Holiday time

[Skribble]

Ok what the hell do you do for family holidays when it is just you and the kids???

Don't do "med" type holidays and not keen on holiday camps. We used to go to nice self catering cottage and spend the days out visiting places nearby, doon't fancy sitting in a cottage myself at night when kids in bed, but what is the alternative.

Other holiday I have liked was Lake Garda, but we hired a car and did a lot of driving and I don't want to do that myself with the kids, God this is shit.

Oh fishfood, see now I have to work out if I have enough time to fit in going to get fish food before H has to go back to work. Poor little buggers weren't fed all week as he didn't come back to the house at all, I would have got a block if I had known. See I even have to put the fish first .

nutty has a thread going about looking for work as a sp. i rambled on it a bit last night. the thing is you do have the right idea - different things work for different people. i know a few single parents - male and female - who work full time and have childminders etc. thats what works for them so is good. i went the other way. owned house, had career etc but dropped out of it all to look after kids - youngest wasnt even in playschool at the time. i just put them first as their own mother didnt even want to look after them - altho after a while said she would if i paid her - have a great taste in the fairer sex . anyway, i stayed home, then worked part time, paid, unpaid whatever. but was always doing something when kids were out, renovated houses allsorts.
and now theyre old enough to look after themselves so i work full time and dont regret frequent skintitude. its been fun and the kids have enjoyed it. their opinion of their mother is less good but not my problem - have always tried to put them first.
only problem now is i'm still crap at the relationship side of things but not an old crock just yet. and i'm off out house hunting - the suns out.

shit - havent fed mine for a week

thanks - given them a hand full - will last a while, pond needs cleaning tho - yuk.

hi ya skribble - youve got to make the clean break asap, no matter how much you try to hide it from the kids, they will sense that something is not right, so go for it. Nothing worse than living in a atmosphere.

i have 2 different dads to contend with (old slapper i know!!!) dp1 broke up with him about 10 years ago, my 2 older ds's are his, he sees them every other weekend.

dp2 who i split up with about 5 weeks ago, with him for 8 years and have ds3 3.5 with him.

Anyhow life story over, dp2 sees ds3, every Sunday and has done for about last 3 weeks. Try not to look at it as him seeing the kids, but the kids are seeing him and they need to, no matter what happens between you two, they need to know their dad still loves them. I always look at it as to how my kids are benefitting, not dp's.

Iamtakingmytwoonholidayonmyowntommorowforthefirsttime...wouldtypemorebutmyspacebarisntworking.Goingt otakebooksanddigibox...

i AM ACTUALLY GOING on holiday tomorrow with my son who is five and i cant wait. It is our second holiday in 18 months on our own and i really enjoyed our first. We get to do what we want and cant stay in pajamas if we want and eat icecream too.

I say take lots of book with you and some bubble bath too so you can have baths int eh evenings.

The only dowside is that i am not used to finding places, x used to navigate and i used to drive. I have sat nav now so really dont need a man apart from my little one.

I took FIL's Satnav, my god it was fantastic, took a lot of stress out of driving. Beware they take you along all the B roads if the route is shorter. Some scary encounters with buses.

Def take digi box if self-catering or even hotels I suppose, perhaps DVD player and some good films too.

I took a couple of novels and got a couple of logic puzzle books to get the brain working for Uni, ok I could have actualy taken uni books but thats not right on holiday.
Oh and I got a stack of half bottles of wine so I could have a drink but not get to rat-arsed that I couldn't drive inthe morning.

I told exH that he has to be cleared out by the end of the week!!!!!!
I am going to concentrate on uni and continue working part-time to keep up my income for tax credits. I think I will do some voluntary work with CAB or similar good experience. I need to stop beating myself up for not having a job at the moment, I am a busy mum with a full-time uni course to concentrate on (distance learning) I need to be there for my kids and continue taxing them to all their activities so they will grow up into the fantastic people I know they are.

singledad glad you remembered your fish too .

Right what do I say at work????

I don't know what to say to everyone, the rumours have started and some know. I want to come out of this looking like a confident independent woman LOL, I thought about saying I work for this company I don't want to be married to it as well. (Everyone knows exH works loads of hours and works away from home too) Lots of relationships have suffered in our company and infact in our industry.

And what do I tell the kids???

