Going away solo with baby

[notunworldlywise]

Maybe the SAD is kicking in with the current wet and windy weather but I'll be on mat leave next year with my first baby due in January. Would it be completely bizarre and not doable to go abroad solo for maybe a month with baby when they are around 6 months old. I'm having a hard time with very on-off relationship with baby's father so right now thinking f-it and book an Airbnb somewhere warm to make memories whilst I can not being at work. Obviously this is all very dependent on baby's arrival and how they are but am I completely bonkers or has anyone done anything like this before?

Go for it. Maybe do it more 4.5 to 5 months-ish when baby is less likely to be mobile and you don’t need to worry about weaning but is old enough that you’d probably have a decent nap routine….it will be more of a break for you if you’re not having to chase them around the pool.

I personally wouldn’t do it alone with a baby closer to a year, we first went abroad when DS was 11 months and just starting to take his first steps and honestly it was hard work as he’d crawl off in the direction of the pool or he’d be trying to pull himself up and climb on the sun loungers…it was nice to have someone to tag team with at that age so we both got a few hours laying out in the sun! But I’d definitely go alone up to around 6 months, maybe 7 at a push but depends when baby starts crawling.

Are you putting dad on the birth certificate? I think he needs to give permission if it's more than 28 days

"What would be even better is if you could go with a friend or family member."

Really? I absolutely loved going on my own. Loved it.

Go for it
I went to Australia with my baby (in March) for 6 weeks. She was 7 months old. I had some family living near Noosa and some in Sydney but we mostly Airbnb’d. My husband is freelance and took the time away from work to do it and come with us, I would have gone by myself tho! (It might have been easier solo most of the time!)
Everyone thought we were mad (long journey, the money, messing routine etc). It was the best thing I have ever done in my life and wish I could relive that precious, incredible time xx

I took my dd to cuba when she was 8 months. Just by myself. I wanted to make most of mat leave and flights were last minute but ridiculously cheap.

I would say absolutely go for it.

If you breastfeed it makes life a lot easier as youre not needing to sterilise bottles, find suitable water, etc.

If you go somewhere potentially very hot then book somewhere with aircon and access to a swimming pool (pack loads of baby swim nappies).

I took DD to our holiday home (abroad) when she was 4 months old, we were alone for less than a week (my mum was there the first few days) and I absolutely hated it, none of our neighbours were home and I felt very alone and vulnerable, so from that point of view I would choose somewhere where there will be other people around. I took DD’s playmat and baby gym with us and she mostly just chilled on there, had a brief dip in the pool each day and we went for walks and that was about it! Would also check wherever you decide to go about which bottled water (if formula feeding) is suitable for babies as the mineral content is too high in some of them. Oh and DD is now 4 and an excellent travel companion!

Wow, thank you so much for all of your replies! I obviously wouldn't book anything until much closer to the time and all being well could be last minute so hopefully would get good flight deals. Yes father will be on birth certificate, so thanks to the PP's highlighting potential issues with that

The South of Tenerife is a fab place to take babies - I took my youngest at 12 weeks. You can rent anything you need, like buggies, sterilisers, cots etc. The temperature is reliably warm, but not hot. Hospitals are great and easily accessible - there is a dedicated paediatric A&E at the one we needed.
Agree with PPs, to go before baby starts weaning. Not only is it easier for them to just be on milk and, if you're breastfeeding, you won't need to take anything extra for that side of it. But I'd also want to be at home in case of any allergic reactions as you start weaning onto foods.

I don't see why so many people think weaning is problematic - if you do BLW so you're not pureeing stuff, and get a place with a high chair, you'll be fine. And if you go to a restaurant in a Mediterranean country with a baby, the waiters will be so helpful and sweet with you.

My other more general advice (from experience), would be that it's never too early to go to baby groups after your baby arrives. Forcing yourself out of the house to meet other mums is amazingly helpful if you're feeling down.

Sounds great! Have an amazing time

Do it! I’d love to do this now except I have THREE aged 5 and under so solo isn’t an option 😂 but my husband and I took our eldest to Hawaii for a fortnight when he was 5 months. So worth it!

Gosh I would have loved to see this post a year ago my baby is 9m now I would have come with you!

