Email from my child’s infant school uk? I’m sorry but this all seems wrong?

[Frazzledmomma123]

Dear Families,

I wanted to address a concern that has understandably been raised regarding the use of a ‘safe word’ to move children out of the classroom. On reflection, we recognise that terms such as safe word and evacuation can raise anxiety and concern.

We agree that children should not have to leave their own classroom in order to feel safe. However, there are times, though not daily, when moving the class is the safest option for all children. This has happened a few times, and only when absolutely necessary. We fully accept having to go to such measures is a worry, but it is a system that schools are having to turn to more and more. I appreciate this provides little comfort, but hopefully helps you hear that supporting emotional regulation has become a real focus and factor for schools nationally.

The children themselves were involved in choosing the word, and the purpose was to minimise panic and keep the situation calm if it needed to be used. Our aim is always for every child to feel safe, happy, and able to learn in their classroom, as is their right. We are putting a range of steps and strategies in place to work towards this, and we do not intend this approach to become the “go‑to.”

We also want to reassure you that we are supporting children to understand that behaviour is a communication of feelings, but the way those feelings are shown must still be safe and appropriate. We do not condone unsafe behaviour, and we share parents’ concerns about children seeing this as “normal.” I have spoken with the class to reiterate that message and reminded them that they should always talk to a trusted adult if they feel unsure or worried. In school, children choose five trusted adults; it may be helpful to have a similar conversation at home about who your child feels they can talk to at school.

We are very aware that things are challenging at the moment. We do not want this to continue, and we are actively putting support in place to help all children feel safe and settled in their learning environment.

Thank you for reading, please keep speaking to us about your concerns.

I think seeing a classmate being forcibly restrained by multiple adults would be very distressing to the rest of the class, much better that they are removed from witnessing this.
And it really isn't your business to know the "consequences" for the child, any more than you would want other parents to be given updates on your own child's behaviour and outcomes.

To all those saying the child kicking off should be removed, if it was your 20 something possibly pregnant daughter who was having chairs thrown at her would you be saying the same or for her (and the other children) to leave? Yes she could call for other staff but it would take time for them to arrive in the mean time someone could be injured and remaining there would be more distressing for the other children

In the moment, when I'm melting down, the consequences of doing so aren't in my mind at all.

Look up "impaired executive function". Impaired executive function is why the emergency stop on machinery is a yellow box or plate with a big red button on top. Impaired executive function is why fire doors all open via bars that you lean on. Someone whose executive functioning is impaired is unable to reason in that moment. Think of when something has shocked you so much that you cannot verbally respond. IEF is that turned up to eleven.

Autistic meltdown is impaired executive function in situations where a neurotypical person wouldn't experience it, like getting too hot, gettimg dehydrated, or reaching my limit of how much learning I can take in that day.

In my forties, I can articulate this and recognise the early signs and leave/take my cardigan off/chug some water. At eight, I couldn't.

I live in England and my children go to an infants school. In year 3 they will go to a seperate junior school. So yes we do use the term infants in England.

For safety, of the child in question, the other children and the staff.

As someone has already said it is easier to remove 29 calm children than one throwing scissors.

This case seems to be about a child who becomes violent but I've had similar with a student who had a number of medical conditions including that she would sometimes have a seizure.

It would be dangerous to even attempt to move her.

Apart from the danger it is not very dignified and could involve loosing bladder control. She was on first name terms with the paramedics.

No sympathy for the autistic child whose needs aren't being met either? Not sure why you even work in a school.

Why do you think a child who is physically disabled would just stay at home? My son is physically disabled and goes to mainstream.

If pp home educates, the LA would no longer have the legal responsibility to find a specialist provision for her child which is clearly what is best for him. Of course a parent is going to do what is best for their child. The only thing to blame here is the system forcing children into mainstream when it is obviously not suited to them.

Oh ok.

10 years ago this sort of thing (kid being dysregulated) was very are in primary classrooms.

What has changed?

10 years ago there was more send funding, more special schools running, slightly smaller classes and less harsh focus on meeting curriculum targets.

Now with all that reduced, schools are at breaking point, children are being forced into structured routine with less play based learning at just turned 4 and cracks are wearing, not just in the system but in children's mental health.

I didn't know funding changed in the last 10 years. So there were more specialised schools where kids with severe needs could learn even 10 years ago?

How much has funding per child in primary been cut? And if these kids were in mainstream 10 years ago, we'd still know about it even if they had support?

Are there more dysregulated children now? Or is being dysregulated handled differently at home and school? Or do more children struggle with emotional regulation due to changes in parenting, screens from babyhood, fewer opportunities to be physically active, no sure start and expectations in school?

Was going in 10 years ago. Thats when I had a chair thrown at me .

Again, so many reasons! One poster pointed out that practically all babies and toddlers "are violent", if you have a 7 year old child with the global understanding of an 18 month old, they are going to lash out, throw things. I've seen non-verbal children in mainstream year 4 still waiting for a specialist school place. Sometimes in children with SEND, the development of all areas doesn't come all at once, so their academics might develop ahead and their emotional regulation lacks behind. Some SEND kids have huge impulse control issues. Some are completely overwhelmed with how noisy and chaotic classrooms are (even more so these days) and the sensory experience feels like intense pain to them, so "violence" is actually an intense distress behaviour.

