My friends ex p keeps taking her ds to the pub on his access days.

[Oblomov]

She has been to court over access. Ex p does pay £50 maintenance per week, as court stipulated. But cancels access at the last minute.
He keeps taking ds to the pub, becasue ds (3)tells my friend that this is where he has been.
And her ds, going to ex p on a sunday is a total nightmare on a monday behaviour wise. Totally disobediant, shouting, tantrums, knocking his head on the wall. Rest of the fortnight he is fine.
I suggested that she was more upfront with her exp, and said .. from now on, this is o.k. , this not, or else I will stop access, ( they are due to go back to court in May. my friend suspects that ex p will then ask for an overnight stay)
Ex p swans off to spain, but has no money for ... a pair of shoes for ds.
Exp has not paid his phone bill so is uncontactable.
What advice shall I give my friend, please ?

Dnt get me wrong there is nothing wrong with taking kids into pubs, but i think the issue surrounding this is the fact that this is the only time the xp is seeing his ds and personally i think it is well out of order to spend this time in a pub. Kids at a young age are changing so much and you would have thought he would want to observe this and interact with his ds rather than spend his only day of contact in the pub. If he was still with ds's mum then this wouldnt be an issue as he would be spending other quality time with his son.
He needs to get his act together! I really think she should give him an altermatumn and say my way or the high way! It may just shock him into changing.

I think many parents take their Dc's to pubs, and if it's done as a part of a normal routine in which other things are done then fine, but on the one day of access the dad should be giving the child his undivided attention, meeting his mates in the pub won't do that.

Oblomov has your friend got 'legal' access or would she have to go to a solicitor for the first time with this?
If sh already deals with a solicitor I'd get her to speak to them and ask them to write to her x with strict stipulations on contact not being in pubs, unless it is a family celebration, on which hand she needs to know in advance. I'd imagine the solicitor would agree tbh.
I can't see a judge at court saying 'Sure you can take the kids to the boozer every week'

VS, no she has not had any legal advice. It has all been going on through the courts. He said he would deny it, f she said anything in court.
Do you think she needs proof ?

No, I wouldn't have thought so, you can make stipulations on access, and she wouldnt have to prove he'd ever took them there unless after he had been told not to he broke the conditions iyswim.
What ahs already happened wouldn't count because it isn't in the agreements atm, but once it was as soon as he broke the conditions she should try and get proof.
A solicitor can get on to the pub and ask for it's CCTV as soon as she is aware he has broken the conditions.

Thank you VS, that is exactly what I wanted to know.