Disinheriting the kids

[catspyjamas123]

I am divorced from ex and each of us has enough cash to buy a three-bedroom family home. The kids don’t want to see him and he has chosen a home with nowhere for them to stay. His choice - even though the whole point of the settlement is for each parent to have a “family home” where they can do parenting.

Now he says he is going to write a will and cut out DD, who is 15. There was some emotional abuse and she blew the whistle on him and this is his punishment. The abuse is also the reason she doesn’t wish to see him.

I doubt there will actually be much to inherit. He will spend it all. But it’s the sheer nastiness of the man that’s getting to me. This is so immoral. And actually illegal, I think, as she is a minor dependent. DD doesn’t care anyway.

So much for the court’s fantasy of shared parenting etc etc etc.

I'm in a few minds about this. Firstly no child deserves an inheritance and given the way the population ages it's very likely that he'll need care and there'll be nothing left anyway. I do agree he's prob doing it to attack DD for "grassing him up" tho. I reckon neither of you respond- if you don't give him the power he'll be less likely to use it as a threat

I know it hard to ignore when it's your kids he's hurting/disadvantaging but there comes a point where you can't completely protect them from the fact their dad is a grade A arsehole. But they have you to balance it out, you are their safety, their security and they know they can rely on you, that's all that matters

The good news is, once he's dead, if he has left his rolling acres to your son, he can choose to share it with his sister.

I take it your legal settlement is totally locked down so he can't blow through all of his money and then come back to you for more?

No, he can’t come back for more and that is why I had to have a clean break settlement.

Either really do feel for you. My first husband had a £300,000 house and I had a small £150,000 house. I wasn't that bothered about him keeping his house as I was sure our only child would inherit it one day and we were happy enough in urban 2 bed home. DS lived with me exclusively.
However over the last 25 yeas exH has wasted the whole lot, gambling, failed investments and expensive holidays and now rents a studio flat.
I am disgusted that he has provided nothing for his sons future, absolutely disgusted. What an utter waste of space. I could murder him I really could.

I agree to Hidingtonothing. The good news is you have a clean break, are free of him and can get on with your life. Do not allow your grown up DS to filter any news either, does she do it vountarily or do you ask? My grown up sons have something of a relationship with their father I think, he behaved terribly and I do not have the slightest bit of interest in him and certainly he is never brought up in discussions. I do hope there is such a thing as karma, but I will never have the satisfaction of knowing.

I'm a dad of 3 dd's. 1 is mine, she's 10, the other 2 are in their 20's, and are my beautiful SD's. Your ex is a fucktard, a fuck wit and a shit. Bollocks to him. He will die lonely, and unloved. Fuggedabout him.

My Dad did same first to my brother then to me. He was also emotionally abusive. It's a power trip thing and now we're all adults and he has nobody left and will die a bitter lonely old man. There's something inherently wrong in the minds of people who do this. Your daughter is definitely better off without him in her life, however regardless of whether she says she isn't bothered, this and the emotional abuse will have affected her somewhat, especially given her age. Does she have access to any counselling?
Personally I'd just take out a life insurance policy for the kids to make up for his deficit too.

Yes she has had counselling and is doing a whole lot better in life. We all are. We don’t need his money, I am just still gobsmacked that someone can behave this way.