Good question thanks, worth reflecting on! I’ve explored motivation (or rather, lack of) a lot in therapy, and have previously have had a bit of a shopping addiction that I seem to have worked through. I just don’t feel a pull to it anymore and have also got to stage of life where I have everything I need in terms of house/wardrobe etc - and I’ve always hated clutter.
Emotional regulation… I think a lot of sticking to this plan will be down to emotional regulation - learning to feel feelings without acting on them or being impulsive. Learning not to hit the ‘fuck it’ button, but noticing the urge crop up and letting it pass.
Gamification… I’ve already spent a consistent year not adding to the credit card debt and making just over minimum payments, so I trust myself to stick to a plan a lot more than I used to. I’ve turned it into a game - gamification I guess - tapping into that addictive, anxious, perfectionist part of my nature by tracking all payments and balances on a spreadsheet and colouring things in green each month as I tick payments off! Seems silly but works. Replaced the shopping addition for a spreadsheet addiction!
Having a clear goal… I’ve written out in a spreadsheet what my balances would look like each month if I stuck to this plan. It looks SO good and exciting that I think the thought of completing it might be enough to make me say no to buying silly things I don’t need! Before I heard of Dave Ramsey’s approach I was hoping to be down to £10k debt in about a year’s time. This way I would be down to £0 instead!
Keeping occupied with healthy stuff and routines… I used to go out shopping, to cafes etc a lot craving the presence of people (have quite a monumentally shitty family/past which has fuelled my loneliness and low-level addictions in the past). Easily spending £10 on parking, £10 on a cafe trip, £20 buying a little treat item to make myself feel better etc per trip - it all adds up to a frightening amount with not much to show for it. I’ve invested a lot of time at home instead in the last year, just getting more okay with being alone, occupying myself with low cost things like journalling, gardening, cooking, enjoying the simple routine of housework, taken up running again… a promotion recently means my work is much more busy and challenging too, which keeps my mind and time more occupied than my previous job. No more weekday lunchtime shopping sprees to quell the boredom at work - I just don’t have the need/time/inclination anymore.
Having a plan for rough moments… I know I might have tricky points where I feel tempted to say ‘fuck it’ and fritter… my way of dealing with that will be to be compassionate with myself about it and get back on track again the next month. Pre-therapy, a hiccup would have made me feel ‘everything is ruined, there’s no point’ and I’d completely give up. That’s not me anymore!
Accountability… I might come back here to post too - keep me accountable! I do feel like I’m lacking social interaction in life. When I get enough of that, I feel less inclined to turn to shopping/eating etc. Maybe Mumsnet can help a little bit with that! :)
Sorry that was long, and feels a bit navel-gazing, but was useful for me! And there’s such a lot I’ve learned in therapy - i’m going to post as might be useful to others :) Makes me realise how complex getting into debt and getting out of it again can be.