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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

who thinks recurrent miscarriage is caused by stress?

32 replies

kissmummy · 07/12/2009 22:09

Not me. not any of the GPs or eminent fertility consultants i've spoken to. But lots of people who don't know anything about miscarriage seem to.
in the last week two people have suggested my four miscarriages are because of "stress"
I know they mean well but a) my life isn't particularly stressful and b) could four miscarriages really be caused by stress even if my life was stressful?? and c) don't they see how difficult this is to hear, when it implies that it is all somehow my fault for my "stressful" lifestyle? and d) what am i supposed to do, confine myself to permanent bed rest until i have a successful pregnancy?
i don't feel stressed, except when people say this!

OP posts:
ChoChoSan · 15/12/2009 09:27

Well, confuddled, I am reading one of those miscarriage books at the moment, and it doesn't even mention stuff like 'don't lift heavy things; don't eat bagged salad, etc, and when you look at the 'causes of miscarriage' pie chart, there isn't a slice with 'stress' written on it. I don't blame myself.

This is not to suggest that maternal health, well being and care aren't important to provide the very best environment for the embryo, but it appears that some of these things come low on the list of causes, or perhaps might aggravate some of the chief causes.

I wasn't even completely teetotal with either of my pregnancies, but I just don't blame myself...the thought never even occured to me, though it's clear that many people do feel that way, from the stuff that I have read.

Perhaps this is because I have been infertile for years, and followed all sorts of different advice about how to increase chances - none of which worked, so I have learnt that it's not something I can's clearly a medical condition as yet undiscovered, so I don't go round beating myself up...I have enough misery with it all as it is without self-flagellating!

confuddledDOTcom · 16/12/2009 16:44

Exactly! No one should be blaming themselves but the health care profession, pregnancy books and everything that ever gives advice to pregnant women is setting women up to blame herself if she miscarries. Then the same people are all the ones telling you not to blame yourself. What do they expect you to do with the information they gave you when pregnant???

I hope I read your post wrong that you don't think I think women are to blame? With a child in the ground that is the furthest thing from my mind.

ChoChoSan · 17/12/2009 09:30

No, I don't think that you hold women responsible, and I completely understand what you mean...there is so much "Do this...Don't do that" when you get pregnant (although all a doctor has ever said to me is "Don't smoke, and do you know not to eat cheese and pate?")...and then the first thing you read when you m/c is "Don't blame yourself"

...err, okay, I will carry on smoking crack and drinking a litre of vodka every day, then shall I?

By the way, you seem to have quite a bit of knowledge in this area, re. testing etc. What are your circumstances if you don't mind my asking?

I am waiting for my fourth and final IUI in January, then straight on to IVF. I have not had any m/c investigations, but I am taking aspirin, and the consultant who found my mmc has said my GP should refer me to him when I get pg again and, although he can't carry out investigations, he will treat me with what he can (aspirin or heparin perhaps).

Just thinking about it now...perhaps he saw something on the scan that suggested there were problems with clotting...he did not say anything though.

I am now wondering if I should pay for private testing before then.

confuddledDOTcom · 18/12/2009 00:08

If you have a look in any of the antenatal threads, especially fairly new ones you will see people discussing what they can and can't eat or do - should egg yolk be cooked properly, can they eat philli etc - or pick up a copy of a pregnancy magazine or read your hand held notes. However big the list is women are being told that the fate of their baby is in their hands. And no, I'm not talking about boozing and drugs, I'm talking about the daily routine. A drink won't hurt you, Phili is safe, UK eggs have a Lion Mark so you can eat them runny, lying on your back/ left/ front is not going to damage you or your baby...

When a woman has had it so ingrained into her that she can't sleep because she's worried she might roll over (read the threads here, I've seen it many times on MN) then you can't expect her not to feel like it's her fault when she loses a baby. I've heard women say they ate a fried egg the day before.

Besides all that women are naturally blame takers!

I'd suggest that you ask your doctor to refer you to a Rheumatologist for testing. They can find out if you're autoimmune and then if that comes back clear they will know who to refer to next. Personally I would be pushing the Heparin. If you do have a problem with clotting that's causing you to lose your babies then obviously Aspirin is not enough for you to carry. I had to push too and I said to them I would rather lose a baby knowing we'd tried than have to think "what if". I know a lot of people who write a disclaimer and tell their doctor if they're so happy with their decision they will sign this disclaimer (along the lines of "I agree that Aspirin is all that is needed in this situation rather than being coupled with Heparin and take responsibility for this potentially being the wrong decision")

I lost 4 babies, the last was an extreme prem, they believed was a healthy baby so the problem had come from my body. I was tested and found to have anti-phospholipid syndrome. I have done a lot of research into it and miscarriage since then, I've found out the bits that your HCP won't tell you. I'm a facts and figures kinda gal so it's been interesting to me to be researching.

kissmummy · 18/12/2009 20:09

lissielou what is uterine GBS? I'm surprised i haven't heard of it - thought i knew everything there was to know about MC after my four. perhaps i know it by a different name.
i also seem to get flu/cold symptoms around the time of miscarrying but hadn't thought it was significant. tell me more?
i have just returned to mumsnet after a few weeks away and am amazed at the response to this thread. it seems i'm not the only one really wound up about this "stress" nonsense!

OP posts:
Isawlissiekissingsantaclaus · 24/12/2009 17:56

sorry kissmummy, thread had dropped out of my active threads.

uterine GBS is when Group B Strep transfers from the vagina to the uterus, usually during a long, stressful labour after waters broken. the cons found that my placenta was riddled with it although they didnt get the tests back for a week after ds was born, by which point i was too ill to move and had an extreme fever here

kissmummy · 24/12/2009 23:11

hi again
this is really interesting! i was told after I had my DS (now 2) that I am strep B positive.i can't remember how they found out - some routine swab a couple of weeks after I gave birth i think - but i did have a very long and horrible labour with him (36hrs.)
I have since had four consecutive miscarriages, all first trimester. I wonder if there is any link? NOBODY i have consulted has raised this or even asked about my strep B status. do you mind telling me whether you have had any treatment for this and how you first found out about it? i have a private specialist now - we had our first appointment just after my fourth miscarriage - and he did not mention this at all. i have also seen an NHS specialist and thought i'd read everything about miscarriage and never seen about strep B before..

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