Oh boy, here we go again :(

[wouldlovetoknowwhy]

I've just found out that I've had yet another mmc. It is my fourth consecutive mc in just over 12mths.

The baby from my second mmc died at 10+5 and the baby from this latest mmc died at 10+4.

My dh and I had lots of tests done this summer but everything came back normal...however I can't help but wonder if there is an underlying problem which has caused two pgs to fail at very similar gestations?? Has anybody else had a similar experience? Did you ever get any satisfactory answers?

There seems to be so few answers with mc. I asked whether any tests could be done on this baby (post ERPC) but the SHO didn't know. I asked her why it's happened again and she suggested it was 'bad luck'.

If anybody has any stories that are similar to mine, then I'd love to hear them.

Hi, you two, sounds like you are a lot of support to each other .

wouldlove, glad to hear today went well. Too bad to hear about the respone you got about sending tissue for analysis .

Personally I hate the phrase "TTC", it instantly turns sex/lovemaking into babydancing and can put such pressure on everybody involved. Don't use contraception and see what happens can be much more enjoyable - albeit still not with any garuantee of success of course.

I am in Scotland, so really cannot recommend anybody/any hospital re further tests. I have heard that there is a lot of research going on about immunology of coneption, so I so not think persuing that particular avenue is throwing money at snake oil peddlers .

As far as age goes, well, there is no denying biology, we should all have our children in our 20s and I kind of wish my life circumstances had been such that I'd have had my first before I was 30. It was great to hear about kissmummy's mother as I will be just a smidgen before 44 when this one is due...

Anyway, I shall butt out, very best of luck to you both.

pacific - you're not butting into anything! All posts and experiences are very welcome!

I have to say, I was slightly (and irrationally!!) pleased to see that you are also 40ish - well done you for overcoming the sorrows of mc and having a lovely family.

My dh also hates any suggestion of organised sex! Last night, he said we should just see what happens but tbh, I'm really reserving judgement about it....my PIL came over today (pre-planned visit) so dh had to let me know about the situation and FIL asked, 'how old is wouldlovetoknow now?' it's a good job he hasn't said anything like that to my face yet!! MIL much more sympathetic and now knows all the gory details about the last year (we'd kept the middle two mcs to ourselves).

You know, I really, really could not have had kids before I reached my late 20s and even at that age, when I was starting to think about my bio clock for the first time, I hadn't even met the right guy. So it was 30s for me but I was just not emotionally (or situationally) ready at the 'ideal' age.

Ah well, there are always people worse off and I guess we all know couples who have tried for dc and haven't succeeded .

wouldlove our appointment at the Lister is on Thursday next week. i'm looking forward to it. hopefully they will recommend lots of tests we haven't had already. my biggest hope is for someone to identify the problem. not knowing why it's going wrong every time is just the worst.
pacific according to today's Daily Mail around 27,000 women in their forties give birth every year in Britain. That's a lot of mummies! good luck

ooh, kissmummy, next Thursday is less than 1wk away , no wonder you are looking forward to the appt. And because you will be a paying patient, I'd be surprised if they didn't thoroughly interrogate you about your history and then draw up a plan of action, hopefully with a timeline.

I would be interested to learn how the appt goes...would you prefer to tell all via email or will you post on MN?

Yes, older women are definitely having more babies these days - I wonder if the stats will change as a result of this, or whether they will remain the same (for mc, abnormalities, etc)?

kissmummy, 27000?? Really?? Well, I thank you for that; I feel less of a freak now .
Good luck with your appointment next week.

wouldlove, at your FIL! Not the sensitive/empathic type then, is he!? Mind you, my own father was very dubious about this pregnancy even though we only told my parents after 12 weeks and with good CVS result to back up our optimism...

Re stats: apparently more babies with Down's are born to woman under 30 than over 40. One explanation is that more women over 40 will have (risky) diagnostic tests done and may be more likely to terminate an affected pregnany.
Also, apparently, more woman over 50 conceive naturally than between 45-50. Probably because more women over 50 stop using contraception because they feel "safe"..

LoL at FIL, it's odd because he is usually the more empathetic one but I guess he (like many men actually) is just pragmatic and searches for reasons and logic to explain things...so:

4mcs + blardy old woman = skeptical!!

He hasn't mentioned anything to me and I think he is finding it a little awkward tbh, being of the generation where all things Ob&Gyn are strictly, 'women's business' !!

Yes, I think invasive testing is taken up more by older women. I hadn't actually decided what my cut-off risk was going to be before opting for CVS (we were booked in at the FMC tomorrow and today was the fourth time we had to cancel our appt) so I guess I still don't know!

Hi wouldlove I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your losses. I also had 4 mc's in a row and no children. I'm 32 and my dh is 38. We've done every test imaginable. The one D&E I had showed trisomy, which at least was a clue that it really isn't anything but bad luck. It's a bad sperm or a bad egg (probably the sperm, lol) so as the doc said, we just keep "rolling the dice." PGD IVF is another option but the odds of success are no better than if we continue to try on our own.

Anyway, you may just hit the jackpot one of these days. I do know that the older the get, the more poor quality eggs you have so it may take some time, or maybe you could do the IVF?

Hi Daynee, thanks for posting and sharing your experiences. So sorry for your four sad losses and I really feel for you and your dh not having any dc yet BUT you are still very, very young and you have plenty of very fertile years left (as does your dh!). Have you considered taking the private route, as per kissmummy, in case any other tests are available?

I can imagine how you feel about having normal test results; in a way it is good news but on the other hand, it begs the question of why the mcs are happening.

I won't be seeking any medical intervention (IVF etc) because I don't seem to have a problem conceiving and also, if dc3 is not meant to be, then I can actually accept that because of my advanced age and the fact that we do have two dc. TBH, I don't yet know if I want to try again - the odds of success seem so low and I'm not sure I want to risk it all again.

But that's me being negative -
I guess you and your dh will continue trying?