Diagnosed miscarriage but I think doctors have my dates really wrong

[deadhead]

Hi all,
I'm completely new to this website but had been reading threads for a while. I got a positive pregnancy test about 3-4 weeks ago now, completely unplanned and initially unwanted. I'm only 19 and in second year of university so my friends who knew about the positive result thought I should get an abortion, I thought that was the right decision for me too until I attended a consultation at a clinic. I told the nurse that I was unsure about whether I wanted an abortion so she wrote that down and scanned me. She couldn't find anything at first so she did a further internal scan.
As I was laid on the bed being scanned I knew that I couldn't abort my baby, I bonded with it and the idea of how my life could change for the better. She had to call in another nurse to check what she was seeing and they both suspected miscarriage.
I was sent to the emergency gynecology unit, they took bloods and told me my HCG was at 23,000. They also scanned me again and said that they were not seeing what they should be at 10 weeks, they wrote down that I had a pregnancy of unknown location.
The hospital calculated my dates from my last period (26th November) which apparently put me at 10 weeks however I know that I couldn't have conceived until the 27th of December (I hadn't had any unprotected sex until then) which only puts me at 5-6 weeks. I didn't say anything to them at the time because they seemed so sure and the dates didn't click until I left.
Is it possible that I haven't miscarried and they just got my dates really wrong? I have had no bleeding and little cramping, I am also still experiencing sore breasts and nausea.
Next week I will have another scan to check but the doctor pretty much told me this was just reassurance and that I have definitely miscarried.
I'm on a horrible emotional roller coaster of grief and denial, one minute I feel that I have miscarried and the next I'm so unsure.
If anyone has had similar experiences I would really appreciate hearing these and perhaps someone could give me some advice?
I feel isolated and alone, my friends don't know how to deal with me so maybe someone here has some insight?

I could afford 30-40 but not too much more, I'll tell the hospital I've been going to about the dates on Wednesday and if they don't address this I'll see about a private scan.

I had a private scan during one of my mc and it just seemed to complicate matters as the way they measured was slightly different. I would think that by now, an NHS one would be conclusive but do still ask for the blood tests anyway (for your own peace of mind if nothing else).

How are you today?

I had my scan today and something is growing but it isn't a baby, they say the pregnancy definitely isn't viable and it may be a molar pregnancy. They told me about my options, surgical management seems like the best given they need to check the tissue to see if it is molar but I am unsure. They gave me a pot to collect anything that I pass and said to call them with my decision when I'm ready. I'm not sure which option would give me the most closure, I did want to pass it naturally but the complications have made me unsure. I'm in absolute bits over everything and I don't know what to do.
Has anyone else had a molar pregnancy before? I still don't fully understand what is going on.

I think there can be complications if you don't clear your uterus . Are you still hoping they have their facts wrong?

I’m so sorry to hear this.

I’ve passed naturally and also had surgical management. My choice would be to have surgical management if necessary again. However, it isn’t the right decision for everyone.

Passing naturally can be incredibly painful and go on over quite a long time. You also have no control when it will happen and there are very large clots and lots of blood.

If you have surgical management, then it is a short and relatively painfree (physically anyway) operation with minimal bleeding afterwards.

I'm very sorry OP. I've been blessed with each pregnancy and have no advice to offer but I hope things get better for you. Can you phone your GP for advice. I think you need a good lengthy well explained medical opinion.

I know that the nurses and doctors know what they're talking about but I'm still kind of in denial which is why I wanted to pass naturally. If I physically feel and see that I've lost the pregnancy it might help me move on to just grieving, but im also worried about when that might happen. I really don't know, I honestly believed that I would get good news today.

Unfortunately a molar pregnancy is quite a complex issue. They cause very high HCG and if cells are left behind growth might start again. Honestly in your shoes I would probably have the surgical procedure, because if any tissue is left behind by medical management you would need surgical removal anyway, and if the pregnancy is confirmed as molar you will have to be monitored for several months to make sure there is no more growth. It is your choice though and if you feel you would rather try medical management first you absolutely can.

