Single parents, WFH and home-schooling

[NooNooMummy]

Anyone else struggling?!!! I am just dreading every day of the next few weeks. No fricking idea how to do this!!! Again!!!!

Just about got through last time with our heads still above water but I don’t think my half-arsed attempts at rushing through my own work are going to cut it this time.

No financial help available to me other than a mortgage holiday... Just need my little one in school but we’re not vulnerable. Apparently...

How old is your dc. My eldest is independent in his learning I need to check he has joined the right lessons and knows what to follow up with. Youngest can't do anything independently. How teachers do it I have no idea. She will do my maths and tt rock start. And we read together at bed time. But other wise she is in and out whilst I'm working. I have half an hour break at lunch and we all go for a walk. Then I do a few hours with her in the pm. I am lucky I work until 3. But you can only do what you can do.

So sorry you are finding it hard. No real advice here, but just wanted to say that you are not alone.

Personally, I'm very annoyed at the lack of recognition and help available for single parents WFH. Its a bloody nightmare.

Hope tomorrow is better for you.

@NooNooMummy
Hi
I'm a lone parent, trying to make the best of it.
Not sure of your scenario. But I start earlier so finish earlier.
I have also created a "timetable" or schedule of what is expected each day. The majority of it is materials I have bought or follow on from what we used last lockdown when there was no school support.
I have organised it so that there's a mix of activities my child can do totally independently, as well as incentives like 5 stars is x reward, lots of breaks built in, but the breaks are timed, otherwise I found previously that too long breaks led to more issues than it solved.
We also do less each day but also work mornings at the weekend to catch up and ensure that key teaching happens then.
Not sure if any of this is something you could use?

Just here to say you're not alone. I'm really struggling at the moment, more with watching the impact this whole thing has had on my kids. Teenage son doesn't even leave his room or speak to me, my four year old wants me to play all day, flat out refuses to try to do any work, plays up in zoom classes, and seems to be regressing behaviour wise. And I'm working ft too which basically means I'm working into the night and weekend to make up the hours.
Tried schedules, tried behaviour charts/incentives etc but it's already failing.
I'm sick of seeing all these brilliant mums with bags of patience making me look like a shite mum.
But I guess all we can do is all we can do. There's no other options, it has to be good enough and that goes for work too. I'd love to see any employer try and sack a single mum struggling during lockdown.

My Ds is in school part time.. i have done my first day of homeschooling 🙈🍷

I'm currently looking at buying my toddler a tablet for this exact reason. I'm a single mum and teacher. Starting Monday I will be teaching 2 online live lessons a day, the only way I can imagine to keep my toddler quiet is to give her a tablet. I was adamant to not do tablets until she was in school at least but I think this is the only way I will manage to get my lessons done in peace. Feel like a bad parent for it also having to do all my planning and assessing once she goes to bed which means I'm not getting any time to rest. 3 days in and I'm already exhausted! Mum guilt and teacher guilt, plus covid anxiety. I'm finding this all a lot harder.

You're not alone, working ft from home, homeschooling 2 children- very different levels, single parent and I have corona. There's no let up at all.

@TwinkleMerrick

I'm currently looking at buying my toddler a tablet for this exact reason. I'm a single mum and teacher. Starting Monday I will be teaching 2 online live lessons a day, the only way I can imagine to keep my toddler quiet is to give her a tablet. I was adamant to not do tablets until she was in school at least but I think this is the only way I will manage to get my lessons done in peace. Feel like a bad parent for it also having to do all my planning and assessing once she goes to bed which means I'm not getting any time to rest. 3 days in and I'm already exhausted! Mum guilt and teacher guilt, plus covid anxiety. I'm finding this all a lot harder.

Can you not send your 3 year old into childcare, even part time.. Assuming you are i England. Early years is open to all.

@Starlightstarbright1 I can but my daughter and myself are both asthmatic and I have taken the decision to not send her in, I won't take the risk as we are both classed as vulnerable.

[quote TwinkleMerrick]@Starlightstarbright1 I can but my daughter and myself are both asthmatic and I have taken the decision to not send her in, I won't take the risk as we are both classed as vulnerable. [/quote]
Oh ok in that case you have to do what you have to do to get through.

