Why is there no political impetus to enforce child maintenance?

[the2andahalfmillion]

I have never understood how non-resident parents in the UK are so easily able to evade financial responsibility for their children. There are a wide range of potential sanctions but they are almost never used and anyone who is self-employed and with half a brain seems totally safe from the reaches of the CMS.

This isn't a post about my individual situation, and I am far 'luckier' than most. Mostly I want to know why no-one seems to care about this and what we can do to make them care, and change or at the very least, implement, the law.

I want to know if there are countries where the financial burden of raising kids in separated families is truly equally shared between resident and non-resident parents? Why can't we do what they do?

And why does no political party in the UK ever bother to touch this subject? It's potentially a major vote winner even among those who aren't in single mum parent households.

Why is anything a government issue?

it feels like single parents (women usually) are being gas lighted and told there are sanctions. When in reality there isn’t.

my ex stopped maintenance but as he’s self employed I don’t have options. Other options cost money that I don’t have and with no guarantee.

I agree that CMS should be enforced. However, if that day ever comes and remains consistent, you can be sure as day that child maintenance will be counted as income for benefit purposes...which has pros and cons.

Yes that is what will happen.

It’s interesting though that it’s seen as simpler fir government to offer this rather than enforce cm.

Unfortunately the main problem is that parents think they can "move on" and opt out of responsibilities, that they can start afresh without any sacrifices in the form of raising the children that they have. It's an attitude problem. It should be that parents share the cost of upbringing of their children in a way that is appropriate for their situation without the need for online calculators and enforcement, because they want to. We worked out costs, exh then transferred a fair proportion to me rather than using a calculator that doesn't take into account our circumstances, but I guess I got lucky.

My ex did that too.
until some random woman said to him her ex doesnt pay that so he reduced it! She clearly didn’t appreciate it’s not a race to the bottom. And he was a twat to listen.

Then he stopped paying. So you cannot unfortunately be secure enough to think that it won’t change. As I learnt to my cost.

@WillLiveLife what do you mean by using the CMS to supplement their income? Do you know what the CMS is?

This particular sanction in the UK is not of much use, compared to the US.

In the US you are required by law to have some sort of ID on you and expected to produce it on the spot if asked by law enforcement, plus for buying alcohol, hiring a car, or buying a gun!

A deadbeat dad in the UK wouldn't be very inconvenienced by not having a driving licence or passport.

It’s fucking scandalous that parents can just disappear and not pay for the children they have willingly conceived. A friend is going through it at the moment. 2 children 10 & 4. At Christmas she got the “I love you but I’m not in love with you” bollocks. By the end of January, he’d gone and he hasn’t paid a penny since, for the children or the mortgage or anything. She is trying through all the usual channels but everything takes forever (he is self employed and lying through his teeth) She can’t afford everything on her own so her parents are covering it until it’s sorted. He is, of course, now shacked up with the 24 year old he left her for, not seeing his dc, and posting pictures of his holidays and meals out with her. Twat. Personally, I would jail these integrity devoid fuckwits. That might encourage a few more to actually pay?

Society doesn’t judge non payers harshly enough

Agree with pp that some new partners might encourage reducing payments.

The problem with legally mandating child maintenance payments is that it would cost the government money to do so. Unless maintenance payments were means tested, it would not be within their interest to enforce it.

I’ve known a number of cases of self employed men who just lied about their earnings. My ex was self employed, paid himself minimum wage, but his retired parents got £30k a year each as ‘shareholders’ - which they immediately gave to him. Plus various other financial shenanigans. Started as a tax wheeze, and was all offshore to boot, I found out about it only after he left, when with great glee he informed me that the CMS would only expect him to pay a tiny amount, but if I asked nicely he would let me have extra. Left me in the position of having to basically beg for any financial help. Then after a while he decided to stop paying anything, as he reckoned the ‘extra’ he had paid was enough. I couldn’t pay the mortgage and lost the house. Was temporarily homeless with a toddler. Clawed my way back to solvency until health issues interfered, but I will never forgive him. He and his parents (who are filthy rich) told me I should take DD and go and live in a council B&B or a hostel for the homeless. I now have a tiny house, and barely enough to live on as can only work part time, but will never ask him for a penny again, as he will just use it as a power trip. And he wanted to have a child. God only knows what men who didn’t want their children are like. I’m just lucky I work in a field where there was the potential to earn well once I shifted to the right sector (moved from the ‘not for profit’ sector to the ‘screw you I need money’ sector, aka the City!)

What are you meant to do when the father lies to the cms and they're telling you that you have to prove they earn more than they're telling them?

The whole system is a joke, the fact that a NRP can deduct money for children of the new partner they move in with is absolutely insane.

The resident parent 'only' has the child Monday to Friday? £50 a week is shameful.

@AllTheChaos I didn’t think the pond scum I procreated had any competition…yet here we are

I feel your pain, @Betterbuckleupbarbara. Pond scum about sums it up!

Agree with this

As others have said..absolute rubbish. Pretty sure raising a child costs more than £200 a month 🙄🤨

It was a pragmatic piece of policy making. Enforcement was expensive and felt disproportionate to the money it was successful in raising for mothers and children. CM was unlinked from benefits so the mother and children were getting enough regardless (whether that’s enough anymore is of course a separate issue). Alongside this the rate was set at what was considered to be low - to encourage payment.

For those in lower incomes it is still high but the reality is for lower income families it might only be financially viable to provide one family home.

For those earning above average it is lower than they might have been ordered to pay years ago but the idea was that it was more likely to be paid - and parents could pay above the mandated rate by choice.

Totally agree. I think the money should be paid to the resident parent by the government and the non-resident parent then owes it in the same way as tax - completely non-negotiable and attracting interest and penalties if not paid.

You aren’t paying for wrap around childcare (here that would be £500 a month) or all their clothes, food, endlessly outgrown shoes, after school clubs, school trips etc though. Children are expensive. You have them two days a week with no childcare costs, so based on half that still leaves 1.5 days a week worth of costs to cover if you were to be paying half (not including childcare).
Having said that, I recognise that from £1,500 take home, £200 is a lot. And you still need to be able to afford the additional space to have the stay with you. As you don’t have the child Mon-Fri are you able to change career to something better paid? You must only be on about £20k unless you’ve got massive student loan debt / large pension deductions?

I agree with this, it could be done.
I bet STI rates would absolutely plummet too as men would be much more invested in the outcome of un-protected sex.!

He’s currently at nursery all week so my partner only has him evenings and breakfast. He gets 85% of the childcare back and a good chunk on top of that because he doesn’t pay his tax properly.

Out of interest are people working? Like I had him solely for a short time and that’s the richest I’ve ever been. I’m not sure how people are struggling to live on benefits because that wasn’t my experience at all and I wasn’t getting anything from him.

I have a mortgage? Why would I lie?