Any lone parents working full time?

[fairytaleoflondontown]

Hi MN
I'm a single mum to DD age 4. She's just started at school & I was made redundant in June. I've always worked 25 hrs PW giving me time to clean the house/exercise/'me time' as very inconsistent support from ex and no family nearby.
Have struggled to find a job I wanted but have been offered one after a very long interview. The post is Full time
Currently trying to work out the before & after school logistics of childcare...
Feel really anxious about juggling everything and don't want to spend weekends cleaning etx!
Any other single parents out there who just 'make it happen'?
Any top tips or words of advice / support would be most welcome!

I’m not a lone parent however I started a full time job but after a couple of months I managed to renegotiate my hours to 30 a week so had a day off in the week. Might be worth considering to see if that’s a possibility.

Thanks so much everyone.
I'm relieved to know it isn't just me doing the lone parent full time thing.
I have a few weeks to prepare....
you've all been really helpful!
Cleaner, weekend club for DD & swapping childcare with other single mums all fab suggestions!
I should also add that I might have to move house before the end of the year, I have a dog & I'm training for London Marathon. I know, I know.....
CRAZY TIMES

The unhappiest and most resentful and most alone,stressed and anxious I ever felt was in the run up to leaving my x.

For that reason I dont like to slap back any married mother driving by lone parent threads.

It can be worse wishing. I did everything under more stress when i was 'with' x.

I think Dragon or anyone else who has useful life hacks is perfectly entitled to post here. I'm a lone parent but in some ways I have it quite easy as I get time 'off' on alternate weekends and part of the holidays when it is all quiet, I can lie in and do stuff for myself. Everyone's situation is different.

I think Dragon or anyone else who has useful life hacks is perfectly entitled to post here. I'm a lone parent but in some ways I have it quite easy as I get time 'off' on alternate weekends and part of the holidays when it is all quiet, I can lie in and do stuff for myself. Everyone's situation is different.

Oh another thing I did years ago that might help you if you have a dog, I had a cleaner come in for 2 hrs two days a week and while she was in she put my dogs in the garden. It allowed her yo get on without them under her feet and let them have a pee and enjoy a change of scenery for a couple of hours. 2 birds with the 1 stone
I obviously walked dogs before and after work just incase there are any dog police reading.. .....

Like yika I think anyone can answer op. Married or otherwise. You don't have to be in a situation to offer advice on it. That's crazy talk!
Like you yika I have more time to myself now I am a single parent. I feel like my load has been lightened.
Good luck op. It'll all work out im sure. Good luck with the marathon!!

Yika Dragon well of course you can post, but you sure do come across as ignorant. Did you in fact read the OP's question asking for lone parents?

Oh and it's not about "life hacks" ffs, it's about managing the load. And the fact you don't get it is a clear illustration for why this thread is not for you.

I will add get a dog walker to the advice. Wish I'd done it sooner. I can only afford one day but I can work at home some days. It's lovely having one day when child looked after and happy and so is dog and I csn get on at work guilt free!

Op I lone parent and work full time. It is possible but you have to go easy on yourself. My house is clean but rarely 'tidy' and it's a nightmare when kids are sick. Afterschool club is fantastic but financially it's a strain. You can do it tho! Try n find a job that's understanding of your situation. Get a plan in place for meals /prep in advance. Go for it! Good luck.
Ps not sure how others can afford a cleaner! Im clearly in the wrong job. Only just afford to pay the mortgage here!

I work full time and my DS is 6. It's exhausting but I find the mental load the most demanding aspect - there's always something to remember, be it school related, work, house, general DS welfare, remembering to have a life in between!
I make lots of lists, live ruthlessly by the calendar (I'm not naturally very organised but have learned to be, out of necessity) and plan my limited time off well in advance so I've got something to look forward to.
I don't have a cleaner but I agree totally about online shopping and having a childminder who cooks a proper hot meal every day - not having to do this when you get home is a lifesaver.
Oh - and getting enough sleep. Boring, but force yourself to go to bed early.

If you can afford a cleaner do it. It's worth every penny. Try BorrowMyDoggy for dog walking. I think it's pretty good. Ocado online app and shop. This is a life saver for me. I work full time commute into London and travel loads. The ex has the kids one night a week so that helps and I get a night to do normal stuff ( just been to choir! Good for the soul!). I chose Wednesday so I get a break mid week. I also live near my mobile m and frankly don't know where I'd be without her. Try and ask mums at school people really don't mind helping out with the odd pick up and drop off. What else? Well it takes a bit of practice getting your act together and now and again I screw up BUT I have learnt after almost a year. Nobody will die if I forget something and Im no longer living in a source of constant irritation 😎

It all sounds so depressingly pointless. Pay a cleaner. Pay Laundry. Pay a dog walker. It's outsourcing your life so you can live somebody else''s. That's how I feel. I do online shopping and I'm really organised and I get everything me and 2 dc need for the next day ready the night before.

