Missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. Oh my goodness, the blood.

[Doublesidedselleotape]

Hello
Have just been through the most physically full on 24 hours and need to put it somewhere. I had my 12 week scan on Wednesday and it was a mmc. Hospital were very kind and I was sent home with an appointment for next Wednesday to scan again and see how miscarriage had progressed.
Last night (at bedtime, 2 DDs wanting bedtime kisses) I suddenly started bleeding very heavily. To the extent that I was sitting of the loo passing massive clots and so much blood. Went to bed at midnight hoping that the worst had passed and then at midday again today it starts up again. Masses of blood, masses of clots and stuff (I didn't look, feeling pretty queasy). Eased up again by 4 when I slept for a couple of hours, and now bleeding is like a normal period.
I was so shocked, and felt very under prepared by hospital, by the incredible goriness of it. And the cramping and stinging as it happened. Why oh why don't we women share this with one another more?! By far and away the most useful and honest information I've found was on mumsnet. A complete saviour during some very dark hours.
I now intend to spend the next month eating stark tartare and drinking fine red wine.

I'm so glad there is this forum to hear from you all with similar experiences.
I am going to continue to do this alone and hope it all happens without any 'problems'.
Unfortunately I really have no choice but to carry on working through it all (whole different kettle of fish- my department is being restructured and I'm a supervisor of which my management are very none maternal women who are very unfair to working mothers, they would be unsympathetic to hear of this and push me out) (I really need to get a new job) xx

I m/c at 14 weeks 7 years ago and this thread is just so familiar. So sorry for everyone's losses.

I had 3 babies previously but all c-sections so had no idea about contractions or anything. And it really was contractions. They went on for a couple of days - so painful I couldn't sleep. I had expected cramps but this was agony.

I felt pressure and had to 'push' and the baby came out in the amniotic sac! (Which was good in a way, he was protected in the sac and I was able to put him in a box and have him buried with his big brother).

The blood was pouring out of me like a tap running, I just had to sit on the loo and let it happen. I had clots so big I had to push them out too. It really wasn't what I'd expected or read about. I probably should have gone and gotten checked out but the trauma of the whole thing made it hard to think about it all clearly.

Take care of yourself OP (and anyone else going through this).

Oh hay thats tough.

It really is one of those situations where i think until it happens you dont know.

My dm mc'd her second child. Just like a heavy period with a few clots. Bf had a mmc she was stuck to toilet for an hour then it all eased off.

I hope it goes as smoothly as possible and to everyone in the midst of it i am so sorry and hope you are managing ok.

[Flowers] for everyone else affected my mc at any time. It's so sad.

Hi all,
I am new here (been reading but have never posted) and just wanted to say how sorry I am that you've all been through such a rough and stressful time. OP - what you went through sounds very traumatic and I hope in time that you will start to feel better emotionally.
FATEdestiny - your post is so, so true and thank you for sharing.
I really don't want to hijack the thread but wanted to do a quick intro as I'm new. I have just been through my first early miscarriage (1st pregnancy) and I too, was horrified at the blood, pain and the duration of it all. I had 2 A&E visits, 5 EPAU visits, 3 scans, 6 blood tests and have now been given strong painkillers & drugs to slow down the bleeding for a while. I was 6.5 weeks when I miscarried and have such mixed feelings about trying again the future.
Please all keep talking and look after yourselves. I cannot believe how little information we have all been given by health professionals, it really doesn't prepare you. All we can do is take it one day at a time. Take care

Hello purple - some of these accounts are not for the faint-hearted. You sound as if you've been to Hell and back.
I had the 4 pills inserted this morning and nothing has happened in 6 hours except some intermittent strong cramping, pooping and been sick once. Maybe I'm the 1 in 10 who it doesn't work for. I was terrified of this day!

I wish I'd known what to expect prior. You're just so in the dark and it's truly awful.