I don't want to look the villan in this but I don't want them to hate their dad either, I know they need him too. Any tips? What did you find helped your kids to understand or what made things worse or upset them?

Aha my space bars back
I go tommorow and ive barely done a thing...I did however cut both lawns today and cleared the stinking drains out heaving as I did so...
Taking MP3 player too.....

Go and get organised Charliecat, have a great time!!!! . At least you don't have to come back to the stinky drains.

kids, uni, work and volunteering? you sound like me but with your brain in gear. oh - and thanks for the fish reminder, they looked hungry all week - keep forgetting them. drove for hours in the country looking for a house - found an old church for sale but not very big - the size of my back garden - kids unimpressed. and a disused garage/filling station - similarly unimpressed. will know what i'm looking for when i see it no doubt.

oh - well done with youre positive thinking!!! is good to have a motivational typist or two around, makes a change from being lectured.

as far as telling folks at work - do the emotionally detatched thing - short, to the point and without sounding bitter. people will make their own minds up as you both work there - will sort your friends out no doubt. kids are harder, will leave that one with you.

better go - supposed to be looking for plumbing sites, my diverter valve appears to have jammed - and i thought it was working.

Thanks again SDof3, converting a church sounds like a bit of a challenge, especially with a jammed diverter valve .

I think I will go for the aloof and really not all that interested approach at work. Its not the worst split our company has seen, mind you most seem to carry on shagging around while still together and everyone knows about it, hopefully I can retain some respect by being seen to end it rather than putting up with it like other partners (male and female)have .

Kids well different matter, will have to see how that goes I suppose.

hi skribble how old are your kids?

Kids are 8 and 10.

I had DS 10 himself today so I decided to tell him. He took it fairly well as he pretty much knew. Decided to get that overwith as I think DD will be a bit more difficult. She is more emotional on the surface whereas DS keeps it all very deep, so I know it might not be all as Ok as it seems with DS yet.

kids do pick up when things arent right of course and so theyll probably accept it better if they see that youre happier on your own. even if thats not entirely true in the short term - long term you will and theyll see it. bad marraiges dont just affect us - they play havoc with kids and their outlooks on life. important thing is to give them time with their dad when they want it, whether you agree or not, and try and get him to make plans and stick to them. expect you know all that anyway.

and dont be too bothered about feeling like you want to clear off now and then. have lost count of the times ive just wanted my life back - struggle to be one parent at times, never mind two. but is all good fun.

just need to find meself somewhere new to move to now - been here far too long. and have another church in mind - in some woods by a river - a real old empty thing. was dropping hints to the owner this morning. who knows. i do enjoy a challenge and housing estates are a bit dull at the best of times.

Told the DD as well and exH looked gutted that there was no wailing or begging from them. Shame our son has more maturity and selflessness than his dad. exH bubbled away while DS gave DD some words of wisdom .

I want my kids to respect me and see that I am a strong and loving Mum. After the way they dealt with all this today I have so much respect and love for my kids, they are amazing, which must mean I am a pretty good Mum .

I am lucky that I do get away to work including overnights which always seem to involve a large amount of alcohol and chatting into the wee small hours. Plus my course involves a couple of days away a month. MIl is very good.

Your church in the woods sounds fantastic, a lot of work, but hopefully worth it and better than a housing estate. That is what I dream of doing, building a log cabin or converting something, but I don't have enough stamina for projects like that, I would end up just living in a static caravan on site for years, not that that sounds all that bad, if I could get a good site I would be happy as larry in a decent sized static (or two) .

yeah well funny you should mention the cabin/caravan. kids are well aware theyre a defininte possibility. have babbled on for years about wanting to take the plunge - theyre finally old enough to help out and keen to rough it for a while. have only one real criteria - must beable to see the sun set on the horizon any time of the year. means no buildings nearby. think i can manage that. otherwise its back to the wooden self build - which is far easier and less troublesome. is back out tomorrow looking at a business use only church in open countryside. will pester the next door farmer for a few acres - had a side line growing trees a few years ago but ran out of space. moslty gone and planted now. to do it as a business and live onsite sounds a possible.

oh - glad to hear your kids are ok so far - makes it all worthwhile, and they do appreciate it - can tell you from experience, they know who has been there for them.