Well I've been up since 6am, just getting into bed now after all the meal prep, washing up and school admin. Have to be up at 5am tomorrow so I can actually wash my hair for a change before work

It's not easy at all but I've found a few hours at the weekend when my 6yr old is at footy, where I can go off for a swim or do my eyebrows etc. That slot does me the world of good! Make sure you find some time for yourself OP.

bandhag I don't think it's depressingly pointless if i can afford to pay for a bit of help.
It means I can have a bit of me time that doesn't involve housework & washing. I have no family nearby & DD's dad has her on average 2 days per month (not negotiable) so being able to go running or meet a friend for coffee is awesome.

Bandhag.. I don't find paying for help depressing. It's necessary. It's just not possible to work long hours and run a home and raise a child without help. Many people have a partner or family or even an ex who is a decent parent. I have none of those so I have to pay for help.

This allows me to live a decent life and be a good Mum.

Yeh, sorry fairytaleoflondontown I know it depends on a lot of things. The commute, the age of your DC, how much you enjoy the job, how your friends (if you have any) fit in around your working life.

I'm just questioning my actual level of contentment right now against my level of contentment when I had no money but was free. I am the sort of person who is never bored. I"m artistic, and I've done nothing creative at all since I started working full time, and I said I wasn't going to 'lose' myself again.

I don't know what the answer is though. I didn't like being judged before I was working and I also worried about money.

Try to be organised but don't stress about non important stuff! It is definitely do able depending on your commute and what 'me time' you need to function at your best.
I'm a single parent to 2 primary age Dds but do have my fab mum round the corner. I work 30(ish) hours a week and prefer to work 4 days with one day not working. I think this helps me stay sane!!

I think the hardest thing is dr appointments for kids/ life admin etc so if you can have some flexibility with the working hours that could help- do you think you could negotiate some or work from home occasionally? I just wouldn't have the holiday to cover that as well as school holidays.

Cleaner/ babysitter when funds allow are a must - you can't look after dd if you are not looking after yourself. dont feel guilty either you are doing a fab job!

I work full time and I have 2 boys aged 9 and 7.
For the last 4 years I've had aupairs (lifesaver). This has allowed me to go on dates and build up relationship with my boyfriend.
The hardest bit is to taxi DC to scouts x 2, football x 3 every week. Mad rush after work.
Also the fact that their dad is nearly absent.
If their dad pulled his share, I would be singing.

I’ve recently become a single parent although feel like I’ve always been one since my stbxh did sod all! Financially or physically but that’s a whole other story I won’t bore you with now. My dd is 2 and a half.
I work 32 hours a week with Wednesdays and weekends off. I actually have more time now to get stuff done because my ex has our dd every Tuesday night and every other weekends. I tend to leave any chores like ironing and more extensive cleaning ie the bathroom until these times.
I still get overwhelmed though and I’m so lucky to have an amazing family to lean on for support.
I do agree with some posts on here with the opinion that sometimes being in a relationship with someone who is never there and does nothing to help can sometimes be more lonely than being a lone parent. My ex works 11 hour days and put his social life way before his family. Granted, I’ve only just found myself in that situation but I have a hell of a lot more help from my family now I’ve moved closer to them than I ever did from my xh who I lived with.

I'm a single mum and I've worked full-time since mine were 8 & 6, I was part-time before that. I had live-in aupairs until the DC were 11 & 9 and that was the only way I could do it, as the before & after school arrangements just weren't long enough to cover my commute, let alone holiday clubs, which never seemed to be quite long enough to cover my working day.

Mine are 18 & 16 now & they've survived ok.

I'm still alive too, although it has been hard work. I do spend at least half a day at the weekend, doing domestic chores, because I can't afford a cleaner. My DC are very helpful though.

Give it a go and assuming the job itself is ok put in a flexible working request after a few months.

It’s a massive plus being so close to the workplace. It’s an hour each way for most options for me at the moment.

Might be work asking about starting and finishing early though, depending on what time the school breakfast club opens.

Am that you are also training for the LM.
I am not working at the moment and have no idea where I’d fit in the training! Good luck tho.

Oh and while you are working FT definitely get a cleaner.

Ah, glad this thread is still 'live'!
Haven't started the job yet but there are two days where I can pick up DD from school.
I've been doing pretty much everything for 3 and a half years & working 25 hrs PW...but working that extra 12 hours is gonna be tough!
Her dad has her about two days/nights per month