I think 5-6 months is a good age as they're not crawling yet so you can lay a blanket out and play with them and also not weaning yet so no hassle with food. They are also often sleeping more through the night by then.

Do it!!! Don’t stay in one place! If you can afford it then travel the world!

Also go as soon as you’re able! Don’t wait! Young babies seem hard but I promise you it’s the easiest time in some ways! Especially to travel! You need very little despite what people say!!!

I could certainly have done this with either of mine at that age or before and enjoyed it. I’d suggest getting a decent sling. I wouldn’t attempt it alone now with 1.5 and 3 year old.

I actually think that if he is going to be on the birth certificate that he is also an equal parent and deserves the opportunity to bond with your equal child. I say this having been through hell with my ex who tried to block me going abroad for two weeks with our 22 month child because I was ‘mental’. The courts allowed me to go!

If you are anything like me, you will need a good support network around you when you are a new mum and so wait to see how it goes (our child was in special care, then I got seriously unwell too and needed to recover from that - still am 7 years later!)so although it sounds like a great idea and I definitely think a 2 week holiday would be fine - a lot longer than that would be very tough for a caring parent to be left behind - and you have to accept he may well want to do the same at some stage and how will you handle that?

I just did 6 weeks away with a DS 7-turned 8 month old and a DD 2-turned 3 year old to extend our summer.

My husband was with us but working in the days so it was just me and the kids in the day for a lot of it.

I made sure DS had had all his vaccinations before we left. We still ended up in hospital as he had diarrhoea for over a week (guessing he drank some bathwater, our AirBnB was well-water-supplied so we avoided drinking it), so make sure you have your (and baby's) UKHIC cards and insurance (just in case it's something awful). If you don't have one already wait until baby is born and registered as its easier to apply for them both at once online (if you already have one you have to fill in a form for baby, my first form got lost at their end so it wasn't a speedy process).

Also consider the temperature of where you're going. Portugal was hot so it was tricky to take the kids out in the day (heaps of suncream, 2 hoods on the inline buggy, practically naked children). DS really wanted to eat all the sand at the beach so although it was nice to be on the beach is was far from relaxing for me.

He also became mobile while we were away so we had to buy a jumperoo and soft floor mats (tiled floor everywhere!) from fb marketplace to slightly babyproof the AirBnB, an expense we hadn't forseen.

Baby food is also different abroad so consider that if you start weaning beforehand and perhaps pack some of baby's favourite ones to take with you. I BF but if doing formula the same goes for that.

There were also no baby groups (or none that I could find, and they would have been in Portuguese anyway) so if that's your thing be prepared for a break from that. It can be a bit tiring thinking of ways to entertain a baby that age all day without help!

We also invited all our friends/family out (rented somewhere with a spare room) as it spread the parenting load on to grandparents and friends too, which was great and I would recommend! They just paid for their flight. Gives you a grown up to talk to so you don't go mad with babytalk.

Also (important one!) All airlines will give you 2 pieces of free check-in luggage for babies and children (so travel cot, car seat or buggy, the last of which you can use up to the gate then hand over at the gate). If you keep the box from your car seat, there is lots of space around it to pack other "cushioning things for your seat's protection" like clothes, nappies, blankets etc. that you might need. Same with a travel cot, cram it to increase your baggage allowance. Although you can buy nappies anywhere of course! You also get an additional piece of carry on luggage for a baby who doesn't have their own seat so do check the allowances for that. These 3 bonus luggage items weren't clear from booking but I'd read about them elsewhere so don't miss out on them!

I would do it again though 😀 we're thinking about January already 😁

My first son was an easy baby and I did something similar. I totally agree that it would be better to do it at 4-6 months, he still pretty much slept anywhere at that stage and I didn’t have to worry about food/weaning.

