Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

Original poster

Could I hold him to this agreement? Opinions please

7 replies

MeImAllSmiles · 17/02/2008 16:59

H and I are in really trouble. Last month he wrote a 'settlement' if we split up. He earns about £120k, we live with his three children and my two, we are married but have no children together. He has written that he will pay me x amount a month for maintenance for me and x amount of profit from his company every quarter. This in theory would enable me to leave our abusive marriage, although I am desperate to make it work although it appears he isn't. So my question is, I could live on this money with my children but I would be at his 'mercy' iyswim, say I upset him, he might not pay for a month and I would be in trouble, do you think I could make this legal or is his signature on the paper binding.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Original poster
MeImAllSmiles · 18/02/2008 09:09

Thanks everyone. Def seeing a solicitor next week, our half term this week. His offer is generous because he is consumed by guilt at the way he treats me, although he will do nothing to change.

OP posts:
wildfish · 18/02/2008 00:21

"Separation agreement" or "Minute of Agreement". Yes you can draw up your own (you can find templates on-line). Get two copies both signed by both parties and by an independent witness. In England I don't know how you make it a legal document, but in Scotland you simply register a copy of the document in Edinburgh (I forget the name!!!).

Now ideally both parties should have a lawyer each to ensure that neither can later claim they were forced into signing at prejudicial terms.

However either party could always challenge it in court if they want eventually.... so personally I would save on the lawyers!

It does provide a legal document.

HappyMummyOfOne · 17/02/2008 21:01

Spousal maintenance is not often granted by judges, especially when you have no children together.

The agreement would not stand up in court as its not a legal document.

gillybean2 · 17/02/2008 20:36

I know you can write up your own agreement re contact and get it rubber stamped at court, don't know about financial matters though. Speak to a sol to ensure wording can't be misinterpreted etc if you can do it. I do wonder why he is being so apparently generous though. You sure he doesn't have other assets you could be entitled too?

Also a court order re maintenance isn't binding really, he can apply to get it varied at any time and you'd have to go through court expenses and process again. Seems to me he might be short cutting things, appearing reasonable so you won't ask for a proper settlement when you do divorce, and then once completed he can revert to CSA calc should he choose too. Alls fair in love and war. Definitely get some proper legal advice before you agree to anything formally

WiiMii · 17/02/2008 17:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
MeImAllSmiles · 17/02/2008 17:07

Dubious myself hectate, just needed outside opinion thanks.

OP posts:
hecate · 17/02/2008 17:02

No idea. I wouldn't have thought so, tbh. But I suppose you can have a contract about anything you like! Bet it wouldn't hold up in a court though. See a solicitor. Maybe it would if it was drawn up professionally.

Really, get a solicitors pov.