Mixed Race Hair

[KatieMac]

If I start it here they can move it to the right place (If they decide to start a topic (& ever decide what to call it))

where do I start......

Thanks - I certainly think so

It's just so sad that it is beautiful fat curls when wet & frizz when dry

The OMC helps but it is very artificial & DD struggles to do it herself & at 13 wants to do her own hair

Sorry, what's OMC?

Yes the dry frizz is dreadful. I have found that hair butters help to an extent if you don't mind the hair being quite greasy, but you need to put sooo much that it is not really economically viable!

My DD is nearly 10 and nowhere near ready to look after her own hair, and hasn't shown any desire to do so either (I wish)! I have to say that most of the time I keep it in plaits as I don't have time to do all the combing to keep it looking good if not. Which is a bit sad really.

Pro-line oil moisturising conditioner.....sorry

It's hard because at that age I had been doing my hair for years & DD is very independent

If I could just keep it from being dry

What I have started doing is an oil rinse, and that seems to help a bit. What that involves is applying a liberal amount of oil (olive oil will do, or coconut oil, jojoba oil, whatever hair-frienly oil you've got) to the hair after you've rinsed off the shampoo, letting it sit on the hair for a few minutes, then rinsing off with really hot water followed by cooler water, then carrying on as usual with the conditioner.

I've also read some really good reviews of the Anita Grant Rassoul deep conditioner, but I haven't tried it on my DD's hair.

KM, so sorry you're having trouble - altho your beautiful DD's hair looks gorgeous in the photos. It's exactly like my DD2's so I wonder what's going wrong. If you can be bothered, can you talk me through exactly what you've been doing and at what point the hair starts to look frizzy?

maypole "I find unless the child has very long hair a pony tale is not really a good look as you can see their nappy knots"
My DD2 has collar-length, tightly-curled hair and often wears bunches or a ponytail. No knots :)

I used to wash with shampoo, condition, rinse then use Pro-line oil moisturising conditioner to condition her scalp, put into twists and leave; she wears a head scarf at night & midweek we reapply the pro-line.

Now we wash with Teatree & Mint original source conditioner and have tried various other bits, but most recently we used the aussie conditioner as a combing conditioner

Either way the night is the worst & she wakes up a bit frizzy which she brushes (either using an aussie leave-in, or a garnier one, or nothing) & it goes very frizzy

I am concerned at all the different "types" of stuff on her hair & the fact that it is frizzy less than a day later than washing (if that makes sense - I mean oiling takes an hour or more & really can't be done daily)

Is that enough or do you need more?

OK, well looking at that I'd say teatree and mint are not good ingredients for dry hair. They'd be great on mine (gets lank after 24 hours) but I'd avoid them on hers.

I use just 2 products on the DDs' hair: a shampoo and Herbal Essences conditioner which I use for both rinsing and combing.

I'd NEVER brush their hair when it's dry - or style it in any way. That way serious frizz lies.

I also never let them sleep with their hair loose - even in a headscarf.

Does she want to wear it loose every day?

With the curl defining, how did she end up with those fat sausages :)? Did you separate and smooth out very thin sections as in this picture?

I style my DDs' hair for 10 mins every other day; they rarely wear it loose, but if they do, I tie it up before bed to minimise tangling. This is what I do when it's looking fluffy:

1. untie/unplait
2. spray liberally with water/olive oil mix
3. smother with conditioner
4. comb out tangles with wide-tooth comb
5. use bristle brush to smooth into bunches/plaits/ponytail/whatever.

Sorry I am a bit evangelical about all this as it's been arrived at through trial and error and, having now got it right, I get endless compliments and requests for advice from mums of both black and mixed-race girls. I feel so strongly about our gorgeous girls feeling good about their beautiful locks! Hope we can help your lovely DD. x

PS: Probably stating the obvious but also never allow a hairdryer anywhere near her! :)

DD generally has her hair in either a topknot or bunches under the scarf

I bought 2 herbal essences - seductively straight & hello hydration

She hardly ever wears it loose just competitions and parties; mainly in a topknot

No hair-dryers or straighteners or anything....ever!!

The no shampoo is so much better for DD's than before (esp if you compare like for like so shampoo/conditioner/OMC vs conditioner/omc; the second is so much softer and less crunchy)

The fat sausages were DD & DH I think

Hello there, and thank you for the welcome.

Have to say I am completely lost as to all shortcuts you use. DD?... dear daughter?

Anyway, KatyMac - I have exactly the same hair as your daughter in it's natural state. She's gorgeous by the way. Sadly for about 8 years I've been texturising (now in process of breaking the habit) - Please NEVER let your daughter anywhere near chemical treatments if you can - certainly until she leaves home at least!

What I wanted to say was that I remember my Mum forever telling me to let my hair loose when not at school, to allow it to relax into it's natural shape - never listened - always in a tight bun!

But what she did do was steam treat it for me. She had a steamer of her own (she's mixed as well) and swore by weekly treatments - just with extra virgin olive oil I remember.

