recently miscarried and shocked by lack of aftercare

[74claire]

I was in my twelfth week and everything had been fine, until I got a little spotting on saturday morning, accompanied by slight tightenings. I rang the gp who said not to worry.

So I went to work in the afternoon, all was well till I was locking up and there was blood on the floor before I noticed anything. Waiting for the ambulance was quick and I was drenched in blood. The ambulance staff were lovely, as were A and E. I was briefly on the gaeney ward, with very sympathetic nurses. BUt the obstetrician was not; she asked me to lift my knees so she could examine me and said nothing about feeling discomfort. I never had an internal with my daughter and it felt like the doctor had both hands inside me, rummaging about. I nearly shot off the bed in pain. It took the staff nurse to explain what was going on. Moments later I had lines put in my arms and a shot in the thigh.
Then I was presented with a consent form and whisked off to theatre.

Back on the ward, I couldn't sleep. I heard nurses talking about experiencing their first delivery and how magical it was. I asked for something to help me sleep at 2am, and was told that I could only have pain relief. Next day I was given a leaflet and sent home. Is this normal? It felt like I was a nuisance to them. Now I feel utterly numb and fogged, I suppose the anaesthetic didn't help.

74claire I was so annoyed after reading your post and typing furiously about my own events - I omitted to say how so very sorry I was to read of your losses.

It is just so infuriating reading how shoddily women are treated when they are experiencing something so physically and emotionally traumatising. A few sympathetic words and a caring hand are not too much to ask surely?

I sorry you have had such a negative experience also and I hope you are feeling a little stronger xx

mattsmama

thank you for sharing. I am feeling a lot less shaky, but have the grey-cloud of depression building around me and I so want to shrug it off. I can't imagine having to wait around like you are; my twelve year old has been sort of understanding, but you can't expect that from a three year old.

74claire

I know its a completely different sort of depression and how awful it is but I also had a bout of depression after my little boy was born. It got to the point where I had counselling and was prescribed antidepressants. However I didn't take them and opted for a vitamin supplement by a company called Wasser - the vitamins were called Magnesium OK and they had B vitamins in as well. I swear they worked for me. They lifted that grey cloud and I felt 1000 times better - they brought normality back for me. It might be worth giving them a try. You can get them at Boots. Hope this helps - it might be worth a try xx

thank you for the tip, something so I don't spoil the summer for us will be helpful!

I haven't been to see the gp as I know that antidepressants don't work for me.