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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

I'm miscarrying:(

50 replies

babyjames · 19/08/2012 12:59

I'm miscarrying and I'm an emotional wreck. Please help me through this.

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babyjames · 21/08/2012 16:02

Hi all. On my phone so sorry for mistakes! So sorry for your losses. Riley you have been through so much :( had scan today as still having positive tests. Showed nothing in womb but on the podiums the cysts I had previously seem to have reduced. Having more bloods 2mor as hormones still fairly high and they want to rule out eptopic. I feel ok though physically just odd pain in left side but nothing bad. I was going to ask did anyone know how long things take to return to normal so we can try again. I've been told nothing. Think my husband has taken today hard. Think he only accepted what ive been telling him already when he saw. I have known since Friday that no hope so kind of started to accept it just feeling really numb. How are you all?

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laurajane89 · 21/08/2012 18:16

Hi im really sorry to hear of your losses ladies. I also had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago and and only bleed for a day after. I have now got my monthly cycle today which has made me feel really upset :(
Babyjames you can ttc whenever you feel ready it is completely up to you. My nurse told me i could start trying as soon as the bleeding had stopped and when i felt ready which i am going ttc asap as i am desperate for a baby now and i feel its the only way for me to stop feeling so empty

babyjames · 21/08/2012 19:17

Good luck Hayle and Laura for next cycles. Sorry you are so down today Laura. This is all so hard isn't it :(

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RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 21/08/2012 19:20

They saw after an early miscarriage to wait for your first period then you can try again. Is wait till you know everything back to normal in your womb and wait for the cyst to go completely :). It does get a little easier but you will always have down days and you'll never forget The memories x

5madthings · 21/08/2012 19:26

you dont have to wait for your next period to try again, they like you to purely because it makes the pregnancy easier to date, but actually many people, myself included, find it easier to get preg after a miscarriage, i got preg straight away after a miscarriage, the result was my ds2 :) then again some years later and the result was ds3 :)

for some reason you are often more fertile just after a miscarriage.

its all very personal tho, some feel ready to try, othersc hoose to wait, there is no right or wrong unless there is a medical reason that you need to wait, then just do what feels right for you.

am so sorry for your loss ladies xxx

angied41 · 21/08/2012 19:41

Hi , so sorry for your loss.
There is a mis-carriage midwife who is there to support you , it doesnt matter how far along you were you still have to deal with the loss of your baby.
It was the beginning of June when I last mis-carried ,just to let you know if you do need to talk to some one else ,i'm here. Big Hugs x
This poem gave me comfort , i hope it helps you.

An Angel Never Dies

Don't let them say, I wasn't born
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave
I've loved you from the start.

Although my body you can't hold,
It doesn't mean I'm gone.
This world was worthy, not, of me
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face.
You have my word, I'll fill your arms
Someday we will embrace.

You'll hear that it was "meant to be,
God doesn't make mistakes"
But that won't soften your worst blow..
Or make your heart not ache.

I'm watching over all you do,
another child you'll bear.
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
And then you'll understand.

Although, I've never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes..
That doesn't mean I never "was"
An Angel Never Dies........

Haylebop12 · 21/08/2012 20:44

Angie, your so right. Before I had experienced this I thought that having an early mc must not be that bad, then I went through it. You grieve the loss of what may have been.

Thanks *babyjames I'm hoping for a BFP next week but going to be an anxious time if I do. Never realised it happened to you, always other people.

*5madthings I didn't wait until my first AF but when I got it was kinda glad because to me it showed everything was performing as it should. Just worried my cycle length may have changed and I mistimed TTC.

So, you don't have to wait. They just prefer you to for dating purposes. I read your meant to be more fertile 6 months after an mc.

Just remember getting PG is such a complicated process and 1 in 4 pg's end this way. It's no consolation for what we are or have gone through but we can do this ladies :-) hence why men don't have to go through it, they wouldn't cope!!

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 21/08/2012 20:58

I read an angel never dies after i lost my baby boy at 23weeks, the last verse is the best and relates to me the most. It's a beautiful poem!

Haylebop12 · 21/08/2012 21:04

riley it must have been so hard for you. I cabr imagine how you must have felt when it seems that past 20wk your outbid the "danger zone"
I pray that this does not happen to anyone.

I got an early scan at 7wk as I was admitted with HG. I saw its heartbeat so even though at my 12wk one there wasn't a heartbeat to me I know that baby had been alive and grew and developed. Heartbreaking.

