Starting a good pakistani Muslim family... Advice...

[Nateyo]

Hi

I'm 18 and pregnant with my 1st child EDD May 07.

I am half white and half pakistani living with my white mum and siblings.

My partner of 2 1/2 years is 3/4 pakistani and 1/4 english.

Over the past 4 years I have tried very hard to learn as much as I can about the side of my life I have not experienced and I follow Islam with passion.

Anyway thats the background to my story, I am looking to get a home with my partner after the birth and would greatly appreciate and advice about starting my happy family.

My partner was raised as a british muslim in a pakistani household and thinks i will do it naturally. I just want to do everything right because I am so happy I have been given this oppurtunity.

I'd like any advice or similar stories so I dont feel so alone!

Thanx x

yh im on already

ok

gotta go...chat later

salams Yasmin, congrats on ur pregnancy!im 5mths gone myself. I wouldnt worry too much abt the future,if your intention is good,inshallah Allah will make it easier for you. You should read a lot about islam from its sources - Quran & hadith,that will be the basis for a happy muslim family,not necessarily following the background of any certain culture. I would strongly advise you to get married asap,marriage in islam is simple,it requires two witnesses, the consent of both people(and the womans guardian if hes muslim)& a dowry given to the woman from the man. Its called nikkah and is really very simple,it can be done at any time, then at a later stage if you want a traditional wedding/celebration with friends and family you can always do that and or register your marriage legally, but the most important thing is making your relationship...and the foundation of ur new family - HALAL. Money, family problems etc should not get in the way of this. Allah has made it easy for us in this respect as in all ways. I really wish you the best, i know its scary becoming a mum and starting your own family,its easy for us to criticise the way others run their homes/raise their children until we're now responsible for other innocent little lives,lol.

salam, thanx very much for that i needed someone with some positive thinking.. i will do my best, i am quite excited. anyway is this your first pregnancy? xx

hey again,yeah this is my first pregnancy too!Am due March 14th&been told its gona b a boy!Im in Croydon,SW London but originally from Ireland,whereabouts r u?

Aww! am happy for you I cant wait to find out the sex! I'm in derby.. boring old derby! x

maybe im being dense here, but if you follow islam as passionatley as you say you do, then how did you manaeege to getr pregnant?
dont be too caught up in ttrying to be something you are not. if you live with your mom and siblings is the ssumption that they are lovely people correct? coz if they are, then remember they are you r family too. dont try to cut them out just coz you want to be more involved witht he pakistani side of your identity.

Everyone makes mistakes and screws up.

I married my hubby (White Brit) and he did a conversion just to please my parents.

At the start of this year I decided to read up more on Islam and find out what it was really about. Although I was born a Muslim I don't think I ever was because I never actually knew much about it apart from the usual cultural mumbo-jumbo.

This year I started practising and believing properly and my husband also converted properly.

The power of Dua'a is hugely underestimated and it's when you realise that you made a mistake and ask for forgiveness that is the key!!!!

If you've made a mistake, do everything possible to realise it and make amends-don't dwell on the past-look to the future and try to make amends

stitch,

come on i think you should give her a break. Who are we to question and judge her, not very islamic of you to form judgements about people you don't know. Not everyone has things all planned out you know and its amazing how an event in our life can bring us closer to the deen. Personally Nateyo, i wish you all the luck in the world and hope that things start to get better for you. Allah knows best and dont let other peples comments deter you from continuing to read and look into the deen for yourself, peple are always quick to judge, yes stitch i mean you.

Ameli

lol!!!!

Well, u know wat i mean, talk bout knock em when they are dwn.

eh?
where did you get the idea i wss judging her?
i just asked her a question.
i like your advice to her though.

Diplomatic as always stitch.lol. Im glad it agreed with you. u dont have to be so mean u know? Certainly seemed like judging, maybe im wrong..

ameli, you must be the first person in the entire wolrd to cll me diplomtic! normally i am told i suffer from foot in mouth disease.

LGJ - why would someone who is in a cross-racial, cross-national, cross-religious family be likely to be insular, in any way?

stitch, im takin the piss, bein sarcastic. I'm sorry but its true....you are mad as a hatter!