Anyone else just feel "stuck"

[helpamummaout]

So this is going to sound a bit woe is me but just wanting to see if anyone else feels the same, or even has advice if they came out the other side.
I've been in my current job for almost 7 years, band 3 in the NHS, always want to do more, learn more. There's been carrots dangled every now and again about career progression but nothing ever comes of it due to funding or other reasons. I feel brain dead. I'm 31 and I just don't want to carry on there anymore, but at the same time I have almost 4 year old twins, can't afford to just quit and go back to education. I've been looking at jobs everyday but can't seem to find anything or if I do the shifts wouldn't suit due to childcare costs.
Thanks for reading this far, hopefully someone insightful will come along and give me some advice to get me out of this rut.

In an ideal world what would you do?

I have very much felt this way before (Also NHS where thanks to Afc there are a few 'ruts' in progression) and have managed to get out by basically networking with others and making my wishes known so when the opportunity came up I was there and ready. The biggest mistake I made was thinking it would come to me as I was lroactive/enthusiastic/reliable/keen etc. Nope, good old fashioned putting myself out there was the thing that worked in the end.

Sympathies as it's a really soul destroying place to be xxx

Thank you @SlB09 nice to hear from someone who gets it. Oh I'm always putting myself out there, bringing it up in appraisals, researching courses ect and passing on the Information which often just goes ignored. I've been asking myself that question a lot lately but I really don't know, maybe work in the mental health sector.

I'm also an experienced band 3 in the nhs and I have realised in the last few years that no matter how hard we work, how much work we take on, how many courses or study days or learning we do, without that piece of paper it is near impossible to progress beyond a band 3. I'm doing an access to higher education diploma at the moment and plan to apply to uni next year to do a degree, if I'm not accepted I'll probably leave and do something different/more creative.

Sorry to sound so negative, I work in primary care and it's made me ill the last year it's so bad. The gps and nurses do most of their appointments over the phone, meanwhile I'm run ragged with over subscribed face to face patient clinics, many of whom have quite complicated needs. I'm always running behind, the other day I was reduced to tears in the end by a woman who was so nasty because she had to wait ten minutes past her appointment time, I have visits, admin jobs, ordering, cleaning, writing up, meetings on top of all this. It's nearly killed me in the last week alone, but I'm 'just a band 3'. Sorry for the rant OP, but I completely sympathise with you

I was similar at a similar age - stuck at the top of Band 3, nowhere to progress as I didn’t have a degree.
I ended up leaving the NHS and doing something in a similar type of role, but different industry. A few years later I’m now the equivalent of a Band 6 in job role/responsibility. Although not quite band 6 pay-wise - the NHS pay is almost always higher than private sector pay in my type of role.

Sorry I'm going to reply to everyone separately as I'm using the mobile app @Flossieskeeper I would love to do a band 4 apprenticeship, I've tried looking into it so many times but feel I always hit a brick wall as there never seems to be vacancies. I haven't tried the website you suggested though so I will try that thank you

@Junepassing no need to apologise at all! I don't think you've been negative it's just the truth isn't it. Some days can feel soul destroying. I think after the last few years with covid ect it kind of makes you wonder what you really want. Sorry you've been going through such a tough time, I can sympathise as we often run late with appointments and I also get it in the neck x

That sounds great @Thriwit do you mind me asking what you went on to do? I just feel there's such a lack of support with the NHS there's no one to ask, managers are always stretched to their limits dealing with other things it just makes you feel like you're at the bottom of the importance pile

Are you in Scotland or England? This makes a difference if you are thinking about nursing. In Scotland you would get a full bursary plus dependants allowance for your twins. If they are coming up to school age is this something you could do? I done mine when I was 38 and my youngest was 11 months old. It wasn't easy but I also stayed on the bank as a band 3 for extra financial support. Although it's not an option for everyone and as I say in England the financial support is different. Hope you feel better soon, as someone already said, it's a horrible place to be x

Thank you @Lillypup unfortunately I am in England so there's not much support in the respect. Thank you x

Could you look into doing a course in Botox ? My lady ex trauma nurse . Is making an absolute fortune.

@Bedsheets4knickers don't think that would be my cup of tea but thank you for the suggestion x

ha it's not for everyone I admit . Hope you find something soon x

Haha good on her though! Thank you x

Anything in the private sector ? I left the nhs as the hospital I was at was crap at progressing people. I wasn't goona stay a band 5 and do the job of a 6 without the wage. Went to a private hospital made band 6 straight away and within 6 months was doing my surgical assistance course
Added more money to my wage and can do three long days which works for my child care

I've a colleague who is studying for a degree part time over 6 years or so. She's a band 3 HCA too with a youngish family. I think she's studying a sociology related subject and doesn't want to become a nurse, rather a social worker or probation officer. She's enjoying it.
What about the OU ? They have all kinds of courses.
I'm a staff nurse and we wouldn't be without our band 3s. I agree getting onto courses is a nightmare.
Have you done venepuncture or ecg study days ?

Most posts say degree or equivalent experience in NHS unless you are looking at a clinical role? So can you apply for a 4 or 5 and talk about your experience instead of the degree?

OP there isn’t any need for this thread to be in AIBU - unless you really want it to be!

There is a brand new ‘Mature Study and Retraining’ board under Education - where lots of people are talking about just these issues. So it would be great to have this thread - which is relevant to so many people, visible there. (MNHQ would happily move your thread if you feel that might be helpful.)

@EdmontinaDonsAutumnalHues I didn’t realise there was such a board, I will try get it changed. I posted in here as previously I post on quiet boards and don’t get many replies. Thank you everyone

@EdmontinaDonsAutumnalHues

OP there isn’t any need for this thread to be in AIBU - unless you really want it to be!

There is a brand new ‘Mature Study and Retraining’ board under Education - where lots of people are talking about just these issues. So it would be great to have this thread - which is relevant to so many people, visible there. (MNHQ would happily move your thread if you feel that might be helpful.)

Not quite sure how I get it moved, thought it be able to suss it out but I’m none the wiser

I’ve reported your thread to MNHQ. They’ll sort you out!

Hi OP

We've moved it for you now.
In future, you can report your post to us using the report button and let us know how we can help.

Thank you

Anyone on this board have any helpful advice please?

It’s hard if you’re not entirely sure what you want to do. Can you think about what you think your strengths are and what you like about your current job, and then use that to start researching other options that might be open to you? Do you want to stay in the NHS/health or do you want to change completely?

You could use things like FutureLearn, which offer free short online courses, to give you a taste of other areas If you did want to study and see if you liked them before trying for something official.