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 21/08/2012 21:41

I had a miscarriage last week at 7-8 weeks after seeing heartbeat at 6weeks, it broke ky heart its hard no matter what stage you loose a baby I found it a little easier this time. Nothing can prepare you for it. I hope your ok, its helped me reading poems. Nobody ever mentions my little man anymore its like he never was which is heart breaking.

Haylebop12 · 21/08/2012 21:48

I think some people struggle to know what to say. I personally didn't mind talking about it but friends may think you don't even want to think about it.
It's pretty shit some days, especially updates on fb but I know I'll get my 2nd dc soon. Dd is 3.6.

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 21/08/2012 22:30

What does dd and dc mean? None of my friends talk to me anymore since I lost him which was over 4 months ago, which is sad but I've learnt to live with it. I talk about my little boy riley everyday with my bf it puts a smile on my face. I have little brothers and sisters its hard to talk to them because they put it harshly but thats hecaise they don't understand.

babyjames · 22/08/2012 07:55

Pregnancy is so scary and risky. Riley its sad your friends don't talk to you. I am finding it good to talk things through. Have you had any counseling? My friends baby was born sleeping earlier this year which is truely tragic. I feel a bit of a fraud grieving for the loss of my pregnancy after what she and some of you ladies have been through. Still hurts though. That poem is just lovely.
I'm off for more bloods today to confirm that hormones are falling. Still bleeding at the moment so cant yet start trying again. Did anyone get given any leaflets or anything? I literally have been told nothing which I think is very bad practice. Not even to not DTD until stopped bleeding which I read can cause infection!

OP posts:
Haylebop12 · 22/08/2012 08:12

Dd is dear daughter and dc dear child/children.
I'm saddened to think you don't have anyone to talk to. It's such a sad time where no one really understands as every experience is different.

Haylebop12 · 22/08/2012 08:16

You should get some leaflets. Your best waiting until bleeding has stopped because of infection. Ask for some if they still
Don't give you anything. Sounds like your hospitals are very poor in their service. Makes me realise how lucky I was as my hospital were dav. Also get the number of your epu. I found that they gave great advice when I was going through mine. But also on here you will get advice albeit not medical but maybe it will provide reassurance that everything is ok.

HiHowAreYou · 22/08/2012 08:44

So sorry you are going through this ladies.

RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 22/08/2012 10:43

I have a big family, which are all like close friends which help me get through it :). My 13 year old brother told my 7 year old brother that my baby boy riley was getting eaten by worms! My lb has taken this terribly as it is, he's been acting up, wetting the bed and crying in his sleep about it :(. He's only good when im there. Even my 5 year old brother has been pooing the bed. It hurts seeing them like this because there so young i didnt think itd affect them. Sorry for chatting on!

babyjames · 22/08/2012 13:44

Ahh Riley you have so much to deal with. I remember some story books which maybe helpful for the little ones to help process the information. I will try and find out what they were. I came across them when I was looking to help my friend after her DD was born sleeping. It may help you if you are able to help them deal with the pain as then you can just focus on you.

I am waiting to hear back from the EPU with results of bloods today. I found the whole NHS service very disjointed and slightly worrying that not been informed of anything even a leaflet. Have found Mumsnet and The Miscarriage Association very helpful and supportive these last few days.

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CamelKnees · 22/08/2012 13:57

babyjames hope you don't mind me nipping in to say I'm so so gutted for you. Take care of yourself.

Also my deepest sympathies to all you other ladies. So many incredibly sad losses.

MyLittleMiracles · 22/08/2012 14:16

I am so sorry for those who are miscarrying or who have. (((hugs)))
I suffered two missed miscarriages, the first 6 years and 2months ago, the second will be 4years next week. I now have a DS aged 2, but it doesn't make it easier. Be gentle to yourselves.

babyjames · 22/08/2012 15:29

Thanks Camel and My it is very sad times :(

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RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 22/08/2012 15:39

Thank you babyjames that would help a lot :)

babyjames · 22/08/2012 17:39

These are some book titles Riley, sorry don't know how to add links! I think prob get on Amazon:

  1. We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead

2. Something Happened: A book for children and parents who have experienced pregnancy loss.
3. Mollys Rosebush

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babyjames · 22/08/2012 17:42

We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead [Paperback]
Pat Schwiebert (Author), Taylor Bills (Illustrator)
rice: £5.19 & this item Delivered FREE in the UK with Super Saver Delivery. See details and conditions
You Save: £0.53 (9%)

In stock.
Dispatched from and sold by

OP posts:
RileyLeeHargreaves2012 · 22/08/2012 22:21

Thank you :-). I'll be getting them soon. X

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