2nd MC on Xmas Day - what to do?

[northlondonchoclover]

Hello ladies,

Sorry if what follows is too much of a rant / TMI/ just all about me but I am just so devastated and not sure at all what to do except to turn to you for help/advice ...

I had a MC on Xmas day, would have been 7.5 weeks. Midwife managed to extract the pregnancy sac at the hospital and I got sent home. The little bean had probably died earlier on as she said it didn't look like a 7 week pregnancy. I had a MC in September, at 5.5 weeks. The first one came as a surprise, and was unprepared so had no idea how to pee on a stick etc. after 3 test kits of faint positive lines, I MCed.

First time was horrible but this time is devastating. I thought I did everything right - took folic acid, stopped drinking, eating sushi, stopped eating eggs sunny side up, stopped pilates classes, stopped running, cancelled skiing holiday, rested a lot, went to bed early, even abstained from sex.

Now I feel just empty and a complete failure. Sure, books, websites and well meaning medical personnel & relatives keep telling me its just bad luck and there's nothing I could have done. Nothing will be done until I have another MC. Not sure I can go through this again. It doesn't help that everybody I know seem to be getting pregnant with ease ( I know at some level this is a very stupid immature thing to say, but just found out that 2 friends are pregnant at first try )

Where should I start my research on causes of miscarriage? Should I be contacting private doctors at this stage? Is there likely to be something wrong with me? To the many ladies here who have gone through even more MCs, how do you find the strength to keep up hope?

Firstly, I want to say how sorry I am for the loss of your babies.

Secondly, I want to give you some hope. I have had four mc myself but I am also lucky enough to have 3 dcs. I know 5 or 6 women who have had three or more miscarriages, but who have two, three or four children each. Mc really is much more common than people think. I am absolutely not trying to underplay how devastating it can be. (For my second and forth mcs it took several months before I felt OK again.) However, having a couple of miscarriages certainly does not mean that you will never have children. It may just make the journey considerably more stressful and upsetting than it is for others who conceive without difficulty and then manage to stay pregnant.

I found Nancy Reagan's book very helpful. Also, somewhere on the web there is the official guidelines for treatment by the Royal College of Obs and Gyne. This gives a concise overview of potential problems and treatments.

Good luck in the future. It's a crap time, following a mc, but you will start to feel better with time.

London. I have been seen at St marys during both MCs.

Hi Neolara

Did you have your Children before MCs? What was the pattern? Did you get any help in terms of early scans/ medication or did it just happen?

It is totally devastating. Neither DH and I were prepared. It puts a lot of stress on the relationship. I am coping by arming myself with knowledge.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By justjules Tue 27-May-08 23:09:05
i am sorry you have suffered m/c

there is a fab thread called knicker checkers under pg on mn that we all post on and try to help keep each other sane thread here

as for your question on asprin does this help any?

i am on asprin at the moment for r/c m/c

i am also on heparin injections,

i have had 3 m/c and i am now 31 weeks pg with no4

the first two pg were 8 and 5 weeks, no hb,

the 3rd (on asprin) was at 11 weeks after a hb since week 6,

i think it depends on if your losses have been 'hb' losses or not as to wether asprin can be helpful,

there are many reasons why m/c happens (see link at the bottom of this message)

sadly a small number of us suffer over and over again before anything is done,

why have they said you have to holt the testing,

imo, testing WHILE pg can be just (if not more) as helpful,

are you seing a specialist?

some women ONLY EVER test positive for clotting issues WHILE PG and they are neg while not pg,

obviously, if you were to have a 'serious' clotting issue it would show while you are not pg,

i found a really interesting article on rc mc the other day

link here

wishing you all the luck in the world with your pg,

will keep and eye on this thread,

hth

the links dont work on the text i linked so you have to find the original details to access links but i linked the text so you could read the bit about being tested before, during and after pg,

i never tested pos for aps while not pregnant

some women ONLY EVER test positive for clotting issues WHILE PG and they are neg while not pg,

obviously, if you were to have a 'serious' clotting issue it would show while you are not pg

Will check out the links.

Some background: first MC in sept at 5.5 weeks, second on xmas day at 7.5 weeks. For the second one, the fetal sac did not measure up to a 7 week so I deduce that the embryo had died perhaps 1 - 2 weeks ago. Therefore no heartbeat. We have no infertility problems (in terms of ability to conceive) but the bean does seem to have problems sticking beyond 5 - 6 weeks.

Have not been to a specialist yet. Just had a scan a few days ago and another follow up scheduled in 2 weeks. I am going to my GP with all the research & statistics to persuade her to refer me to st marys for some tests. If that fails I am going for private tests.

It is shocking the lack of knowledge and support for miscarriage and Rc mcs.

the consultant that I saw the other day for the scan said that I should not do any testing until 6 weeks after MC because pregnancy hormones messes up the tests?

you dont need your gp to get you to st marys rc clinic,

you just need her/him to run basic blood clotting/vitamin/hormone tests

it will give you an idea at least,

it gave me some (well, not much, i was still terrified) hope that it might be ok next time as the results were all clear

(well, it showed a tiny fractional differance in my clotting time being too quick but i mean fractional and she said it was ok)

it wasnt,

pg no 3 failed after seeing his heartbeating

the heparin worked for me for pg no4 and IF i ever consider putting myself though the pg gauntlet again i will insist on heparin treatment for it

the consultant said my gp needs to refer me to st marys for tests. is there another way to get myself in even though only 2 mcs?

it must have been very heartbreaking to lose your baby after seeing a beating heard.

it was, very very sad, i still miss him

your gp and ask for basic blood tests without a full referal,

she can do a request for bloods at your clinic or your own practice nurse can take them and they can send them off direct from there,

i actually called my surgery after mc no2 and asked who was the best gp to see, i asked if any of them took a partucular interest in fertitity/childcare/pregnancy, it paid off as she was very understanding and did agree to help me by requesting the basic tests

it is unlikely to show anything but you just never know, and if it did show something it might help,

as a note, my sis had 2 mc, both like yours and took asprin (low dose) for pg 3 and it worked, she is now pg with dc 2 and is taking the same tablets,

may be nothing but it shows that you can and hopefully will go on to have a healthy baby

from the little info that i gathered, it seems definitely worth pushing for these blood tests. especially for a condition that is so 'easily' rectifiable.

i am going to plant a white rose bush in the garden to commemorate my little bean

And thank you for sharing - it gives me hope for the future!