Children like this weren't sent to mainstream classes a generation ago. There's been a massive push for 'inclusion' and a complete stripping of specialist places. Except inclusion didn't come with the funding, or curriculum change or building changes, they just shoved all the children with SEND back into the mainstream classes and the teachers had to do a half day training course about using visual timetables.

Oh and this government wants even more 'inclusion' while taking away tribunal powers of naming and directing a special school (often the only way these kids get into special school) - so perhaps think about filling in the national white paper consultation.

Turn your statement round and it will read that you have no symphathy for the 19/14/29 children plus teaching staff affected by this dangerous behaviour.

School should be a safe place and if a class is regularly evacuated because of one child's behaviour I would question how safe the school really is for all the other children. 13 pages and nobody really cares.

Almost every single person has agreed there should be children who benefit from special school.

The reality is the LA is actively working against parents, teachers and students to keep them in main stream because special school places are limited, schools have been closed and funding to them has been cut.

How do you get anything else from this thread is beyond me. The English school system (probably also British, possibly UK wide) has been broken by the current and previous government.

And we are now seeing this in real time.

Knowing this, what exactly do you want done with this hypothetical child throwing chairs?
Teachers should not be expected to harm the child or themselves, what option is left? It's very easy to say "send them to a special school" but it practice that takes years.

Of course I do but that child is also being failed and you display a big lack of empathy towards them.

Parents of ND children who keep their kids home when they’re dysregulated get fined and prosecuted for non attendance.

You can withdraw your child from school which avoids the fines but also effectively means that you won’t be given a special school place as you are deemed to be home educating.

I know a lot of SEN parents and I have never met a single parent whose child behaves like that who doesn’t want them moved to a special school. There are simply no places, and you have to take the LA to court to even get them to consider you.

@Frazzledmomma123 I do wish to clarify something. The most disruptive children in primary and secondary for both my children were NOT Send. They had shitty childhoods with incapable neglectful parents and were acting out in school because that was their safe environment. Contrary to my autistic DS1 who "behaved" in school and then came home as a shaken bottle of Coke having a meltdown at home because that was his safe place.
Edit to add; all SEN kids actually had 1:1 support so could go out and take a break when needed (including my ds1). This is what every SEN child in mainstream needs.

Covid is the biggest change in the last 10 years.

Children at the most extreme end of the spectrum, who would have received early help and special school places, weren’t assessed and then ended up in mainstream.

All children missed some vital developmental stages - NT children were noticeably behind socially and children whose disabilities included social communication skills were very severely impacted.

Primative reflexes, which are part of the mechanism by which children move from babies to toddlers needed movement which wasn’t happening leading to more children starting school in nappies, and with other significant developmental delays.

The whole education system needs a real overhaul, less focus on strict curriculum learning, play based until 6 or 7 years.

More special schools, more focus on sets based on ability rather than age. Smaller size classes.

Not every child is academic. Ofsted grading means very little.

When my son’s infant school placement was completely falling apart, the headteacher informed me that he’d have to be “drowning” to be eligible for a special school place. Lovely word to use.

He actually was ‘drowning’, but they didn’t care enough to notice. Instead they accused me of lying and paranoia and insisted he wasn’t autistic. It was an Ofsted outstanding school.

No other mainstream state school could offer what he needed - small quiet classes and a full-time 1:1 LSA who would actually stay with him rather than leave him on his own to not learn anything, have severe sensory overload, and on one occasion be assaulted because she’d been deployed to other children who urgently needed an EHCP but didn’t have one.

The only options we had were private school or giving up my job to homeschool. We moved 100 miles to a private school in a much cheaper area with more affordable fees and brilliant SEN support, small quiet classes, and an LSA who was always with him. That school was his haven for 3 years until his needs became too complex even for there, and the LA finally placed him at a special school. Even then we had to threaten tribunal as they wanted to plonk him in a 1,500 pupil comprehensive and get him to learn through the window. Genuinely.

There aren’t enough places at SEN schools and LAs don’t want to pay for them. And Labour has committed to placing more SEN pupils in mainstream state schools.

How nice it would be to live in a world where consequences, punishments and removal of screens would solve my severely autistic son’s needs.

I'm surprised by the number of people acting like evacuating the classroom due to violent children is a brand new phenomenon.

I'm in my mid-30s and was in a primary school class with a child who used to flip tables. We had to leave more than once. I don't remember being especially frightened. It was "just James". He was a nice enough kid when he wasn't throwing stuff and wasn't ever throwing things at people.

Another girl in my class was also incredibly disruptive (diagnosed with autism when we got to secondary). She was also really great - incredibly clever and creative - but would run away from lessons, have tantrums in the middle of the class etc. Although, she was never violent.

There were more that I could name too. Maybe I was unlucky. Maybe my school had an unusually high rate of SEN pupils. We were definitely a very large school. but we were otherwise your average UK Primary, as far as I can tell.

I don't know but when I was a child (1960s) people said the same about TV. My husband's mother told him off for reading books too much!

It's very easy and "in" right now to blame screens, as it's a nice easy scapegoat that takes blame away from the government.
The school system is hurting kids, not iPads.

It is unreasonable that a whole class are missing out on their education because of one disruptive child, Is it not possible to have a small separate class for all the potentially disruptive children in the school, each doing their own appropriate school work and with specifically trained staff? Rather than having disruptive children scattered through all the classes.