We are all juggling and finding our best way through .

Would cbeebies be a better option than a tablet? I'm a SP to tweens, also a teacher but will be sending mine in from next week as I also have to be in at least a bit for key worker provision and we all get far more done this way. Ex is bring predictably useless at stepping up also. When I was teaching from home and home schooling it was a definite juggling act.. We had devices each but they needed a lot of, not exactly help, but guidance and reassurance to get them doing anything sensible. My oldest is welded to a screen permanently these days 😒

OP it’s so hard. I’m working with a 4 year old at home from school and I’m getting through by the skin of my teeth. I’ve been refused furlough and my work is really suffering.

No words of advice but I see you and send you my love.

It would be quite easy for schools to accommodate us - I just don’t understand why single-parents aren’t being recognised. I can’t furlough, can’t get a loan/ grant... How am I supposed to do this, Boris?! I don’t have a nanny, partner at home... Hello?! yes, I’m losing it...

Yes I'm so annoyed about the lack of recognition and accommodations for single parents. I don't expect or want a medal, but even some prominent articles in the press highlighting how difficult it is for us would help - employers may then take a bit more notice and be more supportive. My employer quite simply didn't seem to get it (or chose not to) during the last lockdown and in the end I had to quit my job.

I also can't furlough, have a serious health condition, and child has learning difficulties (fortunately relatively mild, but still a challenge). DC's dad is overseas no help there.

Yet there is an extremely broad "key worker" definition in place, and even part-time key workers with a SAHP or furloughed partner get to send their children in. Absolutely nothing though for single parents. I am fuming about it.

I know many single parents are in a much worse situation than me, e.g. multiple children, money worries, no computers etc. My heart goes out to them. This is all so very wrong.

@Breadmix23 I share your frustrations about how little recognition there seems to be for single parents having to do this alone.

I started a petition of parliament to get the inequalities around this addressed. I dont think we're allowed to post direct links to petitions on threads, so have to link instead to the thread about it, which is here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/petitions_noticeboard/4128560-School-closures-Review-options-to-monitor-and-mitigate-inequalities-of-impact

Please sign and share it widely if you can! If we get 10k signatures the gov has to respond (100k and there will be a full debate on it, which would be the best)

My son is a teen now but when he was little and I was working from home I used to do 3-5 hrs after he went to bed and/or 2-3 hrs before he woke up with just a fleeting look at my emails during the day.

It sounds exhausting but I can assure you it is more exhausting to try to work and deal with little ones at the same time.

Yes, I used to work through the night after little one in bed. It’s not good though. And I still have to respond to emails/ attend online meetings during the day...urgh

Loving the petition! Yes, please share widely!!!

Will definitely sign the petition, thanks for flagging that up.

I do wonder if some of the lack of help for single parents is due to the stereotype of the single parent and being viewed as "takers" from the system.

It frustrates me as if we were all feckless spongers on benefits or whatever stereotype people like to think of then we wouldn't have to worry about WFH with home schooling! Most of us actually want to work!!!

@KarmaNoMore that's fine for a short period of time. But doing it day in day out is exhausting.

Small word of advice you can have a conversation with school and say that as a single parent who is working you feel vulnerable if you are to potentially lose your job through not being able to cope, if you are not able to keep your commitments and also do homeschooling you are vulnerable. I have heard that some people have been offered days where the little ones can go to school on an exceptional basis but you need to initiate a conversation at a high enough level with the actual school, deputy headmaster or above.

Yes. Have tried all that but no luck. I’m self-employed (previously employed so no grant available) and I’ve just scaled down my work, will live off overdraft and hope I still have some clients left when all this is over. 🙂

It’s worth a try tho’. Thanks for highlighting for others 👍

@Chucklecheeks01 I did it for 18 months while I was studying and for 2 years when I was self employed. It worked fine (as long as I had a napp when DS was having one 🙂)

But is does depend on how long your child sleeps for. Mine sleeps for 8 hours so no possibility of doing all those hours after and before DC sleeps. And also depends if you work can wait til after hours. For many its just not possible.