Baby died at 9 weeks.

[DonkeyTeapot]

I went for my 12 week scan today, as soon as the sonographer started I could see that there was no movement on the screen. She said she couldn't find a heartbeat and that the sac was measuring 9 weeks. I saw the doctor and asked if there was any possibility that there had been a mistake (although I knew there wasn't really). She explained that they would be able to detect a heartbeat by this stage even if I was only actually 9 weeks pregnant. (I was 12+3 by my last period but think it was less by actual conception date.) I took the tablet, and have to go back on Wednesday for the rest.

I sort of knew this pregnancy wasn't going anywhere. It popped into my head out of nowhere when I was about 7 weeks. I just couldn't see it happening, but I told myself I was being silly.

From a logical point of view, there was obviously something wrong and the body terminated the pregnancy. In principle, I can handle that, and I'd much rather it happen now than in, say, ten weeks' time.

But, in reality, I've lost my baby and I am so upset. I'm upset for DP, who is putting a brave face on it and being strong for me. I'm upset for DD who is only 11 months and has no idea she would have had a sibling around new year.

I don't know what else to say, and I don't know what I want anyone else to say really. I guess I just have to get on with it.

[AprilMeadow]

Donkey, I'm so sorry to read of your loss. I had a mc 2 weeks ago at 10wks and it was horrid. Everyone knew i was pg as it would have been dc5.

Take it easy over the next few days, which i know is easier said than done with a small one in the house.

Are they monitoring your hormone level? I had to have a blood test after my scan in the EPAU and then call for the hCg level the next day. Then on Wednesday just gone i had to do a pg test to make sure it was negative. Mine wasn't so had to go back for a blood test yesterday. 2 wks and 3 days after I had the mc my hCg levels are still at 74 and they need to be 5. They told me that perhaps i should have waited longer to test so have to do another in 1 week. I am telling you this so you know of the hCg level requirement, just incase yours is high when it comes back. Having never gone through this before I had no idea what a none pg level was so had no idea whether the 7577 level i got 2wks ago was good or bad.

It is a very hard thing to go through and whilst most of the time i am quite positive, i do get the odd day where is smacks me round the face and i can't help but feel sad.

I have found that talking about it has helped enormously, almost like a free counselling session.

Look after yourself x

[DonkeyTeapot]

Thank you April, I am sorry you've been going through this too :( No, they're not monitoring anything, although I do have to go back to the hospital on Friday, I guess they will probably get me to do a pregnancy test or something then. I have no idea about hCg levels or anything - why does it have to be 5? Is that an indicator that the body is returning to normal?

I am doing ok but it really helped to be able to talk to a friend of mine who, when I told her, told me she had miscarried her 2nd. She now has three DC, and her youngest is the same age as my DD. What really helped was being able to talk about it without worrying about grossing her out, probably sounds daft, but there it is.

One question though - why has EVERYONE IN THE WORLD picked this week to ask when we'll be having another? This is the week we'd have been telling all and sundry, and instead we're laughing it off saying things like "oh, all in good time!" and other silly vague non-committal comments. On the way back from the scan on Monday DP saw someone in the shop when he stopped to buy me a drink, someone asked him then. Talk about timing. I know they don't know, but my god, it doesn't help.

[AprilMeadow]

Anything less than 5 is considered 'normal' and would give a negative result.

Pretty much everyone around me knew about the pregnancy so keep having people ask how far along i am or when's the scan. So have to give them the bad news. Also, like you I have had the 'will you have anymore' comments, so i just say that we have just lost one and that NO there won't be anymore. 4 is plenty :)

I hope all goes well on Friday for you.