My tips would be:

• Book an apartment with a terrace or balcony so you don’t need to go out in the evenings (I found it was much easier to eat out at lunchtime whilst he was sleeping than try to go out in the evening when he was grouchy). I liked having a plate of cheese, meats, breads and olives on the balcony while he slept.
• Book somewhere with at least one separate room (eg. a proper bedroom and separate lounge) so you don’t have to worry about waking him up.
• Take your own travel cot (the baby bjorn one is excellent). The ones you get in hotels/apartments don’t always meet safe sleep guidelines.
• Take stuff so you can sterilize bottles/pumps etc. Check that the place you’re staying has a fridge, kettle and ideally a microwave if you’re going to be pumping. I carried round a pop up washing up bowl, bottle brush, sterilizing tablets and washing up liquid.
• If you’re going to be using cars/taxis then I highly recommend the doona (it’s not the most amazing car seat but so much better than any of the options we’ve been offered by hire companies and taxis).
• Accept that you’ll need to be flexible and it won’t be the same as a normal holiday. My son woke early and slept early so we did lots of early morning walks and lunches but then spent the evening in the apartment (he slept through the night from 12ish weeks and I didn’t want to disrupt that pattern!)
• I wouldn’t plan to move accommodation or travel between cities (unless it’s an easy day trip). It’s way too much hassle moving everything around and the most relaxing holidays I/we had with a baby is when we based ourselves in one place.
• Budget for a taxi to and from the airport. You don’t want to be trying to get all the baby stuff/baby around on public transport or a bus.
• Slings or baby wraps are really useful for when you need your hands free or the terrain isn’t suitable for a pushchair.
• Don’t book anywhere that is only accessible by hundreds of steps (we made this mistake in Dubrovnik 🤦🏻‍♀️)

I’d also wait to book anything until right before you’re planning to go. Some babies thrive on routine, hate cars and being in prams and need very specific circumstances to sleep. If you have a baby like this then it might not be such a fun or relaxing trip. Alternatively you might still be recovering or not really in the mood to travel.

I’ve just taken a four month old to Playa Blanca in Lanzarote and can vouch it was a great choice! Took a plastic basin and Milton tablets for his bottles, and an inflatable baby chair. Get a cheap pram off Marketplace and take a baby sling for the plane. Happy travels!

It will be awesome!!! Do it! Totally easy when they c are ‘fun sized’ and can be tied to you in a carrier and nap and come along everywhere!

have a hoot!

as already mentioned only issue is going father to sign off for going to a different country.

Slightly different but my and husband and I decided to go away for a month to Madeira as its much warmer weather. We went when our newborn was 3 months and our toddler was 2.5 years. I absolutely loved it! Obviously I went with my husband so I would try and choose somewhere maybe you might feel less isolated? Maybe look on Facebook for expats or things to do with kids where you might meet other mums etc. Definitely do it! You won't regret it. Just consider those things that make like a bit easier like we hired a car for the month (pricey but worth it in madeira) and chose an apartment with shared pool so that if we went up to doing much we could at least go in the pool. Its easier to go away with a really young one compared to a toddler 100% they just sleep and eat in comparison. We liked the pool because if babies were napping the pool was literally a 5 metre walk away so could leave the monitor on and swim or sit on terrace etc.

I used to go away with a sixth month old and a 1.5 year old solo all the time. It’s not crazy - do it!

Not mad at all. I took myself, my two elder sons (11,9) and a 4 month old baby and drove down to the south of france solo for the summer holidays and stayed at various eurocamp sites. We had an absolute blast, having the car meant i could take anything I wanted with me and we just turned the journey into part of the holiday travelling over a few days with stop offs. Would absolutely do it again. Only thing I would advise against was the first couple of nights in a tent in 30 degree heat, not my finest hour booking that!

Absolutely do it! You will need it! Something to look forward to and something to keep you going through the first 6 months. I travelled with my baby at just 5 weeks and not regretted it! So go for it, do not be afraid what others might say or think! Remember maternity is all about you and baby, and you have to look after you first to be able to look after baby! I promise you it is beautiful being a mum but also draining and can be lonely.. and for your own mental health if you feel like you want to travel, book it and go for it!

You may have a difficult relationship with the father but moving away for a month is excluding him from being involved at a key early stage and bonding with child.

You need a conversation with him on whether this is realistic, roles to play etc.

It may be that you’ve agreed no involvement and he’s happy with that then crack on as sounds a great adventure, although it minimises expectation of future involvement.

if he intends to be fully involved and hands on then I think it’s a poor idea. If you did go away for a month, would you then be willing to pass baby to the Dad for him to go away for a month without you? I’m not sure comments would be so supportive in that situation.