Like you said, the blood loss is unreal (as was the pain) and whereas with a contraction you would try to relax to ease the pain, with a miscarriage you tense up because you're so worried and panicked about what is going on.

I still sometimes go for a wee and remember the sensation of passing those clots. It's horrific and something I will never forget.

I wish there was advice early on. I appreciate its not an easy subject and not something people want to think about but it happens so often and to be prepared would be better as you can make decisions about keeping the baby for example. I've read (since) about people burying the baby with a plant on top in remembrance. I'm not sure if I would have, or would have looked but I know I wasn't prepared and it still upsets me now.

To everyone in the same boat

Lovely Women

Thank you for your messages of sympathy and support. OP here checking back in. I'm feeling pretty whacked and typing on a phone so will keep this brief. I am touched that you've shared your stories too, thank you. X

At my mmc scan I was told by an EPU nurse that should I start to bleed, soaking 5 pads an hour would be calm to go to a&e. Ha! Would be funny if it wasn't so ridiculous. I was shocked by the two waves that my miscarriage happened in - had desperately hoped all was finished at the end of the first night. Terrible medical advice, but I did find pain killers & red wine took the edge off. I think what my body has experienced is more aligned with labour than my other miscarriage (at 7 weeks). I did at points think I should be in hospital, but I rather suspect I'd have been sitting on a loo in hospital doing the same thing. And I prefer my loo.

How do we talk about this more? So very sad that we live in a society so icked by women's bodies that because this involves blood and vaginas we collectively keep this secret from each other. Blooming Nora, if people want to cuddle our babies, they can blooming here this bit too. I think of ALL the women I know, and that I seemingly know no one who has experienced this. That simply can't be true. When I'm feeling a bit more robust I'd like to do something about this. Sandwich boards on the high street?

I have a scan at the EPU tomorrow where I truly hope they'll tell me that I'm all cleared out. I truly don't want to go through a surgical procedure as well. Please cross fingers for me for that.

I went to the GP who was very kind today, my bleeding has slowed to light period bleeding now. As practical information for others who are experiencing this, her advice to me was to watch out for 1) continued cramps 2) fever 3) foul smelling discharge - they can be signs of retained tissue for which you need help at hospital.

For anyone going through this now you have my very best love and thoughts. We women are strong and wonderful people. Xx

So sorry for all that you are going through.

DD had this at 16 weeks and passed the full sac (size of a grapefruit) down the toilet at home - hospital asked her to scoop it out of the bloodbath that was the loo and take it in with her so they could see what had been expelled - it was GRIM.

How do we women cope with all this? - we all deserve medals.

The problem with not looking at the 'gore' is that sometimes it's useful to know what you've 'passed'.
I had a MMC 10 years ago. Baby had stopped growing at 7w, found out at 11w. I went in for the pessary etc, had some heavy bleeding and clots for a few days. Thought it was all sorted and (stupidly) went back to work on day 5 as I didn't want to have to get a doctor's note (didn't want anyone at work to know).
Ended up passing out in the work toilets. Heavy blood loss. Went to hospital and it turned out I had retained tissue which had kind of compacted (sorry tmi).
Big hugs to all on thread - one of the worst things I've been through, but a thread like this is so important to get over the truth.

Sorry to read about everyone's experiences.

I've had four, at 7, 10 and two at 11.5 weeks. All different.

Excessive bleeding - if it's lots, liquid and if you feel dizzy, do talk to / go to hospital. It is possible to lose your own blood. When the placenta detaches, it can tear a wound.

I had that with MC2 and ended up in hospital for three days with a lot of IV fluid and a couple of units of blood. Came home with industrial strength iron tablets to get from 'lowest threshold of acceptable iron levels' to normal.

That was a very different experience from the others. Very liquid, whooshy blood, lots of it, rapidly, getting through bath towels. In retrospect it is a little scary that, after the first evening of rapid blood loss, I crawled into bed - literally, as was dizzy - and went to sleep. Woke up in the morning, thankfully. Eased up a bit next morning, worse in the afternoon, went to A+E in the evening, after I was too dizzy to go downstairs, waited until after initial assessment (lying down) before fainting in A+E loo. Was ok lying down, couldn't stand up again until after about 12 hours of IV fluid boosted my BP.