The NHS has a good information page on molar pregnancy in the meantime and there are also some threads on here if you search.

I was told that I could wait it out and see if I pass naturally but I can't find any information about molar pregnancies spontaneously ending. It isn't a definite molar but if anyone knows anything about whether they do end spontaneously and when this might happen that would be great. I'm just not sure if I'm ready for surgery just yet, I'm also not well informed on medical management so feel a bit confused.

I don't think complete molar pregnancies usually do pass naturally - partial molars might. They will definitely need to confirm molar or not by testing the tissue if you do pass anything naturally and if it was confirmed as molar I would guess they'd advise a further surgical procedure to be sure you'd passed everything. And according to your last scan the sac/mass is still growing? That is likely to reduce the chance it will pass soon.

I think there is a high chance you will end up with some kind of surgical management but if you want to wait and see if it passes before you need to escalate to that it is definitely your choice. I'm really sorry you are going through this.

I thought that might be the case, I'm thinking I'll go for medical management as I am concerned about possible (though unlikely) complications of surgery. I also plan on asking if I could get one last ultrasound before the treatment just to check up on any growth and to put to bed any denial I'm still experiencing. Is this a reasonable request? I wouldn't feel comfortable taking the tablets without seeing the lack of a viable baby once more but don't want to be demanding. Thank you for your sympathy, it has made an already awful situation even more confusing.

Update- the hospital advised against medical management as there's a chance I would bleed too heavily and have to go into theatre as an emergency anyway. Booked in for pre-op and ultrasound on the Thursday then surgery on the Friday. Quite upset that I won't be able to pass the pregnancy myself but I'm glad that they are happy to do another ultrasound.

I’m so sorry that you’ve gone through all of this. It sounds like a really stressful and sad time.

I just wanted to see whether you needed any help with managing university stuff? If you haven’t, I’d really advise talking to someone in your dept that you like, and making sure that you have support there too.

Thank you, it is very sad and stressful yes.
I have had help in terms of my tutors marking me as authorised absence so that I don't get pulled up on why I've been away for a few weeks. Once I've recovered I'm going to be quite far behind in my work so I'll have to deal with that at some point. Thankfully the university have granted me mitigating circumstances for exams so my marks shouldn't be too harsh. I had hoped to get a first this year but that has already gone out the window, trying to focus more on my mental health than grades though and all will be well in the end.
I'll talk to my advisors some more before and after surgery, thank you for your concern

Good. You’re doing well to have it all sorted out.

Good luck. Be kind to yourself, this is all tough stuff to deal with.

How are you doing today?

I was doing quite well earlier in the week but now feeling quite bad again, just trying to keep busy with stuff other than uni work as can't concentrate very well. I'm mostly scared of the surgery at the moment, though still grieving the loss of my child and having a bit of a crisis over the direction of my life. Think the emotional pain will be worse after surgery initially, still don't feel ready to let go.
I'd say I'm coping quite well considering, thanks for checking up on me. I'll post updates after pre-op and the surgery Thursday/Friday

Had the pre-op and additional scan today. All they said about the scan is that the cystic growth stuff is still there, I think I can accept that there is no hope now going in for the operation tomorrow. Feeling emotionally fragile and scared about the procedure, hopefully all will go smoothly.

Good luck for tomorrow. I'm sure it will be ok. xx

Will be thinking of you tomorrow OP.

Thankfully the surgery was ok, the staff at the hospital were amazing and kind throughout. I'm experiencing quite bad cramps today which make it difficult to walk, I'm glad that I do have physical symptoms though as without it would feel too sudden and surreal (not sure if that makes sense). I am struggling a lot emotionally but with time and counselling all will be well- though I do feel this experience has changed me permanently. I know I'm strong enough to handle loss on my own and now realise that I really do want to be a mother some day.
Thanks everyone for being supportive, I'm sorry to those who have been through this before. Apologies for the rambling, I'm going to continue watching crappy movies and looking after myself for the night.
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