. I'm now hunting through magazines and feeling a lot better

God,it sounds like a fantastic mix!
Are you from Ghana or are you British Ghanaian?
Do you speak more then one language?
That is something to 'big up' in the class.

I would ask your teacher for a bit of help with this. Get him to bring in some Ghanaian food or clothes or pictures.

What about finding another mn'er with a mixed race child and let them write letters and send photos to each other? This may help build his confidence?

I'm black (Jamaican parents), DP is white & we live in a mostly white area. DS was teased about his colour at his 1st school so I made sure he had lots of positive black role models & taught him about my culture so that he could be proud. Though I don't necessarily think they're good role models, black football players gave him a bit of respect from his mates. They especially liked calling him Thierry Henry which he loved. So, don't forget to include the "cool" models like musicians, athletes & actors, as well as intellectual & historical figures. I figured anyone he could identify with & feel proud of was good.

His school did have an Africa week, which involved learning about African culture & even had visits from real Zulus, who taught the kids some dances & music. DS really enjoyed it, but it didn't stop the problems he had with the bullies who continued to call him names.

The head of his school seemed helpful & controlled the teasing, but I don't think the bullies actually learned why it was wrong to treat someone badly because of their race.

I think the effort I put into making him feel good about his colour worked because he has a very positive self-image now. I don't believe you can change some people's opinions, so I think it's important to have strong self-pride in order for other people's taunts to bounce off you.

try this book too www.amazon.co.uk/Its-Okay-Different-Todd-Parr/dp/0316155624/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I3GCEZKD4SJT ME&colid=O958ZHSOY0JH

Poor little one! I'm in Italy too and know how racist the Italians can be, mainly through ignorance and the fact there were no colonies to speak of and thus no influx of different races. The media and certain xenophobic political parties don't help either.

As someone suggested I'd use footballers as role models as what with football being a quasi-religion here they have a lot of visibility. It doesn't matter whether they're Italian or not as long as they play for a cool team. Other than that the only black "Italian" I can think of is Fiona May, but that doesn't really help, does it?

does anyone have any good kazakh role models? Please don't say Borat

wasn't there a Kazakhi cosmonaut once?

Here you go KC

it Kazakh (ethnic group) or KAzakhstani (citizen of Kazakhstan any ethnicity) not KAZAKHI!!!

That list is hardly inspiring though is it...

Ilsi, where are you in Italy? Like Brangelina said Italians can be pretty racist, especially in smaller towns . There is this very young footballer playing for Inter, I can't remember his name... hang on

Sorry, I am in Italy after all and that's what they're called here so force of habit. I'd only ever heard the term in Italian or Russian, so apologies for my ignorance

Yes, Vieira plays for Inter and the French national team, so he's pretty cool.

No, I'm speaking of Mario Balotelli, he is a very young and talented player for Inter. I thing he is from Ghana originally (if memory serves me well) and was adopted by an Italian couple as a toddler. there's a website www.mariobalotelli.it i think

Ilsi

Bernard Ribeiro is the President of the Royal College of Surgeons of England and originates from Ghana.

Here is a brief biography.

Also, here is a recent article about Miss Jamaica UK who is a at Imperial College London (3rd best university in the UK) studying medicine.

This is a good website that summarises the achievements of black inventors. For example, Garrett Morgan was a prolific inventor. He first invented the first human hair straightener, the gas mask and traffic lights.

This website details black superheroes like Blade - something that might appeal to young boys!!

Finally, check out Benjamin Zephaniah's poetry - there will definitely be something there that you can use to help your little boy.

Good luck! My mixed race twin boys are 4yo and I surround them with positive black role models from all strata of society. As a black scientist and director, hopefully I will be their most influential role model.

Sorry, here is the link for black superheroes.

How horrible for your son, hope you can find a way to boost his confidence. i wonder if the racism in italy is down to the history of the country? i.e the strong moorish ancestry of most southern italians? kind of a denial thing about their own heritage? just a thought.