if you leave father off birth certificate does it make you look unreasonable?

[newlyseparated]

The father is not a nice person, has been emotionally abusive to me, but he is the father and he will definitely take it to court to get added (he's an obsessive type of person who won't just get bored and not bother). Pretty sure he will also go to court wanting joint residence eventually which I do not at all want. So just wondering if it would come back to bite me if I don't put him on birth certificate - if he goes to court for residence do I look a bit unreasonable not putting him on there when he will get added anyway? My family think I might as well just put him on. Would be keen to know if anyone ever had this situation come back to bite them in the future?
Thanks

What the fuck

rude and nasty based on no knowledge. Well done!

@MakeThingsRight your son can apply to go on the certificate; it’s just a little extra effort on his part but a very small amount of effort in comparison to raising a child. If his chance to be a father is ruined because he doesn’t bother to do this, that will be on him. Congratulations on your grandchild and I hope you can sort it out.

Thing is, ask yourself "do I care what others think?"

A) he has to attend the registration of you are not married.

B) if he takes it to court, costs you nothing, you can let him pay for it all, and represent yourself saying ok he can go on. Let him do the leg work and expense.

C) custody and child arrangement that's when I would say get legal advice.

But ultimately he doesn't have "the right" to be on the birth certificate immediately. And really, court won't care, it won't be the first case of the century when a man has been left off the birth certificate.

I'd also register baby with your surname. That can't be changed then and you and your baby can have a family name. Of he's likely to kick up a fuss about this, even more reason to leave him off and register the baby on your own.

If he is abusive as you say then leave him off. As others have said, being on the BC gives him parental rights. Let him go to court for it.

What the fuck rude and nasty based on no knowledge. Well done!

Don't need much more info to go on. He got a teenager pregnant. I can base my reply on that alone.

@SpringtimeDandelions thank you and we have already looked into this and I shall support him all the way. I have met baby, spent time with Mum - who is 19 btw - thanks for the earlier judgemental post from whomever it was.

He is 22, they were living together, both working, paying rent, both good people.

But there has been a fall out and this is his situation.

Early baby days are notoriously stressful and this is a common occurrence.

@SpringtimeDandelions I would like him to be on BC. We would - esp him like to see baby he's co-parented for the last 4 weeks.
If the split is permanent I shall ensure his demands are reasonable - as in - no way baby is leaving Mum overnight for many many months to come, that visits will be supervised by me or her if she wishes.

We're a very reasonable family. Mum is a lovely young woman and is coping admirably. However she has now shut my son, and me out that just leaves me worrying for her really. Always there for both of them!

Still chuckling at your son got a teenager pregnant haha. Least of my concerns. I had an 'accident' in my early 40's!!

@fluffycereal dofod. See above.

Anyway don't want to derail thread.

Good luck OP and decide what is best for you at this moment in time xx

Ps I do agree with giving baby your surname. It's just the right thing to do and it sounds like the relationship may not continue, so the best thing to do too xx

But this has now changed and it is now simply blank.

@PartyGoose @PeekAtYou Thank you, no we're not married and I didn't know he would have to attend to be there so that absolutely does make the decision for me because I really don't want to have to do it with him there. I am concerned about how to make arrangements for him to have contact with the baby because I do not trust him to be around either me or the baby. When I told him I was pregnant he said he didn't want it and that I had entrapped him, but now he has a vendetta against me and is saying he wants 50/50 as revenge, but not because he actually cares about the child.
@MakeThingsRight No we have not been living together for 6 months. I eventually got him to move out after he insisted I carry on supporting him financially for 2 months after we broke up (we broke up because he didn't want the baby) because he said he couldn't afford to move out. But it was too stressful for me to live in that environment and his behaviour has escalated since then. I have logged one incident with the police and the healthcare professionals involved in my care are all aware as well of his behaviour.
@ChoiceMummy thank you I think you're right. Although it does pain me to think he could get 50/50 of a child he never wanted and when he has been this abusive to me while pregnant that he clearly does not care about its wellbeing at all.

@fluffycereal @SpringtimeDandelions thank you for the very helpful advice. I have been in contact with a domestic abuse charity and they are giving me advice as well. I am hoping that with some time he will calm down and his behaviour will improve and I don't want to block him from the child's life but I do want to safeguard myself and the baby in these early stages. But I was just worried that a court might think I was being unreasonable by leaving him off. But I feel much more justified now.

Thank you everyone for the responses, I really appreciate it. Child maintenance isn't my major concern as he isn't very well off, but I also recognise that making him pay to show that he actually has a responsibility to the child and can't just make demands might be worth thinking about.

Glad you are back @newlyseparated sounds like you have made some wise decisions and have lots of things covered, including much needed support from other agencies.
Wishing you all the best!