Anyway, many years later I've gone back to steam treatments. I've got a bog standard upright hairdryer (proper steamer too expensive) at home (justified it in terms of the same cost as a nice pair of boots and cheaper than a handbag! )

1. I wash my hair with a good clarifier to remove buildup - we use so many products - need to cleanse the hair thoroughly.

1. Gently rub through some of the oil mix I describe earlier that I use on my daughters hair.

1. Follow this with a deep treatment of some sort - you don't need to do this with your daughter if you don't want to.

1. Plastic cap, under the drier on medium heat for 20 - 30 mins. If you haven't got an upright dryer - use your normal handheld over the plastic cap just to warm up the oil and get it to start working on conditioning the shaft. You know that coconut oil is one the few oils to penetrate the hairshaft - sucking eggs? - sorry!

1. Either leave on while at home and potter, or rinse off follow up with conditioner. Style as usual.

1. Do this once a week and after a few treatments you'll start to notice hair gets stronger and is in great condition, and so can take more products, manipulation etc.

1. I now do this as a rule - doesn't matter what condition your hair is in - mixed hair needs to be CONDITIONED, CONDITIONED and CONDITIONED - lots of moisture!

acronyms are here

DD=Dear/darling daughter

Franch, when you say "I style my DDs' hair for 10 mins every other day;", what do you mean exactly?

My DD always gets little frizzy curls around her forehead. No amound of conditioning seems to make any difference to these. Any suggestions?

KnackeredOne, that is a good tip, thanks.

So I have done the tightly curly method on DD's hair today as she had her swimming lesson so her hair needed washing.

I added an oil rinse between the co-wash and the rinsing conditioner. She had her hair in little plaits so I washed the hair while it was still in plaits and undid them after I applied the rinsing conditioner. I find that way they are easier to undo, and the hair gets much less tangled.

So the combing didn't take very long, but boy, the smoothing the clumps thing, that took aaaaages because the clumps are so small. It was worth it though, her hair looked lovely, she was very pleased.

We couldn't wait for it to dry naturally unfortunately as it was getting late, so I sectioned the hair in four parts that I loosely plaited, tucked the ends in the plaits and she went to bed with her satin nightcap on.

We'll see what it's like in the morning!

Too many "so"s in that post!

Looks like I am talking to myself here...

Anyway, in the hope you'll see this Franch,
this morning my dd's hair still looked lovely when we took out the plaits, but it wasn't dry, it still felt quite wet. Is that normal with this method?

At least it wasn't crunchy or frizzy, which has to be a good thing.

Hi mammya, you're not alone :)

The styling is described under that sentence in the post above (5 steps: untie/unplait, etc.).

The teenage mixed-race DD of a friend of mine affectionately calls this "angel hair" :)
This disappears when I smooth my DDs' (wet, full-of-conditioner) hair back into bunches/ponytail/plaits with a bristle brush, but reappears overnight or even by the end of the day. On Day 2, I cover the frizz with a hairband. On Day 3, I re-style it.

Yep, that happens - it's absolutely fine.

KM: how are you getting on?

PS mammya I can't remember if you already do this but a headscarf/wide hairband at night also helps with the angel hair halo :)

Oh - and 'smoothing the clumps' - it gets faster. Took me ages at first - now I do it 2 sections at a time (one in each hand) and it's really quick. If I'm in a hurry I concentrate on the top layer. Same with anything - gets automatic with practice.

Thanks Franch, that is helpful.

We tried a headscarf last night, for a change, but in the morning it was gone! So I am not sure how useful that is...

Hair still looking good this morning , she wore it loose yesterday (but complained of "triangle hair"!) and last night I wet it and detangled it (it wasn't too bad, but started to look a bit fluffy in places) and put the hair in plaits.

I am amazed that your mid-week restyling takes only 10 minutes Franch! For me just detangling and plaiting takes about half an hour.

Sounds like progress mammya :)

As I said, I've got a lot faster with the styling and I'm not always all that thorough with the detangling - depends how much time we have. The water/olive oil spray and the conditioner help a lot, and I detangle with my fingers before I start with the comb. The brush does the rest; I just got a new natural bristle one (wooden) from Boots which seems even better than the usual Denman.

I bought a Denman a while ago and it broke while I was brushing dd's hair, it's so thick!

I've got a Tangle Teezer (or however it's spelled!) and it's OK, although not as good as advertised: it doesn't go through the whole thickness of the hair as the bristles are quite short, and is definetely not pain-free for dd (works for me though, but then my hair is very straight). I've got a little wooden bristle brush that I've never tried it on dd's hair, but I will, now that you mention it!

Yes our Denmans don't last long at all! The Tangle Teezer was no good for us either.

Just make sure her hair's wet and oily and full of conditioner, with the worst knots de-tangled, when you use the brush.

Hair wash day tomorrow

We are going with:
1st Condition to wash
2nd Conditioner to leave in
2nd conditioner mixed with water to titivate every second day

Will that work do you think?

Not going well

DD is so frustrated

What's going wrong KM?

Your washing plan sounds fine; for titivation I'd recommend water + olive oil spray then a huge blob of conditioner.