The others were a bit more like massive, three-months worth, periods. First one was a MMC at 10 weeks (hadn't developed beyond about 3). About three days of very heavy period, pain, lots of blood - but more clotty, not whooshy. It did make me think that maybe that's the sort of experience people who have terrible periods experience, painwise. Didn't experience contractions. I got away with paracetamol and cheap champagne (might as well use a painkiller that cheers you up).

Just to be extra clear - dizziness is a problem, however whooshy or otherwise the flow. According to the NHS website it can be a symptom of an ectopic pg, so can be a reason to contact a doctor / hospital.

Hi guys, I'm currently miscarrying and this thread is very useful. I am two days away from my 12 week scan and started bleeding yesterday. Hospital maternity helpline told me to go to A and E so we spent all evening there, got told to go to EPU for scan in the morning, but when I got home at about 2 am things really started. This is so grim- really struggling with the pain right now! Not sure if I should/ still can make it to EPU in the morning?!

Also really struggling emotionally. This was a surprise lucky pregnancy after more than 2.5 years of TTC, while waiting for fertility treatment, and having given up all hope of it happening naturally. Can't imagine going back to where I was before after thinking it was all over

I am so sorry to everyone going through this and who has been through this.

kiwiblue and doublesidedsellotape a big hug from me.

I have had two and they were the most awful experiences of my life. They felt like nothing hopeful or positive could be taken from the loss.

As someone said unthread you are more fertile afterwards. But it's hard to even feel positive about that.

Big hug

Just wanted to report back that I had my medically managed miscarriage yesterday, what I had experienced before that was just bleeding apparently as nothing had come away. The consultant told me it would be like a period! I'm sure it maybe for some people, but this was comparable to my actual labour with my dc1, 2 hours, pushing, huge clots etc. I don't want to scare anyone but if I hadn't have read this thread and hadn't have given birth previously I'd have been so woefully underprepared for what was happening and absolutely terrified. They really need to give people a more realistic idea of what to expect. Hope everyone who has been through this is doing okay.

So sorry kiwiblue, I hope you are doing okay. If you can make it to the epu then it might be helpful to have a scan so that they can tell you if the miscarriage is complete, but if you aren't feeling up to it I'm sure they'll reschedule for another day. Mine really did go out of their way to fit me in and do things as and when I wanted.

Hello - I also wanted to add my account of medical management yesterday at approx 8 weeks. It took 13 hours for the process to kick in (much longer than the 4-6 hours I was expecting). I'd been sick once at about 5 hours in and had some squirm-worthy strong cramps for around 30 mins - otherwise the cramps were light and I didn't need painkillers throughout. I had 7 trips to the toilet over 5 hours and passed lots of tissue in large clumps. There wasn't much free flowing blood and inbetween trips to the loo I didn't need to change the pad. This is my first medical management (first MMC was by D&C). I was able to sleep a few hours and today has been a light period. The whole process was well prepared to me by West Middlesex Hospital EPU. I had an emergency midwife on call and two nurses called yesterday and today to check my progress.
The whole process has been so much easier than expected and I expect to stop bleeding by tomorrow/Friday as its getting lighter and lighter as the day progresses. I definitely had a better experience using this method and recovery time is better so far.
I'm really sorry for those who had a terrible time and wanted to add my own relatively straight forward experience.

Rider1975 reading your account there has made me wonder if my 'out of hours doctor' has given me the right advice. I have been 'miscarrying' from Friday gone to today, all the while working every day and having no medical intervention. They just told me to get on with it in a nut shell. I wonder if I should chase them up. My only setback is that you have to wait weeks for a doctors appointment at my surgery and I go off on holiday in 10 days! I hate my hostpital! X

Hello Hay - I was very carefully monitored and it was nice to have that and an A&E which had my records etc and would know how to treat me if something went wrong. Are you having a medical management? I'd say you should be under the care of your GP or your local hospital EPU? You must be absolutely exhausted not to mention the emotional heartbreak.

