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This is getting ridiculous - dd not 'allowed' to see her brother??? Think ex's gf is being difficult.

26 replies

stripeymama · 14/04/2008 20:12

Split up with dd's dad three years ago and have since moved away to live near my family. He left me for a 17 year old (he's now 33, she's now 20) and they now have an 18mo ds. They live together in the house ex and I shared when we were together (a rental property his mum owns)

DD (5) goes for a week every school holiday to stay wih ex's parents - ex refuses to speak to me and will not give me his phone number. He 'can't' have her to stay with him and gf for reasons I'm not sure of - the house is big enough. I really feel for dd - that house was her home for the first two years of her life, she was born in it! Yet she hasn't been there for over a year.

DD adores her brother and is very good with little children, but on the last two visits she has come home saying she didn't see him She has just returned from staying with gp's and said her dad only came over to see her once while she was there for a week (they live a mile from him and he is unemployed so no real excuse). I strongly suspect the gf of making it difficult for him to spend time with dd - she has been like this ever since they got together but since she had her ds its worse. I have ignored it and done my best to comfort dd, but this is getting too much to ignore.

DD wants (needs) to spend time with her brother and dad. I hate the fact that I am just having to resign myself to my dd being sidelined whilst her dad fails to grow a backbone and see what is important - its like she's been discarded and it makes me furious. I know there is very little I can do about it but any ideas welcome.

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 14/04/2008 21:24

Maybe as your dd gets older she can write her dad a letter or an email explaining how hurt she is (in simple child talk, nothing complicated) and hope he realises how deeply his behaviour is affecting his child.

At least you will know you were always there for her and she will know it too.

Personally I did stop contact with dd1's "bio father" because he was a total wanker and I don't regret it, feel guilty or spare a bad thought about it tbh, I've given her everything she needs including a dad who I consider to be her real dad, the best dad she could ever have and I hope when she grows up she will understand why I did what I did, it may come back to bite me on the bum in her rebellious teenage years but its a chance I'm prepared to take knowing that when she has her own children and knows how precious they are she will realise I just wanted the best for her and if she ever meets bio dad will realise he really is a waste of space.

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