Mixed race family, considering moving out of London

[MissM]

DH is Asian, I'm Jewish, our kids are obviously mixed race. We've lived in London for 8 years but have a chance to move out as my job is moving. The thing is, the place we most want to live is very white (there is a small Asian popoulation but it's not very visible). What are people's experiences of being not white outside London/big cities? No-one bats an eye here, but would we be an oddity elsewhere?

I think it depends on exactly where you're thinking about. We're thinking about the same move out of Birmingham and we try the 'corner shop test' - walk into the local corner shop to buy a paper and see if people seem uncomfortable. We've eliminated a couple of areas on that basis, but other places have been great.

As for moving out of London (regardless of race). We were devastated when we had to move away for DH's job.

Best thing we ever did.

Now we like going back to visit but look at the area we used to live - dog shit and broken glass on the pavements, nightmare parking, nightmare schools, nightmare traffic to reach anywhere - and thank our lucky stars that we got out.

Yep, we've got plenty of dogshit! Weirdly crimplene my job won't be a million miles from Birmingham so were even thinking of living there. Seems crazy to move from the captial to the second city though, if your job isn't actually IN that city.

MissM Well, round Birmingham is a bit hit and miss, there are a few noted BNP strongholds where all the white racists from the city have moved out to get away from muticulturalism (same goes for a few of the outer suburbs). We've had incidents in one or two places - pub falls silent and stares at us until we leave on one occasion. A bit further out towards the Welsh border is OK, but check out other areas very, very carefully before you commit yourself - might be worth looking at the size of the BNP vote in the local council election records to get an idea of where to avoid.

There are some really good areas in Birmingham itself with exactly the right mix of leafy bits, good schools and zero racism - plus your commute would be the the opposite direction from eveyone elses, so quite easy.

MissM, I think it depends on where you're going. I'm no longer with ex dh (who is Indian, I'm white) but our son is half Indian with an Indian forename and surname and I moved from London to Devon for a while, which is 99.9% white and didn't like it from that pov. Ex dh was definitely an oddity (I wasn't with him at the time but he did come down to see ds). However, I'm now in SE home counties with dh#2 and it's not an issue at all, we're nearer London I guess and so there are plenty of other nationalities and races here. So I think it depends on the area. We're near Milton Keynes, which is racially mixed.

Ds got into his oversubscribed village school in Devon partly because they found it hard to meet their non white %age, that was the only advantage (school sec admitted that to me, she prob shouldn't have done)

WWW That's really interesting, Devon was top of our list of places to move to. Argh - that may not be ideal if he's the only mixed race, partially sighted kid in a school with the LSA sitting next to him in every lesson; it's just a recipe for bullying isn't it? Perhaps I'm trying to re-create my own childhood for him and it just won't be posisble. Are any bits of Devon better on the racism front?

Crimplene, there was a threaD A while ago started by Herules iirc where some people said parts of Devon were ok for that, will see if I can find it.

here

Oh, thank you. Plymouth or Exeter then! We'll have to keep testing out other places.

I have to say that my Dad lives in a totally white area in Scotland and it's an absolutely great non-racist place. I don't get the impression that there's a very clear correlation between racial diversity and how much racism you experience in most places. We live in one of the most diverse place imaginable, but if we stay, DS would probably be one of only a couple of non-muslims in his class and I had similar images about him being bullied.

We're in a predominantly white area - there is only one other non white child in DSs nursery. But I don't think anyone notices/cares in our village. Maybe because everyone knows each other anyway . We've certainly never had any problems.

Didn't think about BNP strongholds - had no idea there would be some around Birmingham. If we move there it'll be central or south Brum, but would be a further commute for me, hence considering whiter areas. Good tip to check size of vote. Which are the good areas you mention? I have to say I've heard nothing negative about Birmingham from anyone I've spoken to!

I am worried about racism, but you get it everywhere, even in the most diverse areas. I guess it's more the feeling of being an oddity, and the kids not benefitting in all the ways you can from living among many races and cultures. But it looks like a lot of you haven't had that experience.

Around Birmingham is a bit of a minefield. Basically, you have to avoid white working class strongholds and that's why the list of wards where the BNP have bothered to field candidates in probably your best guide. We have friends in Telford we can't visit, they have to come and see us because if any of their neighbours know that they have non-white friends they'd be ostracised (it's the only place they can afford to live and have a garden). Oswestry and Cannock are notorious and parts of the Black Country are v. bad, but I couldn't tell you much detail about which bits are OK and which bits are Alabama.

South Birmingham, within the city, any of the posher areas should be fine - Moseley's obvious, if expensive. King's Heath's OK and cheaper. Northfield and Castle Bromwich are well worth avoiding. I'm sure someone else has a better idea.

The silent pub incident was in Alcester and I really don't have much of a clue about the other towns and villages to the South, but I'd be pretty wary. What about Warwick or leamington?

We really like Leamington but it's quite white. No idea what the politics are like though. Not been looking at any of the places you mention except King's Heath and Moseley. So that's a relief!

Forgot to say that one good thing about living in a white area is that the minorities don't segregate themselves so much-for example we have a BME group which meets every month or so and is open to everyone (even non BME's) and an African society rather than for example a Nigerian society, a South African group etc.

Don't know if I've phrased that very well-basically we all socialise with each other rather than sticking to our own nationality

Hello. I am new to this forum but found this subject of great interest.
I live in the Bedfordshire area with 2 mixed race children and am contemplating moving to Devon.(Paignton maybe).
My children are of college age but are saying they do not want to come with me because it is so racist in Devon.
Surely in this day and age that cannot be true ?
Is this just hearsay that Devon is a racist area or is this a fact?
I would love to move there a.s.a.p. as I love Tor, the sea, the area, etc ; but do not want to upset my children and put them in a hostile environment.
Comments and feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.

Well my oh is from Belfast and not many black people got called a monkey with in an hour of being of the plane.

Been stared at spat at

Not being funny but any were out side of London you will have issues espicaly with your son its no fun being the only black in the village

We take it for granted diversity BECAUSE we live in London

I think it could be very difficult for you son t o get employment.

Even having a holiday in Cornwall
Last year we were stared at people in shops would take the change from my hand

I do think coming from a mixed family you have to take on bored their Are still parts of the uk you can't really live

My god daughter lives in Surrey in very light skinned and sadly. She has taken to telling people her black dad was her mums driver she even had a teacher say well your so light no one will ever no I mean this is 2011 but she is the only mixed child in a school of over 1000 students very sad she won't were her hair curly lest any ones guess she is mixed the whole thing is awful

We did wonder why she had never had any one back to the house

We ourselves have wanted to move but have to think very carefully were I am afraid we can live I personally. Don't think its good for a child self aster to live in a place were you don't find no one looks like you.

An old but interesting thread. We currently live in South London (DH is black and 2 DSs are mixed) and we were contemplating to move somewhere out of London quite for a while. Well, eventually we have decided to stay in the outer London - we are hoping to move to the better part of Croydon/Bromley border sometime in the future, because even if I would prefer more villagey town, I don't want my child to be a single mixed child in the school.