Thankyou X
The out of hours doctor (that NHS 111 put me through to) asked me if I was loosing enough blood to fill the average mug in the space of an hour. As my answer was no she told me to just let it happen and if my blood loss was massive to call back.
And that was it. Nothing else, no advice! I text my midwife on Monday to let her know and she hasn't replied
Xx

So sorry to hear what everyone has been going through.
Kiwi I am so sorry for your loss, please allow yourself time to grieve and don't rush yourself into getting back to work or 'normality'. One day at a time.
Double sided - I hope you are looking after yourself too.
Jingle and Rider - glad to hear your MMC weren't as horrendous as they could have been, given the circumstances. Hope you both feel much better soon.
Lots of healing vibes and best wishes to you all xx

Hey - I'm no expert in natural MC, but if you're feeling ok, not dizzy, not experiencing a lot of blood loss, able to focus on work and walk about, I'd guess that physically your body is coping. I don't know how this compares to my experience where everything came out in a very short time. If I were you and you feel unwell/distressed/unhappy with the situation and you can't see your GP, I'd go to your nearest walk in EPU. I'm in London where I know of two (if you're London: UCLH and St Thomas's). I got a referral from my GP - organised by telephone to attend West Mid which is my local hospital.
I expect you might need a scan to find out if you have passed all the tissue/clots so someone will need to see you in 1-2 weeks time anyway. My hospital didn't offer this - they just told me to do a pg test in 4 weeks and let them know outcome.

Thanks purple. I went to EPU, they did a scan and confirmed it had mostly all come out, so I don't need surgery. It was so sad and depressing having that scan, and then after we had to go and cancel our 12 week scan which was booked in for two days later. Thankfully DH did that.

hay that's really bad- definitely go to a walk in EPU and be seen to. Mine were extremely sympathetic. Good luck.

for you all

Having had quite a few mcs there is a vast physical difference between a 6w mc and a 12w mc. At 6w it is like a heavy period but with some identifiable contents like a sac, at 12 weeks the pain is more like labour, the blood loss is terrifying and the foetus can be recognisable as a tiny baby

I learned to sit on the loo and not look

Despite heavy periods all my adult life and previous pregnancy losses (including a 16w medically managed loss), my 12 week mc blood loss freaked me out, which then freaked DH out. Eventually DH called an ambulance. Hospital monitored for a while but were noticeably uninterested and unsympathetic, then sent me home.

I think maybe medical training for mcs is based on the 6w scenario and they don't really get how much worse a later mc is unless they have had first hand experience.

I've just read this thread for the first time!

Had a MMC at almost 13 weeks recently...all the descriptions about the blood loss etc was all so true for me.

Kind of wish I had found this thread before I took the medial management.

Am so glad I had the option to stay at home and get it done.

Although, looking back, I don't think medical management worked properly for me- had loads of bleeding & clots after the pessaries and felt a bit "is that it?"...then just over a week later it feels like the real miscarriage happened- huge amounts of tissue coming out & bleeding like it was a tap that had been turned on. The day this all happened was the day I was meant to be back at work!

If I'd been in hospital for the pessaries, I'm sure I would've ended up with an ERPC as I wouldn't have passed everything & I don't think they let you go until it is complete?

So grateful to have been at home, in my own bathroom & own space rather than in hospital.

Really wish I'd found this thread before it all started- you don't get this information anywhere else.

I really wasn't prepared for the amount of blood and the contraction-like pains- only realised afterwards what they actually were!

I'm so sorry for your loss. Like so so many people I too had the same experience. Although it felt like I was the only person in the world to be going through it as no one ever ever talks about it. I know what you mean about everyone just expecting you to be over it in a few weeks.