Taking children away on your own

[SpinningFloppa]

I took my kids away for the first time over night yesterday on my own and honestly it was just the most awful and stressful experience ever! I don’t know how people manage this and for longer (a week or two) I spent the whole time stressed, and never want to do it again. I was considering taking them abroad but absolutely not. Honestly need a break myself after this break (not going to happen) I don’t know how people manage this and enjoy it? It’s very hard being the only one responsible for everything. I often see posts from people saying they took their children away alone and had the most amazing time but it was anything but! I feel bad for my children as our first time away was such a disaster.

I'm sorry you didn't have a good time. How old are they? Where did you go? If you are looking for advice will need more details, but if you're just venting then I'm sorry it was so bad!

How old are they?

I often find the first day and night of a holiday can be quite difficult (kids are tired and unsettled) but then it calms down. So it wouldn’t necessarily be a week of horror if you went for longer.

However if you have two under 5 then yep that’s just hard work and I wouldn’t bother unless you can stretch to somewhere with lots done for you (ie kids club or at least meals all done)

Or: can you team up with another solo mum? Double the kids of course but having another adult does make life easier (assuming you are compatible in parenting style etc)

Sorry you didn't enjoy it.

I have done it and find I just had to be really organised. Travel sorted, accommodation suitable and activities planned - or at least a good idea of what we might do (good weather or bad).

Things like the beach - I needed somewhere semi secure to put our stuff - so I got a beach tent with a zip up front, so hopefully I would have a few minutes warning if someone tried to get in and get things while we were playing or nipping to the loos.

Know how and when to feed the kids. If we were overnight I would usually have picnic stuff for day 1. Premier inn breakfast for day 2 etc.

There have been disasters- when someone was sitting in our train seats on a long journey on a busy train and wouldn't move - I had 3 little ones with me - one in a sling, with all the luggage and a pushchair. (A friend tweeted the conductor for that one as i couldn'twalk up and down and find him)
When we got back to a hotel and kids were too tired to go out for tea and the pizza ordered never arrived....so I cancelled it.....then it did arrive an hour later......after we had raided the vending machines for crisps and chocolate....

There have been plenty of nights at relatives where someone is ill, or can't sleep, or they tag team not sleeping.....

An open mind, a sense of humour and not too high expectations help. As the kids get older it gets easier.

And our disasters are now tales that we tell.

Thanks both for the comments, even the kids were relieved to be home which is saying something 😣 we had a tent but it was so windy I struggled to get it up and it took me absolutely ages (I knew I should have got a pop up one!) the weather didn’t help as the first day it just wasn’t good enough for the beach so the kids kept complaining but no way to guarantee good weather as you know hotels need to be booked in advance especially for the summer! I have 4 children 11 down to 5

Oh blimey camping with 4 kids and one adult is definitely a mission!! And for one night … means you do all the hard work of packing and setting up camp but then in reverse the next day.

I think you can have good solo trips, but it probably does need to be for longer and/or something a bit easier (ie not a tent!) to make it worth the effort.

sorry it wasn’t camping we did have a hotel but the tent was just for the beach I would never consider camping it’s not my thing at all! 😬

Oh I see, that’s a bit less crazy then 😆

I still think one night trips are a bit thankless though. Day trip or 2 ideally 3 nights work out better IME.

Definitely didn’t think one night was worth it but the hotel was fully booked and one night was all I could get in August before they go back as we booked last minute definitely would have been better if it was a weekend.

I'm not a single parent, but have taken my kids away solo lots of times. I do only have the two though! I usually do three or four nights, and prefer self catering (mostly due to fussy children and food allergies). It can be really lovely, but we've had one or two breaks that have been stressful because of bickering kids and/or rubbish weather!

The first time I took ds on holiday on my own the first night we nearly came home because neither of us could settle (both autistic) but once we got that out of the way we were fine. When we went to the beach ds played on his body board in the sea, I found a spot on the beach & was able to read while still keeping an eye on him, we did one day beach, the next day doing something like visiting amusements or the town centre & going out for lunch. We were self catering & stayed on a complex with places to eat & most nights got a pizza or ate in the bistro then settled down to watch TV or ds played with the Lego he had bought while I read or did my adult colouring with a glass of wine. It was easier in the sense we had nobody to please but ourselves.

I'm gearing myself up for taking solo. I usually take my mum along with me (she's a widow so alone herself). I have 3, similar age range to yours. Even with the 2nd pair of hands, the first day or 2 of the holiday is awful because of how overexcited they are. Longer trips def work out better. Ill be doing abroad all inclusive if I take them alone I think. Somewhere with kids clubs so I get a break. Don't let this first trip put you off.

I'm not a single parent but I do take my kids away on my own - I love it BUT they are 11 and there are only two of them.

What was it that made it so stressful?

I am not a single parent but my DH works away a lot so the only way my kids were going to get a summer holiday this year was if I took them myself. I had a trouble free experience because I booked an all-inclusive with a kids club and my children are 7 and 9. If I had 4 children and had to self cater/ entertain them the whole time then I wouldn't do it - sounds too stressful.

Yes I think just being the only one, would have been fine with an extra pair of hands, but I found being the only one responsible for everything to be the most difficult part but sadly I don’t have anyone that could come with us. I could never take them abroad and was planning to take them away for my birthday as it falls in the half term but There’s no way I would do it now.

How old?

i bloody love it

and always pity watching the couples bicker poolside!

I love being the one responsible.

i also find my children are so much better behaved than children is see in the “nuclear” family set up. It’s like my children just “get” that there are limits of what I can and can’t do on my own and we sort of team up as a little gang

Ah sorry 4 5-11

Such a shame to rule out that holiday op.

I could never go abroad, I wouldn’t even consider it tbh. I could manage with 2 but not 4 abroad, at home it’s fine but being abroad or away from home is a different sort of responsibility imo, and I do struggle with being the only one to deal with everyone’s needs on top of my own.

I lost my bank card when I was there (managed to find it but the stress of losing it was awful) lost my hotel key card (left it on a table at the restaurant) left things in the hotel after we left and had to go back and ask to get them which was embarrassing after losing the key card, had a massive head ache on day 2, I have a forgetful memory at the best of times that’s why I struggle with having to remember everything for everyone else on top of my own stuff. The children were relieved to come home which says it all really none of them actually want to go away again 😳

How did your children behave?

Sounds so stressful OP. I used to go on a fair few single parent holidays when DD was younger. This was one of the best companies singlewithkids.co.uk/ - options range from camping to nice overseas, there's other parents to chat to and lots of activities you are free to join or ignore. Definitely better than going it alone. Hope next year is better

Mine are grown now but they loved a mobile home. The novelty of it kept them excited the first day and then we would settle into a routine. I wasn't a lone parent but had much longer holidays than dh. I would have found a hotel stressful as too many people around and felt they needed to be on best behaviour. . The mobile meant we had our own little space.
Don't give up as next year they will be a bit older.

It sounds tough. Maybe next time you could try getting a caravan on a site for a few nights - swimming pool on site- look for one that is quite shallow so you can swim with all the kids. Some evening and daytime entertainment - less for you to think about, easy to go back to the caravan when needed for bits and pieces. Somewhere near a seaside town - so you can do arcades, museum, aquarium etc
But also space to chill out and just be normal...eat beans on toast and watch TV.

I don’t drive so can’t do caravans etc looked at haven and all of those but I need somewhere close to the station due to not driving, our hotel was right next to the station, haven etc is too far out. My children were fine other than the usual moaning about the weather but tbf it was very very windy so really hard to enjoy it and my oldest has sen so that obviously adds to the difficulty but I won’t be in a hurry to do it again

Igmum I will check out that website thank you